Swagger Inn 167 - Autumn is here, the days are getting shorter and colder...

[ApricotCrush]

...so the wenches will snuggle down in the Tav with the HBFs maybe.

Morning wenches.

Didn’t seem too bad here but then it’s just gone very dark and is now tipping it down.

DS2 is playing FIFA accompanied by his own commentary, constant chattering. TBH it’s giving me a headache. And now he’s being rude so it won’t be long before it’s switched off.

I’ll phone mother in a bit with the Strictly update.

Probably do some washing later

Morning.

Raining here. meh. I'd rather be in bed still. Or something similar. With HBFs.

I think there's F1 on TV today - that's what we seem to be watching anyway.

^^ and look what I didn't post this morning... Have been in the garden since the rain stopped, hacking things about.

Afternoon, although it looks like night out there. DH isn't happy and I'm not either because the golf courses are closing . They've already got over 100,000 signatures on a petition. To be fair it is safe for two to play because you can keep well apart.

Well this is weird. What are the chances of randomly watching an episode of Lucifer set on Halloween night... on Halloween night? DH didn't think anything of it, but I was freaked out. Not only that but that gif of Lucifer that Helen posted yesterday was in the same episode!

Commiserations on having to watch F1 helen.

I didn't watch Lucifer on halloween because FancyMan was here but we did watch some comedy which was a very nice way to spend an evening.

Have been out in the garden. I decided the reason I find gardening so unappealing at this time of year, apart from the damp, is that it just feels like housework as it's mostly tidying up - trimming hedges & sweeping leaves.

Been binging on two seasons of The Alienist, got to see Luke Evans nekkid, he's really in good shape. Really recommend this series

Oooo at Lucifer Halloween on Halloween! With that gif in it!

The golf thing sounds a pain if it’s stopped Apricot.

Hacking at stuff in the garden sounds fairly menacing Helen

Can I see how that would make gardening unappealing Fancy.

Double date for us Wicked

I’ve been reading today.

SPooooooooooooooooooooooky!!! We are at one with... something or other Apricot

Hacking at gardens mostly involved spikey things (holly bush, rampaging roses, etc.) I'd like housework if it was as satisfying as gardening.

Morning all. It is warm, but windy. Wildlife news is one illing chicken who is indoors in a box (much to the slightly puzzled interest of the cats).

DS has trudged off to the bus and I wasn't allowed to leave the house Or not to go with him anyway - obviously I left the house - feeling the chickens etc.

Today I must.... do stuff. Be productive, not sit around like a lump of lard on the sofa. I'm sure I had something I meant to do but I can't remember what it was. I'm sure you're all dying to know though, so I shall let you know if I do remember.

Morning wenches.

at poorly chicken.

Is MiniHelen stating his independence Helen?

It’s actually sunny here. I have ironing and dishes to do but first I must venture out in a quest for toilet roll. The person —me— didn’t realise there was only one roll left in the cupboard when they —I— changed the roll and didn’t write it in the shopping list.

Morning
We have sun! For a bit anyhow. Hopefully it will stay long enough for FancyMan & I to go for a walk.

@ poorly chicken helen, which one is it?

Hope your sun stays around for longer than mine did Fancy.

Was listening to Radio 4 Extra on my way to the supermarket. There was a play on and I’m thinking well that’s Charles Dance but I can’t place that other voice, it’s really familiar though. Parked up and checked BBC Sounds for what was on and to find the mystery voice identity. It was Tom Burke . What an idiot. Made me laugh anyway.

Toilet rolls successfully purchased although you feel like you have to justify why you’re buying it.

Afternoon. after this morning's early rain and drizzle, it's cleared over and we've had sunshine most of the day - very windy though. We went on a bike ride for lunch and OMG... there was much swearing about the effort required. I don't think I've ever used so many low gears.

Illing chicken is one of the IndistinguishableBrownHens, usually known as 'Small'. She has a 'Pendulous Crop' and needs a 'chicken bra'. Who knew that this was a thing?!

Hurrah for toilet rolls LetUs - I hope you bought up the shop's entire stock - just in case. Also at familiar voice. The would be the Magus? Has Hayley Attwell in it, playing twins I think? Unless that was another actress and she was in Cyrano. Maybe that was Cyrano. Who knows.... I could look it up, but, meh. effort.

Hope that Fancy's has a nice walk and everyone's having a decent day. The thing I'm meant to look at today is my tax return, which I may or may not have started already, back in the mists of time. Or I may be thinking about last year. It's all so confusing.... I was just commenting to Elk that tax returns should come with FAF-related inducements to encourage me to get them done (the return, not the HBF. Though them too, obvs.)

Evening. Nice day here but very windy. I went to town this morning to stock up on stuff.

Shame on you for not recognising TB LetUs. Yes, it would be The Magus.

Oh poor Small, hope she's better soon.

Good luck with the Tax Return Helen.

Hope Fancy enjoyed her walk.

Is WW still engrossed with Luke Evans?

Poor Small. Hope you get her properly measured for her bra.

Think of the strength you’re building in your legs Helen. HBFs will be impressed.

I bought as many toilet rolls as would fit in my boot —so about half a dozen given the other crap that’s still in there—

You are both correct - it was The Magus which I have now downloaded and will listen to in the car. Perhaps I need a stern telling off for being so remiss

I had to google chicken bra, I had no idea such a thing existed. I've seen chicken eyeglasses on a TV show though. Hope she feels better soon.

No filthy dream about Luke Evans unfortunately

Small is wearing the very best in designer chicken bras, constructed from an old sock and two strips of material the highest quality materials. Having bodged carefully created that one to check proof of concept, I really need to make a few more so that can be washed and rotated. She's back in with the others tonight, so hope that goes ok. My plan is to take her out again and she gets food on the basis of little and often to try and stop her stuffing her face so much and putting stress on her crop muscles. Will keep my fingers crossed.

So that's us all educated on yet another aspect of chicken husbandry. (WTF at chicken glasses!) I'm sure that the HBFs would be very impressed. Also got the tax return done. Despite the disappointing lack of HBF-related rewards.

This evening I bought more milk than I needed because I forgot we had 6 pints unopened. I am the cause of any national milk shortages.

LetUs - the HBFs await to give you a stern telling off (Here's a selection of them looking suitably serious.)

Fuck me

That is all

(Well, actually not all, as I’m very impressed by your innovation and skills Helen. Reminds me of the very clever people I was watching on The Big Life Fix, narrated by my lovely Simon. Also well done on the tax return. Athos says he’ll give your figure a good going over )

Chicken glasses, so they don't peck each other to death or something.

WTAF??!?!?!

The intended purposes of chicken eyeglasses were to prevent aggressive pecking, cannibalism, and feather pecking.
My mind is suitably boggling.

Night all.

Maybe you could get her something sexy at Victoria's Secret Helen

at full audit

That chicken reminds me of Gary Oldman’s Dracula. The chicken just needs a top hat. Perhaps if Dracula’s lenses had been red instead of black, he’d have been less bitey.

This makes the chickens in the hi-vis waistcoats look very ordinary

I think I’ll head to the hayloft to be stared at and other stuff.

Well every day is a school day on the internet - who knew some chickens need a bra? just don't take her to M&S for a fitting hope it helps her, poor thing.

Wenches really are most innovative - home-made chicken bras & anti-scratch cat tubes.

Walk was nice - we avoided the showers & didn't get too muddy. FancyMan is relieved that the self-employed help scheme has been extended as he'll be back to having next to bugger all work again from Thursday.

Morning all. dry and less cloudy this morning, but a bit cooler.

Short has survived the night but couldn't get up when I went out this morning One the new new twins then decided to have a right go at her despite me batting her away with some force. Small is now back on the patio, and fully able to stand now that I've got her foot untangled from her bra (not a problem that wenches usually have). I may have to re-think the design for her.

LOL at rose-tinted glasses making dracula less bitey and yes, wenches are very innovative, and able to adapt to many different postions situations with grace and elan. Because we are wenches. And the HBFs are very grateful for that. (As they should be.)

Hurrah for a nice walk and extension to FancyMan's self-employment help.

Today I must follow up on a lead for some work...

Morning wenches.

That sounds positive news re Small.

Excellent that you and FancyMan avoided the showers. Also good that the SE scheme is extended. It must be so worrying.

DS2 not back tomorrow but they should be back today so school have set a full day of remote learning which is brilliant and it’s great that the school are working so hard for the students. However, the chance of DS2 completing all the work all on his own is nil so I’ll have to help him with it when I get home. I’m feeling a bit panicked about it but am keeping all light and calm for him. It’s Oscar-worthy I tell you.