Misconceptions by Naomi Wolf - omg

[Pruners]

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She separated from the father of her children, I wasn't surprised after reading this.

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I was recommended this book when I was pregnant with dd. It TOTALLY freaked me out. It terrified me and I am not exaggerating I think it contributed somewhat to me really not enjoying my pregnancy. It was the first book I read about pregnancy and motherhood and I really needed something a bit more uplifting.
I could reread it now and I am sure it would mean totally different things to me but then it just scared me. I definitely wouldn't give it to a first time mum.

I'm with Cod, I wasn't all that struck by it, was disappointed as I think "Beauty Myth" is amazing.

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I thought it was a pile of tripe.

Yawn.

What's she moaning about? She wasn't stuck out there, non-English speaking and with no insurance.

fuck off expat and cod, it is a seminal book.

all mothers to be should read it. all fathers to be should read it.

it would help an awful lot if they did.

i can honestly say that the discussions that it prompted between me and my ex have changed ds's life in that he has TWO parents that really really parent him. he is lucky and we both owe a lot to ms wolf for that.

FANTASTIC BOOK.

hard, and quite horrible reading in parts. but fantastic.

fucking hell. freudian slip

i meant me and my dh!!!!

pmsl

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It's just a huge whinge, Pruners, when really she's got utter FA to moan about it.

Cod summed up the entire tome/doorstop rather nicely, IMO.

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Read it while pregnant. I thought a lot of it came across quite badly tbh, though would have to read it again - she sounded entirely humourless. BUT the thing one of the midwives said to her - 'We tell our mothers that they have to summon all their courage and be brave warriors in labour' or words to that effect, actually helped me enormously - one of the 1% of the advice I received that was useful.

My mother was right. 'You know why so many people aren't happy nowadays? They think too goddamned much.'

Took me the better part of 36 years to realise she was right.

Don't need to read Naomi Howl-like-a-Wolf to suss that out.

expat, seriously, have you read it? i know you are a fiminist....she is with the programme in a big way.

she consistently makes the point that things are even worse for women not in her priviledged position.

i thought one of the most interesting bits was about the kind of support and childcare that was available around the war....and then just withdrawn.

Well, I spent 31 years in teh US and if you think her experiences are typical, think again.

That's like saying all women in the UK have a homebirth.

I threw it down in disgust about 3/4 of the way through and ran away screaming, 'Fucking get over yourself, Naomi!'

it's all getting here in the uk. not that different imo and ime.

and information is power.

and you CAN'T THINK TOO MUCH. that has always been a nonsense.

Yes, unfortunately I had to read it for a class, although I basically traded another student my copious lecture notes for her to fill me in in depth of the last quarter of it.

Sorry, but I really don't suffer whingers gladly because for the most part, moaners usually don't have much to gripe about.

Naomi included.

I found it sleep-inducing.

In fact, the other night, when my insomnia had me up AGAIN, I wished I had it or a perhaps a copy of 'We Need to Talk About Kevin'.

Instead I found this copy of 'Celtic Fairytales' I thought would do the trick, but instead I got engrossed and it was close to 4 before I finally went to sleep.

Oh, yes you can think too much, soph. You can over-think yourself into all kinds of strife.

I've done it myself.

I read it the other week, in hospital with ds2. Although it did take me right back to my (high-intervention, not cs) first birth, I didn't identify with the feeling of having been let down - I think I was always going to have a hard first labour. That sounds fatalistic, but I really think I was lucky to have decent, humanising care. I'm also lucky not to identify with the male-female parenting issues, as dh and I have always done things more or less 50/50, due to circumstances. My issue is a different one - I've found it really hard to come to terms with not having been able to be a SAHM with ds1. I do gatekeep, precisely because I desperately want things with dses that are 'my own'.

I do admit there were moments when I felt the whole tone was a bit self-indulgent (not in relation to the CS thing) and slightly irritating.

you think that you can think to much. and you can't sleep.

perhaps if you let yourself 'whinge' and 'think too much' you might get some sleep?

By the time the consultant was called in to intervene in my first birth, I begged her to do a csection to put me out of my misery.

Then I begged the anaesthetist to knock me out.

Didn't feel 'let down' by that at all.

Had DD2 ultra quick, and when I couldn't get drugs and found G&A gave me a panic attack, I was bummed.

I was thinking too much about shit I can't control and that was why I couldn't sleep, soph.

Wish I could 'go with the flow' like DH and DD1, who are both by their nature very, very contented people.

Anyone got a copy of 'Misconceptions' to send me? The phone book is mighty thin in these parts!

Of course, our lovely landlords are still paying for Sky - their contract doesn't run out for another 6 months and they were going to get charged to cancel it.

So that doesn't help because then I wind up flipping channels.

expat - if you are short of reading matter, I have a free review copy of "Kennedy's Brain" by Henning Mankell that needs a home (e-mail is milkfloatquack at yahoo dot co dot uk)

ooh Sophable yes the war bit. Round the clock stable childcare with the ability to pick up a home cooked meal and take it home.

Then the swing back to the great provider and women who were feeling purposeful stuffed back into the home and dependant on whatever their damaged from the war husbands chose to dole out.