Is This Fair?

[kid]

I wondered if anyone has any advice to offer. DD (5.9) stays at her nans house every Friday night and stays at her others nans house every Saturday night. The problem is, neither of them will let DS stay even though he gets really upset and asks to stay. DS is 2.7 and is out of nappies day and night. How so I resolve this without seeming spoilt (if you can't have both then you can't have any!) Do I just leave things as they are and try and get DS to understand (even though I don't) or do I put a stop to DD staying out? HELP!

Yes, good luck - and might it be worth sitting your DD down to explain what's going on (that DS is upset and that you want to treat them the same from now on)?

Yes, you'll definitely have some explaining to do to your daughter. Good luck.

So agree with others that have said they should have both, so unfair with ds. We have 2 girls, oldest is 26 months and youngest is 7 months. So far neither of them have stayed at grandparents house without us there, but if they did I would expect them both to go, or if worse comes to worse, one at one grandparents and the other at the other grandparents. Sorry, but in my book both dd's need to be treated identically. Tricky one to resolve but hope you can figure something out.

kid, I know your dd being the 1st grandchild doesn't make her anymore special than ds. What I was saying was that my mil and fil seem to favour ds because he was the 1st and is the only grandson. I don't agree with it at all and have had many argument with dh about it. Good luck.

gl, kid. understand where you are comming from and the fact that the reasons keep changing does make the situation seem unfair. just hope dd doesn't get upset about not going this weekend.
I have the other prob my mum and my dh want me to let ds2 stay over weekend witth ds for our anniv am not so enthusiastic as haven't stayed a night without him. think I'll start a thread and get some advice.

Got DD back a little while ago and she is happily sitting at the table drawing pictures with DS, see they can play nicely together sometimes!
Anyway, I asked DD if she missed her brother and she said yes, thats a good start I think, I have her on my side

This reminds me of something I commented on in another post.
My own experience tell me (and nannies are no different) that Girls are favoured more than boys.
Just something I have sadly noticed in all areas from childcare through to nannies.
Sad because in some cases Boys need more love and attention that girls-in any case they should all be treated fairly.

I reckon you shold alternate them so one weekend on the Friday DD goes to one nans house and DS goes to the other nans on the Friday and then the next weekend they swap.

I would be nipping any kind of fabouritism in the bud kwim?

I reckon you shold alternate them so one weekend on the Friday DD goes to one nans house and DS goes to the other nans on the Friday and then the next weekend they swap.

I would be nipping any kind of fabouritism in the bud kwim?

You kno what I meant right? Its such a bummer you can't edit threads...

i know what you mean

Hi Kid, he can come and stay with me, he's a darling!!!!

thats sweet, I'll drop him off at the same place, same time

Picking up on an ealier post which suggested that perhaps a 2.7 year old is a bit 'too hot to handle' for either of the nans, I don't really agree.... My 73 year old mother looked after my 2.3 year old and 6 month old for 4 days and nights just last month when I accompanied dh on an overseas business trip. As your gut instincts tell you, it just isn't on for them to discriminate between your children in this way. I feel for your poor little ds - bless his little heart.

glad no-one thinks I am just being mean!
Reading all your posts make me want to go upstairs and give my little lad a great big hug , I'll give DD a hug too, better not leave her out!