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Original poster

Misconceptions by Naomi Wolf - omg

78 replies

Pruners · 05/10/2007 19:10

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OP posts:
Lulumama · 05/10/2007 19:11

i think she has said everything that is wrong with maternity services everywhere in the western world

and social opinions and prejudices of mothers and fathers

think she hit the nail right on the head

morningpaper · 05/10/2007 19:12

I read this when I was pg with no. 1

I felt it prepared me quite well in some ways

It certainly kept my expectations low

But it made me very aware of the male-female balance and made me quite sure that I was not going to even ATTEMPT certain jobs, so that DH did them instead (e.g. the bath/bedtime routine has been entirely his since birth) - so it stopped me from gatekeeping certain jobs.

Must read it again!

Kathyis6incheshigh · 05/10/2007 19:12

is it good? should I read it?

belgo · 05/10/2007 19:12

do you have a link please?

belgo · 05/10/2007 19:12

oh it's a book, sorry.

Original poster
Pruners · 05/10/2007 19:13

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OP posts:
Lulumama · 05/10/2007 19:14

i read it when pregnant with no 2 with whom i wanted a VBAC and i found so much of what she related rang very true.

Lulumama · 05/10/2007 19:14

for me, i found it really cathartic, as someone much more intelligent and educated and worldly than me, felt exactly the same, and articulated it and therefore endorsed it for me, and made me feel less of a lunatic for feeling how i did after my c.s

morningpaper · 05/10/2007 19:28

Yes i understand that Lulu

It does sort of make it acceptable to feel those things when you read someone SENSIBLE talking about it

I remember very clearly one scene she writes about where she is making a tower of bricks with her child, and her husband says something like "Aah you look so absorbed" and she exploded "I AM OUT OF MY FUCKING MIND WITH BOREDOM!"

That's how I feel pretty much every day

Coolmama · 05/10/2007 19:28

I think she does a great job of tackling all those hidden fears that lurk in the back of your mind - some of it a little "wildly feminist" but she is not known for sitting on the fence, as it were.

Lulumama · 05/10/2007 19:30

yes, MP< and the lady slamming the best dinner service into the dishwasher, when the other women cooed over how lovely it was teh dads played with their babies for 10 minutes !

morningpaper · 05/10/2007 19:33

Oh and the awful wasteland of the children's playground

I SO understand that

I MUST read it again

TheSFXshape · 05/10/2007 19:33

I never read this one but while pregnant I read the Rachel Cusk book which addressed some of my anxieties and made me feel less weird.

I know lots of people find the book depressing but I did not

Original poster
Pruners · 05/10/2007 19:38

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OP posts:
morningpaper · 05/10/2007 19:39

Yes Pruners she articulated that so very well

Tinker · 05/10/2007 19:41

Oh, I want to read thsi now

MeltingandScreamingIcarus · 05/10/2007 19:42

I really enjoyed.

I read it (and various other feminist lit) when preg with dd1. hmmm.

FluffyMummy123 · 05/10/2007 19:42

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MeltingandScreamingIcarus · 05/10/2007 19:44

Enjoyed it.

I was going to say the dishwasher bit too - it totally made me think about my mum and MIL battering stuff about after meals while my dad/fil were blissfully unaware watching the tv/lying down. The supressed venom. Eurgh.

FluffyMummy123 · 05/10/2007 19:46

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Botbot · 05/10/2007 19:47

OK, this is the second time in ten minutes MN has compelled me to hop over to Amazon and buy a book. You lot are going to bankrupt me!

Read and loved The Beauty Myth years ago, before I even thought of having children. Didn't know this one existed...

Might have to walk away from the computer now before I spend any more money!

WideWebWitch · 05/10/2007 19:48

I think if she couldn't get the birth she wanted then there's not much hope for the rest of us. I think it was an inditement of awful over medicalised maternity service in the USA and elsewhere and interesting on the misogyny surrounding pregnancy and childbirth

But I read it a while ago

lulu25 · 05/10/2007 19:52

i thought

  • thank f* i'm not american

  • this shows why market-driven healthcare is a bad thing.

SpookyBearistheSpookyBear · 05/10/2007 19:53

I thought the Naomi Wolf book and the Rachel Cusk book were great after my first DD was born and during my 2nd pregnancy.

I've settled happily into mumhood now, and I find them a bit selfish and cynical in retrospect.

My DD2 has SN, and I now think - whatever it takes to have a healthy baby. I wish I'd been given a CS.

Maybe people who moan about their CS's should think for a moment about the possible alternatives: a disabled, or even dead, baby.

Oops, have started ranting.

oreGOREnianabroad · 05/10/2007 20:02

I read it when pg with ds1, who was born by crash section -- not on my birthplan. I felt so robbed of the positive birth I felt I had been promised by the empowering feminisit lit I had read.
Now that that is behind me, and I had a VBAC (by accident) with ds2, I might revisit some of her points, especially the boredom & dishwasher ones!
I think she could have presented her argument a bit more fairly about CSs, epsecially considering the possible alternatives, as SBitSB mentions.