Not trans, not cis. What am I?

[allaboutthecrisps]

This is a genuine thread. I will try and phrase this well and please only respond on topic. It's hardtm tobhave a respectful conversation about any gender identity topics atm but I feel it's important that we work towards that. So I've been trying to educate myself about gender identity issues. I have read around a little and explored some definitions and descriptors. I have come to the conclusion that I do not have a gender identity. This means I'm not cis as the definition of that relies on my gender identity matching my biological sex. I'm not trans as there's no sense of a mismatch either and whilst I hate my body that's not because of it's sexual characteristics. I could see a category of gender queer but that did not really talk to me either. This came up because I was completing some questionnaires which asked me to report my gender identity. If this is something we're going to be asked to do more often (and I think it is) its important to me to do this in a way which I can actually identify with. There will be people much more informed about these issues than me so can you advise what 'gender identity' someone without a gender identity can report. Ia it perhaps agender or are there other more helpful categories?

Gender is a patriarchal construction designed to subjugate women. I am a woman and a feminist. That’s enough for me. I see gender for what it is, but my sex is defined by my body.

I also don't have a gender identity. I view myself as female and That's it.

I don't believe I need another label.

@HazeyJaneII

If you describe yourself as agender or pangender...do you also accept that you are a woman and female (or a man and male)?

The OP has said that she is a woman and has no problem with that. She is just confused about gender identity.

@GreyhoundG1rl Trans as in 'raised as a girl or a boy but don't feel that label is correct'. Obviously if you reject gender as a concept, rather than as something that applies to you specifically, that wouldn't be relevant.

OP, most questionnaires that ask your gender have a 'prefer not to answer' option.

@OhTheTastyNuts

I think this might be quite common but it's always hard to know what's really happening outside of your own bubble.

As I say this is becoming an issue because of the change in the boxes we are being asked to tick.

Is it perhaps agender or are there other more helpful categories?

Imo there is nothing remotely helpful about categorising human beings into different so-called genders based on how society suposedly thinks those genders ought to dress, behave, present themselves etc. It is a retrograde step. Humans differ by sex, but in the 21st century we should be dismantling the societal and behavioural norms associated with sex, not creating ever more of them, pretending they are liberating rather than constraining, and rebranding them 'gender identities'.

@lazylinguist I'm inclined to agree with you but this is the world we're in right now. I do see myself as female. I used to see myself as a woman but I think I saw woman and adult female as the same thing but that definition seems to have changed. It sounds like ticking 'other' and adding agender might be the best way forward.

I find the need that the trans lobby has to label everyone a joke.

If I am to be defined in the way that they insist that I should be defined, I will be defined by my biological sex, Nor cis not trans or any of the other gender descriptions that they wish to force upon people.

[quote RiaOverTheRainbow]@GreyhoundG1rl Trans as in 'raised as a girl or a boy but don't feel that label is correct'. Obviously if you reject gender as a concept, rather than as something that applies to you specifically, that wouldn't be relevant.

OP, most questionnaires that ask your gender have a 'prefer not to answer' option.[/quote]
Well, op said she feels no dysphoria at all and there's no chance of a mix match - it's quite an incredible reach to suggest she will then come under the "trans umbrella".
Complete nonsense, actually.

As I say this is becoming an issue because of the change in the boxes we are being asked to tick.

OP you are raising a really important question and thinking about it, if I had to tick a box saying GENDER I would also question what that means. Does it mean GENDER - you conform to female stereotypes? If that was the case, I would not tick that because I don't. However, I don't doubt my sex, I'm a woman.

I have always assumed that those people making the questionnaires, don't understand the difference between sex and gender and are asking are you male or female. I have always ticked female because I'm a woman.

On paper forms, I cross out gender and write sex, I find it annoying when on a digital form. If I am asked my gender, I just respond with I don't do gender.

Other than ticking boxes on a form does it really matter?

I do see myself as female. I used to see myself as a woman but I think I saw woman and adult female as the same thing but that definition seems to have changed.

You used to see yourself as a woman, but you no longer do? Honestly, if someone said are you a woman, you'd say no? The definition of a woman hasn't changed. The vast majority of people know full well what a woman is. Some people want that definition to change. Do you think their opinion is more valud than yours? Why are you letting those people make you change who you think you are?

Do you have children, OP? How would you describe them (boy, girl, something else)? How would you describe adults to your dc (that man/woman over there etc)? Words like 'man', 'woman' etc aren't just for filling in forms. They are words in daily use in normal life. Are you intending to stop using them?

Interesting thread.

I've never understood what people mean when they say they identify as a gender because I've never felt that I identify as nor feel like a woman in any way that isn't directly linked to biology (so therefore not gender). If anything, I identify more with a male 'gender' but like OP, have no sex-specific dysphoria although I do have body issues.

Didn't most girls have stages where they wished they were boys? I thought that was a side-effect of a sexist society where people seemed to be constantly telling me what I should be like just because I was a girl.

I think this way too op. I don't have an inner gender identity. Everything has been forced on me by biology or outside issues such as mostly only women's clothes fit my frame.

I just don't care.🤷

You don't have to subscribe to the concept of gender OP. You don't have to identify with any gender, and I would say that actually the only people who identify as any gender are trans people.

You say in your eyes woman and female are the same and that's a perfectly acceptable belief. Why do you feel you have to change what you've always believed?

I definitely wanted to be a boy as a kid because back then you could see quite obviously that they had more opportunities!

@username12345T others on the thread have said they are agender or suggested it as a label for the op - I am just curious as to whether they see themselves as a specific sex or as neither make nor female.

but I think I saw woman and adult female as the same thing...
...it is the same thing.

This is a bit like pondering over what religion you are when you don't believe in God. You don't have to follow any religion, and you don't have to follow the belief that we all have an innate gener identity. Its just one belief set

Yes DishedUp.

@DickKerrLadies

Interesting thread.

I've never understood what people mean when they say they identify as a gender because I've never felt that I identify as nor feel like a woman in any way that isn't directly linked to biology (so therefore not gender). If anything, I identify more with a male 'gender' but like OP, have no sex-specific dysphoria although I do have body issues.

Didn't most girls have stages where they wished they were boys? I thought that was a side-effect of a sexist society where people seemed to be constantly telling me what I should be like just because I was a girl.

I thought that was a side-effect of a sexist society where people seemed to be constantly telling me what I should be like just because I was a girl.

Hell yes - it was the same when I was growing up in the 70s reading books like The Famous Five - No you can't come on this adventure, because you're a girl. You have to stay here and look after our belongings! Who wants to be Anne ffs?

I didn't identify with girl's worlds, glitter and wanting to be neat and tidy. I wanted to climb trees and swim and make camps. Then as I got older, I was suddenly a 'dyke' or a 'butch dyke' because I didn't want to drink Bacardi and coke and dance around my handbag at discos.

I met misogynist men who wanted to break me and show me who was boss, men were very hostile towards me and still are. It's tough when you don't conform and society punishes you for it.

Normal.
HTH.

[quote HazeyJaneII]@username12345T others on the thread have said they are agender or suggested it as a label for the op - I am just curious as to whether they see themselves as a specific sex or as neither make nor female.

but I think I saw woman and adult female as the same thing...
...it is the same thing.[/quote]
So was I which I why I suggested non binary as I thought the OP was questioning her sex.

Everyone I know feels like this. I haven’t met anyone with a “gender identity” apart from two teenagers.
Gender identity is a load of old bollocks imo. There is your sex, and the rest is personality.

@drspouse

Normal. HTH.

Oh, thank God someone actually said this. I do so much tongue biting for fear of being banned 😂