Not trans, not cis. What am I?

[allaboutthecrisps]

This is a genuine thread. I will try and phrase this well and please only respond on topic. It's hardtm tobhave a respectful conversation about any gender identity topics atm but I feel it's important that we work towards that. So I've been trying to educate myself about gender identity issues. I have read around a little and explored some definitions and descriptors. I have come to the conclusion that I do not have a gender identity. This means I'm not cis as the definition of that relies on my gender identity matching my biological sex. I'm not trans as there's no sense of a mismatch either and whilst I hate my body that's not because of it's sexual characteristics. I could see a category of gender queer but that did not really talk to me either. This came up because I was completing some questionnaires which asked me to report my gender identity. If this is something we're going to be asked to do more often (and I think it is) its important to me to do this in a way which I can actually identify with. There will be people much more informed about these issues than me so can you advise what 'gender identity' someone without a gender identity can report. Ia it perhaps agender or are there other more helpful categories?

@allaboutthecrisps

I'd happily ignore this tbh but in the world of online forms they don't let you. I don't want to put 'don't want to report' as I'm happy to really as long as there is a box I can identify with. The definition of woman has changed in some quarters whether we like it or not.

The definition of lots of words has changed OP and means different things to different people. The definition of woman in my dictionary is:

noun: women
an adult female human being.

If you are asked to tick a box and the options are Male/Female then if you are an adult human female, then tick Female.

You seem to be confusing sex with gender which is what we've been discussing on the thread. Just ignore those in 'certain quarters', most people do.

Aren't you just you? Why do we have to conform to any rigid definition? It's so conservative but pretending to be the opposite: forcing people into made up and proliferating categories. Who ever said that any gender identity should match your biological sex? They're not the same thing are they? I'm so confused

From your description it sounds like you are a woman. It’s not your responsibility to make others - who may possibly not agree with you happy or to conform to what they think. Not in a confrontation way, just a calm matter of fact way. Women have existed for many 1000s of years.

Most of the language changes are fortunately only still in noisy areas of the Internet, but I know very few people who give it any credence in the real world.
The ones I have met, I go along with, just with an inner eye roll.

I don't support the idea of gender identity, I don't believe gender is anything other than social constructs about what male and female are "supposed" to look like or do. So I consider myself female, with a personality, beliefs and behaviours some of which might align with supposedly "feminine" norms and some considered to be "masculine". I don't believe in gender identity so would never respond to a question about it.

@eurochick

I find the comparison to religion helpful. Being told I am CIS because I am not trans makes as much sense to me as being told I must be Catholic because I am not Protestant. It's all meaningless to me because they are not belief systems to which I subscribe.

Yes! Well put

You don't have to identify as anything, and all this gender crap is just that, crap.

You're a woman. End of . Not cos not trans not Princess Consuela BananaHammock.

The definition of woman hasn't changed. Some people are trying to do that, and at the moment you are helping them and buying it hook ,line and sinker.

@AccidentallyOnPurpose

You don't have to identify as anything, and all this gender crap is just that, crap.

You're a woman. End of . Not cos not trans not Princess Consuela BananaHammock.

The definition of woman hasn't changed. Some people are trying to do that, and at the moment you are helping them and buying it hook ,line and sinker.

I'm clinging to you like a life raft in the ocean!!

You don't have to identify as anything, and all this gender crap is just that, crap.
You're a woman. End of . Not cos not trans not Princess Consuela BananaHammock.
The definition of woman hasn't changed. Some people are trying to do that, and at the moment you are helping them and buying it hook ,line and sinker.
I'm clinging to you like a life raft in the ocean!!

Room for a little one?!

I don't think I am going along with it really. I'm just not happy ticking a box saying I'm a ciswoman as that is saying things about my identity which are not true. I'm happy to embrace diversity and understand that others identities may be very different to mine and also recognise that times change. I fear that if we unquestioningly tick a ciswoman box the lack of fit with our experience is hidden

@allaboutthecrisps

I don't think I am going along with it really. I'm just not happy ticking a box saying I'm a ciswoman as that is saying things about my identity which are not true. I'm happy to embrace diversity and understand that others identities may be very different to mine and also recognise that times change. I fear that if we unquestioningly tick a ciswoman box the lack of fit with our experience is hidden

How many forms actually have ciswoman as an option? I haven't seen any yet, but with how things are going it wouldn't surprise me.

However the answer to that is not to find yourself a shiny brand new identity. It's to speak out and complain and make those companies aware that the erasure of women is not acceptable. To make other women aware too. You are a woman and if they want your info/custom they should acknowledge and treat you as such.

It's not you who has to change and adapt. You are a woman . You were a woman. You'll still be a woman in 30 years. It's not an identity, it's what you are.

@GreyhoundG1rl

You don't have to identify as anything, and all this gender crap is just that, crap. You're a woman. End of . Not cos not trans not Princess Consuela BananaHammock. The definition of woman hasn't changed. Some people are trying to do that, and at the moment you are helping them and buying it hook ,line and sinker. I'm clinging to you like a life raft in the ocean!!

Room for a little one?!

Can I join you please?!

How many forms have you seen asking into tick a box saying ciswoman, @allaboutthecrisps?
On these forms what are the other options?

I'm the same as you OP.

I don't have a gender. I have a sex. So I'm female.

If the box asks for gender, I put none.

@HazeyJaneII

How many forms have you seen asking into tick a box saying ciswoman, *@allaboutthecrisps*? On these forms what are the other options?

The England Rugby consultation had these options. I ticked "other" and said my sex was female. If they were trying to assess the impact on those of the female sex they will have failed, not least because many of the female rugby players will go "WTF" and go and have a drink instead.

My answer to these questions is to cross them out and put "sex: female".

Gender doesn't exist. It's OK to acknowledge that.

@drspouse

Yes that was the consultation which prompted this question. I put other then described myself as a female non binary woman but wasn't sure I really believed myself.

Cis women is an offensive term. I also point that out at every opportunity. I will not be othered out of referring to myself as what I am, an adult human female.

@WallaceinAnderland

I'm the same as you OP.

I don't have a gender. I have a sex. So I'm female.

If the box asks for gender, I put none.

Some people (on this thread, even) would have you believe that makes you trans. 🤯 or 🤣, I don't know which.

I genuinely don't mean this in a goady way, but can't you just be you? Why do you need to contort your sense of self to fit some one else's prescribed tick box categorization that you don't feel any connection to? Maybe you are just a person, with all the rich range of human characteristics that entails.

[quote allaboutthecrisps]@drspouse

Yes that was the consultation which prompted this question. I put other then described myself as a female non binary woman but wasn't sure I really believed myself.[/quote]
I'd refuse to fill in a form that asked if I was a 'ciswoman' they can fuck right off. I'd cross it out and put 'Female'.

Autistic people are more likely than neurotypical people to be gender diverse, several studies show, and gender-diverse people are more likely to have autism than are cisgender people

Well yes this is true but it doesn’t follow that most people who don’t have a gender identity are autistic.
I would venture that most people don’t have a gender identity if you ask them because they simply haven’t ever thought about it.

OP, have you ever questioned your gender before or is it simply because of this form that you are questioning it.

@EastWestWhosBest

Autistic people are more likely than neurotypical people to be gender diverse, several studies show, and gender-diverse people are more likely to have autism than are cisgender people

Well yes this is true but it doesn’t follow that most people who don’t have a gender identity are autistic.
I would venture that most people don’t have a gender identity if you ask them because they simply haven’t ever thought about it.

OP, have you ever questioned your gender before or is it simply because of this form that you are questioning it.

I didn't say that most people who don't have a gender identity are autistic ffs! I'm don't believe in gender identify.

A person wirh too much time on their hands.