Mumsnet Little Italy 3

[francagoestohollywood]

Welcome everyone

Ciao

Could I please ask all you Italian connoisseurs where I can go on holiday in Italy in August - me, my partner, my two stepsons (13, 11) and my daughter (3).

In 2006 we spent a week on Salina (Hotel Signum) and loved it. Last year we went to Folégandos in the Cyclades and loved it too.

Where can we go in 2008 where there aren't going to be too many people?

Grazie.

mmm, not sure i agree. Lets have this scenario. Ds has friend round. Friend goes to toy box and gets a car out to play with. Ds starts to say 'no, you cannot play with that, mamma, mamma, he is playing with my car'. I normally tell him to leave his friend alone, that he has to share his toy and to play with someone else. Last time he had a tantrum and ruined the game for everybody. Threatened him saying that if doesnt behave he wont' be allowed to have friends round. The thing is we stopped going round to a friend's house, because her ds won't let my ds play with anything at all, and becomeS seriously aggressive! So i do worry that if you don't intervene, children will stop wanting to spend time with non sharing children. Ds doesnt become aggressive, but i really feel that if he is allowed to behave like that, he will push the boundary more and more, and end up becoming violent, etc.
I am going to explain to him more the importnace of sharing, taking turns, he was very good at it until a few weeks ago, I think now he is trying it on to see if he gets away with it. I am thinking of threatening the naugthy chair or something similar if he doesn't share, and put him on it if he doesn't share after a few warnings. In that way I don;t shout. What do you think?

Anna, i never go to Italy in august, it all seems super crowded.
It is true Rosa that you sound very happy now in UK.

ciao Anna,
I need to go and cook dinner now, but I'll be back after dc's bedtime with some ideas......
yes, rosa sounds so happy!

I've been thinking about this Anna, and to be honest, I don't have a clue. We went to an agriturismo in Tuscany this August, which was in the middle of nowhere. We tried to go to the seaside once (a good half an hour drive) and we were shocked by the amount of people at the beach.
Puglia is gorgeous, but again, not in August.
I'm told that San Vito lo Capo in Sicily is beautiful (it's near la Riserva dello Zingaro, marvelous sea), but again, not sure what it's like in August.
The western coast of Sardinia (quite windy though) might be less busy than the rest of the island...
what did you have in mind, btw?

Hothell, I think it depends on the age. I would be firmer with a four yr old than with a 2 yr old. I'd tend to behave like you are describing, but when it's between ds and dd I try to keep quiet and at times they come to an agreement (mainly because dd is very laid back. so I often feel I should "protect" her and I intervene). With friends, ds's always been quite generous, so I haven't developed a strategy to deal with this.

Hard isn't it, to think of Italy in August, if there are places that are less crazily crowded I suspect people would be quiet about them. From what i know Sardinia is very busy, but if you hire a car and are lucky you might find a less busy beach, less busy because harder to reach though.

Ds has a friend round tomorrow and have told him that if he doesn't share as much as he reasonably can (he can slip up here and there), he will go to a naughty chair. He said he will not sit on it, to which i said he will go in time out in his room, poor sod. Apparently he is an angel at other people's houses, but still...Maybe castrating italian mum that I am, I am turning him into a little unpleasant Mussolini.
off to do some ebaying...

maybe it is different between a 2yo and a 4. that's why I felt bad with dd. she's also very good at other people's houses and at childminder. it makes sense though as the things there are not hers ifswim. the way they explained it is that it is their way to develop the sense of property and that at this stage they do not realise that lending it means getting it back. (this is for 2yo so don;t know about 4). having said all this I struggle like you as no one would want to come and it's embarassing and not fun for anyone. I did put dd in time out but it made it worse: the other little girl was worried she might go there too and dd did share in the end but not in a pleasant way, and I felt terrible.
I have no clue how i'll deal with it because until 2 weeks ago she was sharing even her sweets . let me know what works for you.

Re: where to go: my italian friend who love salina for the same reason as you did and do go on holiday in august went to pantelleria.

what do you buy on ebay hothell?

Thank you everybody.

Franca - we also were very shocked at the amount of people at the coast when we were on the Amalfi Coast/Ischia after going to Salina. Horrible. But I don't mind the "middle of nowhere" agriturismo idea if we have a pool (the children need to swim every day) and we abandon the idea of the beach.

Pippi - I will look into Pantelleria, thanks

I have been to Sardinia and, to be honest, I didn't like it very much. Have also been to Sicily but not in summer - will look into San Vito lo Capo.

Never been to Pantelleria, but I'm told it's gorgeous.
I have been to Linosa ten yrs ago, and you don't get as remote as that. Not many people even in August. Beautiful, warm, dramatic sea (not easy access though, think salina), the island is completely walkable. I went camping with friends. ten yrs ago there weren't luxury hotels or anything like that, I don't know whether things have changed in the meantime. But the sea is amazing.
I can CAT you anna if you want and give you the website of the agriturismo. It is beautiful and has a pool (not huge), but rents out bedrooms or 2 bedrooms flats, not sure you can all sleep in one.

Oh yes please Franca, if you could CAT me with a link to the agriturismo that would be great. I've looked at some books already, but personal recommendations are always best .

I don't mind remote/hard to get to if at the end of the journey there is a lovely peaceful holiday. I had never heard of Linosa . However, camping is out so I will look to see if there are any nice hotels there.

have catted you.

Grazie . Will look out for it.

I read your lovely story last night . I'll ask for the book when I go to FNAC later today to buy my DP's Christmas present.

It's one of my most treasured book, all ruined and with nutella stains.
I'm taking dd to gym club now, will be back later. ciao!
hothell what did you do on eaby all night????

I am selling some stuff on ebay, don't buy very often.
I think when he was 2, my ds was on the whole happy to share. When he wasnt happy I would say to him 'it is now x's turn to play with the car, will you please give it to him for a little while. If I told him once, and he didn't do it, I would tell him again but with a firmer voice> If he still didn't do it, I would just say 'ds give the toy to the little girl or i will take it away from you and give it to her'. And if he didn't give it to her (sometimes yes, sometimes no), I would just pry out of his hands and give it to friend. And then do exactly the same thing with the friend. It really worked, and to be honest they hate so much having things taken from them, they automatically give it to the other child. I always emphasised the taking turns with toys concept, rather than sharing, how the hell can you share one toy, cannot exactly split it in 2! Lots of praise as soon as they give the toy.
Will do the same with ds again when he has his friend round later. If I end up having to pry the toy out of his hands, and he has a screaming fit, he will go in time out and that will be that. I am really worried he might become one of those principini egoisti.

Hothell try a timer.. One with a bell or something so he has to give the toy to his friend for 2 minutes or whatever and then give back and he has it for 2 minutes.Make a big do of it and maybe he could set the timer.
I am rinata guys as dd is blooming ( ok so she is happy at home). Today I went shopping alone and dd stayed with Nonna they went to see the cows !! I still havea few presents to get and I might try stopping for a coffee as well next time ! Have said we will do dinner the vigila di natale so Pandoro it is !!Possibly will do fish have not decided yet !

Well, ds behaved like a little angel to his little mate, I explained before the visit what would happen if he behaved like a thug, and he got the message! I always think that with my ds and maybe it is the same with other kids that he has phases of being good and then he rebels, wants to push the boundaries and goes a little mad, and as long as we are firm with him and show him that we dont' allow him to become a bully, he reverts back to a more easygoing self. What a relief!
Rosa you sound soooo happy in the Uk, will you ever be able to come back permanently?
Pippi what is the winter thing in Hyde Park? Sounds interesting!

We def have the same with ds, he is lovely for a stretch of time and then rebels. and the reward chart we did a few weeks ago seemed to work.
I'm exhausted, helped to set up the school's christmas fete, it was lovely though.
My mother went to the "open evening" of what might be (hopefully) ds's new primary in Milan and was very pleased. Speriamo in bene. I'm packing tomorrow. help!

Magari but I don't think work and finances would permit it to be honest. Oh its cold here today. Glad your ds was a good boy lets hope he can keep it up .
Good luck with the packing Franca I do not envy you at all ... Glad that the school looks good its a relief.

Can be upsetting to pack - you will need some wine, cakes, lovely music.

never say never rosa ! does you dh speak English?

Yes he does and not to badly he gets lost when there are lots of conversations going on but he has improved over the years! but Lavoro here would be niente for him !

well not many canals here ... tis true... but he might "reinvent" himself, plenty of people change their career here in England, which I find refreshing .... gosh I'm so tired tonight... have to go and watch the armstrong and miller show on bbc2...

I had another horrible time with dd going to bed. there must be something I do wrong. but what?

hothell could you come and sort us outin a sort of super nanny style?

I am at my wits end!

Pippi, they tend to be rebellious at your dd's age. What time do you start bedtime? has her behavior changed during the day as well?
Lol at hothell coming at your place with her hair in a bun and supernanny's uniform