Single parents how do you or did you get a place to live for you and your child

[Redruby25]

Just interested to find out how people done it. It might just be myself and son living together, we are currently staying at my parents having been evicted, nothing bad just for overcrowding, yes that's right. Me and sons Dad were in a house share, we had our son whilst there, and did not manage to secure suitable accommodation before time ran out, I had been to the council for assistance and they had originally said they couldn't help until we were evicted, but in the interim they made me a final offer, it is 3 hrs away from where I have always lived and for one reason another a few others, I had to turn it down, as I only got 3 and a half days to decide. My sons father also did not want to move there, and as he is on a visa here and exempt from other things, I think he had every right to tell the council to get lost, the way I saw it was they do not have a right to tell you where to live when you are exempt from other help. Anyway the eviction went ahead, it was private by the way. My parents took us in but not my sons father, not disputing that at all, just mentioning, so he had to go and rent a room near by. For one reason and another we might continue on as we are, i.e me and son, but need to find somewhere to live, not expecting things on a plate, but as you all know it is hard, if I work all week I will spend my salary on childcare, a friend said other women manage it, and have a one bed fat etc for example, but how? Unless you are in a very well paid job, a months salary would be gone on just the rent for a one bed flat in London, and there would be no money after childcare, as it's about £350 a week here. So how do others pay that, then their rent bills food, and other costs, it doesn't Dads up?! Thank you all in advance!

If my parents wouldn't let him stay and we needed somewhere quickly then he had to find somewhere, this will be explained for any gap, but by the time his next application comes around hopefully all of this will be long gone. He also has rights to apply on his own, as plenty have relationship breakdowns etc and as long as that is declared then there is not usually an issue, especially after the long stay he has had here.
The Home Office can not question why your parents wouldn't take you all in, there could be a whole host of reasons.

I’m confused as to why you’re asking about single parents when you’re not a single parent?

Surely a better option would be to move to a cheaper area?

The benefits I refer to are housing benefit and council tax benefit, child tax credits and universal credit.

Just to clarify something, it will be all UC for the OP. There is no more separate housing benefit, council tax benefit or any tax credits for new applicants. It is all UC and this has been true of all UK councils since December, 2018.

So you're not actually a single parent?

Why can you not just move in together and both work?!

Also, where did op say she's 40? She writes like a teenager, I presume she's about 19.

I came back to the uk with nothing but the clothes on my back and my 2 DC. My dad lent me a deposit and we private rented a flat. I got full housing benefit while I was on income support which didn't touch the actual rent as it's an expensive city so had to find the rest out of IS and tax credits. Moving somewhere cheaper wasn't an option as I desperately needed the family support I had in the area

*The benefits I refer to are housing benefit and council tax benefit, child tax credits and universal credit.

Just to clarify something, it will be all UC for the OP. There is no more separate housing benefit, council tax benefit or any tax credits for new applicants. It is all UC and this has been true of all UK councils since December, 2018.*

Irrelevant what the name of the benefit is really, isn't it. It's still a larger amount of benefit income if she presents as a single person.

Selene28, Thank you for such a nice reply, you were just straight forward and to the point, with no nasty bits ha ha. Yes this is the aim, and I agree about the waiting list, it's always sort of just been a side line, as many have mentioned about having been on it a long time, no one knew back then how much things would change. And I am glad you said that about a dodgy area, as that is what the place was, I know nowhere in London is great these days, but there are some really bad parts, and that was one of them!

Why should I count myself lucky that the council didn't come to tell me to pack up and go? It would have been 12 people being asked to leave if they do that, because of a house being let out illegally, and in today's housing crisis it would be very unlikely that the council would do that, as they'd rather see people with a roof over their heads. He didn't sell anything so another irrelevant point

Yes the council would evict you on the spot if they had come round and yes they would evict all 12 residents. Housing crisis or not.

I have no idea where you would get an idea that they wouldn’t.

Again you keep referring to other people and aren’t concentrating on what you need to do.

Get your nose out of other peoples business and concentrate on your own life.

If a family of immigrants moved in 3 doors down and are claiming for 15 children and a disabled granny it really isn’t any of your concern. You are spending too much time analysing everyone else’s situation and not really looking at your own.

Would they? Why is that Oliversmumsarmy

They wouldn't evict on the spot, as there are too many lives to consider and people with children, if you can tell me based on what evidence, that they have done that before, I will be glad to know, thanks.

If a property breaks regulations there is a process. If the LL doesn't fix the problems. There is a process. If the house is not up to standards they will follow the process. No ands, if or buts.

They won't care or even register the housing crisis. That's not their job. They have a very specific job that goes by the book.
End of.

If a property is dangerous and unfit for human habitation then of course they would immediately condemn the property. They wouldn't have to consider the inconvenience. Emergency accommodation would be provided but they wouldn't allow people to live dangerously at all.

It is a risk they knew that since last year and more recently this year they've been to see it and have done nothing. It is a severe risk when 12 people are cooking and there are no fire safety measures in place, I can guarantee you they do not come running around and close it down. As just like the reason it takes so long on the housing register, and with everything else being short, they do not have the staff or time to process things efficiently. The inspectors words to me were, as he went on annual leave he hadn't even started on the case 🤣 So I don't know what part of the country those of you live who think the council will run around and put 12 of us in emergency accommodation, they try with all they have to avoid anyone having to go in to emergency accommodation, it would not be for them to house people because of a Landlords huge incompetence, it is the Ll who would have to deal with that. That is why he moved the people from the shed in to the actual house where normal people live, because he felt bad to know that otherwise he would have to of kicked them out, when they should never of been in the shed.

Why haven't you ever answered any of the relevant questions posters have asked to try and assist your unsuitable circumstances?

Well I have rather sparingly I guess, can we start again

I know you'll all most likely scream what is she wanting to know now, considering how the original question went, but I just wondered with you knowing the current set up, what do you consider reasonable in terms of father coming over to see child etc, remembering of course we are in separate places at the mo, not far at all, and that the fact parents wouldn't have him here means he would not sit around theirs too often. Thank you in advance.

Is he allowed in your house at all?

What is your parents reasoning for not having him over?

Yes he is allowed, I just think and know it was too much for them being the time of life they are at. And plus at one point they thought we might get temp accommodation or something if the worst came to the worst (prior to that offer of course) and it might have been sons father who was left out, if for example he wasn't entitled because of visa. And they wouldn't of had him here on his own, just because they have every right not to have to. And my Dads view if you were to actually focus just on this point would be if you are all under separate roofs then that is your doing, which he is right of course. But as it is the way it is, until something can be sorted, I acknowledge and wouldn't expect how our old home life was, to carry on whilst like this, and for some reasons that's not a bad thing. I just think it then means it ends up being a bit like when parents are separated in terms of the one without the child in their full time care, not seeing the child all the time.

I moved away from family to an area o could afford to live. Sorry but that's the decisions you have to make

They wouldn't evict on the spot, as there are too many lives to consider and people with children, if you can tell me based on what evidence, that they have done that before, I will be glad to know, thanks

Apart from the fact there are departments who are employed to check on illegal HMOs There are fly on the wall programmes that follow these officers around and evict tenants on the spot.

Oliversmumsarmy Where? I have never heard of that happening, at the least it was two weeks the tenants were given. There might be departments employed to check on illegal HMO's, they certainly don't work if that's the case, as that situation has been going on years, including one house right opposite. Years ago it was very different but you are talking about a Labour run council in an area that cannot cope with the demands.

Slim landlords and nightmare tenants believe it's on channel 5

stilldoesntknowwhatshappening

Thanks for that.
Couldn’t think of the programme.

Hi OP, sorry you’ve had a lot of grief on this thread. I’ve noticed social housing/assistance tends to be a contentious issue on here.

I’m not in the UK but used to be a support worker for families trying to access housing and I have also worked for government as our equivalent of a council housing officer so I do have some idea of the difficulties in navigating family relationships and the stresses of insecure housing. I appreciate that when resources are so scarce it can be infuriating to see them being allocated in a way that seems unfair and I also know first hand that a small minority of people do commit fraud.

If I was talking to a friend in your situation I would advise you to determine how your relationship is really going. Was he pulling his weight with the baby, being proactive in searching for housing? Now you have a new baby and are not working does he share his money with you? I ask this because 1. I have worked with a lot of families where the man is from a more traditional culture and views his money as ‘his’, which makes saving a rental deposit or paying rent difficult once you have a child; and 2. You asked the question about accessing housing as a single parent which makes me wonder if you yourself have some doubts about things (please correct me if I have misread this).

If you want to proceed as a couple then you need to work out your income (including any benefits) as a couple and from there determine what you can afford and where you can realistically manage to live. I wouldn’t want to move three hours from my support network either but you might be able to afford a large studio or one bed flat somewhere with reasonable public transport links to your parents.

If you have any doubts about moving in with your partner I would stay exactly where you are right now, claim benefits as a single mother and do my utmost to improve my earning capacity. What jobs did you do prior to having the baby? Have you got any qualifications?