Single parents how do you or did you get a place to live for you and your child

[Redruby25]

Just interested to find out how people done it. It might just be myself and son living together, we are currently staying at my parents having been evicted, nothing bad just for overcrowding, yes that's right. Me and sons Dad were in a house share, we had our son whilst there, and did not manage to secure suitable accommodation before time ran out, I had been to the council for assistance and they had originally said they couldn't help until we were evicted, but in the interim they made me a final offer, it is 3 hrs away from where I have always lived and for one reason another a few others, I had to turn it down, as I only got 3 and a half days to decide. My sons father also did not want to move there, and as he is on a visa here and exempt from other things, I think he had every right to tell the council to get lost, the way I saw it was they do not have a right to tell you where to live when you are exempt from other help. Anyway the eviction went ahead, it was private by the way. My parents took us in but not my sons father, not disputing that at all, just mentioning, so he had to go and rent a room near by. For one reason and another we might continue on as we are, i.e me and son, but need to find somewhere to live, not expecting things on a plate, but as you all know it is hard, if I work all week I will spend my salary on childcare, a friend said other women manage it, and have a one bed fat etc for example, but how? Unless you are in a very well paid job, a months salary would be gone on just the rent for a one bed flat in London, and there would be no money after childcare, as it's about £350 a week here. So how do others pay that, then their rent bills food, and other costs, it doesn't Dads up?! Thank you all in advance!

TheWinterCaillech I know there are lots of couples who need the same help. I am talking about if a partner doesn't pull their weight. There are plenty of people who post about that, it happens. Actually there are some who are single parents who do better, like the ones I mentioned, which is the only reason I did.
Aside from all the other waffle I put in my initial post, it was just to get some advice on what others are doing. Not to criticise or be overly criticised.
Also I have to reiterate that the council's offer was not their property and was private, no one was giving anything away. The cost of the flat was the same as the rest out there.

So, why move out of your parents’ house? They can help with the baby, presumably aren’t charging you full market rent and if you are almost 40, they may soon be of an age where they’d appreciate your support of them.
It’s probably your best option. You say your partner is on a visa. Student? Working? Skilled labour?
Does he have the right to remain indefinitely, or could you end up having to move with him back to his country if you want to stay a couple?

private renting a 1 bed flat for me and my son. its costing 1/2 my monthly wage without any bills included.
no benefits received apart from child benefit

It's quite simple really single parents who receive benefits either find a private let with a landlord who will accept a tenant on benefits or they accept what the council offer - as for the childcare if they qualify they receive help with that.

However, from what you say you are only living apart from your partner as your parents have refused to allow him to live with them so technically you are not a single parent & he should be contributing & helping to find a suitable place for you all to live together.

You are more than likely going to have to go private.
You are more than likely in this case going to have to leave London.
Not many LL accept UC and as you say you are only just covering childcare.

How much is the father contributing?
At present you only need a 1 bedroom. Presumably there won't be anymore children in the foreseeable so you can have the living room to sleep and the child can have the room.
This will be a lot cheaper.

I’m a single mum. I scraped together a deposit then found a job - 60 miles away. Found a (grotty) one bed flat and a childminder as close to work as possible.

It was very tight but doable. No support from my ex or the council.

Use this time at your parents to save a deposit. And move somewhere you can afford, to begin with at least. Work your way up from there.

TheWinterCaillech Well I mean at some point, I guess just because it's what suits both parties, and of that some don't think it's right us here, and sons father elsewhere etc.
Sons father is on a Leave to remain visa, not his first one, it is one of those for unmarried couples, with a partner who is British and settled in the UK, which is me of course.
No I definitely wouldn't relocate to his country, it would be hopeless, the reason he and tons of young men continue to come to the UK, not much work not enough money, I know the UK has its problems but it's different here.

I private rented a 2bed flat for a number of years. At one point I did pay more in childcare than I did in rent. But, with my wages, tax credits and some housing benefit it was doable. Then my DD started school so I no longer needed the full time childcare.

I also had my name down on the local authority housing register and I moved into a LA property 2 years ago.

My sons father also did not want to move there, and as he is on a visa here and exempt from other things, I think he had every right to tell the council to get lost, the way I saw it was they do not have a right to tell you where to live when you are exempt from other help.

I am not frothing about immigrants ha ha, I asked for a bit of assistance and it's a hanging offence, but all of that is really going on, yes I asked for help, they don't the ones I am referring to, what they are doing is fraud, as they are lying that they are a single parent, and claiming false rights to be here, and to obtain money by, and all the while enjoying their partner's wages which are tax free as the partners have no right to be in the UK.

You need to read back what you've written, along with the vitriol you're directing at other posters!
You lived in a house share with a non British person who does not have leave to remain in the country, became pregnant knowing that you'd not be able to stay in the house, got evicted as you broke the rules of your tenancy, expected the council to provide you with a flat and seem to know a great deal about how other people also try to screw the system.
You've now learned that you have very limited choices about where you can live. Having turned down the flat you were offered, you won't get another offer. If you lived near me, you'd be able to rent a 2 bed house for £500 a month, full time nursery would be around £200 a week and there's lots of jobs to be had.
You're either going to have to move out of London, or continue living with your mum, or you and your partner get a flat together and suck it up!

Soontobe60 Let me clear up a few things. We rented our room in a shared house, lots of couples or singles do that right across the country, as HMO's have been going on since how long ago.
My father's son does and did have leave to remain in the country, hence me mentioning the visa, which is in the part you copied and pasted to your comment. So where have I put throughout the whole post that he does not have leave to remain in the country?! The whole reason we waited to do things that we wanted to, was so that he was legally set up here etc.
We did not break the rules of our tenancy, the landlord decided after many years to be nasty and do what he did, he is illegally in the country this has been reported and nothing done, and does not have a licence for the property, there were no rules there. He let the shed out for many years at £650 a month to a couple who decided to have a baby in there, please put the tissues away, they are fraudsters too. We broke no rules of our tenancy, what rules are you referring to?! The council told him we were overcrowded prior to baby, and we have done nothing wrong, as if we chose to live in a small room that was our choice, he says for how many years stated on court paperwork that he told me to go and that my partner only had a 6 month AST for 6 months dating back to 2010 🤣🤣 the judge laughed at him and his solicitor, as everyone questioned why he didn't evict him all those years ago. He said I was a 'lodger' and he did not know I was there, but was accepting rent from my own personal bank account for many years. Please as you do not know the case don't make yourself look so ignorant. I didn't expect the council to provide me with a flat.
Are you now going to condemn the whole of the UK who live in council accommodation, as I'm assuming you know plenty do, as in lifelong homes or now longer tenancies?!
I am open minded about the rental opportunities etc that are around and work etc, would you mind even just saying the area or part of the country Thankyou.

I think he had every right to tell the council to get lost, the way I saw it was they do not have a right to tell you where to live when you are exempt from other help.

Of course they dont 'have a right' to tell you where to live. But that's not what they did. They offered you a property. You turned it down. They don't have to house you wherever you want.

Many many single parents (myself included) manage because we have to. We do without many things that we want/need. For example I havent had a haircut for 3 years. I I remember the last time I went to get my nails done. I rarely eat out and takeaways are a treat. Many of those will have moved away from their family (luckily not me). And there will be some who tell you they aren't claiming any benefits when they are. Either because of the stigma attached to claiming, or because whatever they claim they dont see as being 'benefits'. My brother and his wife for example say they don't claim anything because they don't view tax credits as a benefit.

My childcare costs are very very minimal because I'm lucky enough that my mum provides childcare 'at cost'. So I pay £x for every journey she makes for the school run and £y for every meal she provides. These amounts were pre agreed based on how much we spend on average making a meal etc. The school run value is re-calculated every few months depending on petrol prices.

@Redruby25

The part I quoted does not state your dp has Leave to Remain status, it just says he has a visa but with restrictions. I know from my work that L2R means there are no restrictions. Does he have limited L2R ? That would explain the limitations.
You also said you were evicted
staying at my parents having been evicted, nothing bad just for overcrowding, yes that's right. Me and sons Dad were in a house share, we had our son whilst there, and did not manage to secure suitable accommodation before time ran out, I had been to the council for assistance and they had originally said they couldn't help until we were evicted, but in the interim they made me a final offer, it is 3 hrs away from where I have always lived and for one reason another a few others, I had to turn it down, as I only got 3 and a half days to decide. My sons father also did not want to move there, and as he is on a visa here and exempt from other things, I think he had every right to tell the council to get lost
Eviction is a legal process, and to be evicted you have got to be given notice to leave. If your landlord was as bad as you say, and in the country illegally, how did the courts not notice that and have him removed from the UK? He may have been a shitty landlord but I doubt very much he is here illegally. He wouldn't be able to have a bank account for a start!
As for not expecting the council to provide you with a flat, of course you did! You went to the council, told them you're pregnant and living in a single room, were offered a flat out of the area and turned it down. As far as I'm aware, councils don't just randomly give flats to anyone who happens to be passing.
You sound very entitled, and need to read all of your posts carefully before you start arguing with other posters.

Soontobe60 You did mention me being with someone not allowed to be here, that was not the case.
I know eviction is a legal process, the landlord was lucky enough to find someone willing to take his case on, he could not issue a section 21 because he does not have a licence for the house. Ha ha if you know a lot about visa's etc, people have lied for years. He said he was from elsewhere, people then have different names blah de blah. That's how he has a bank account. Also people even if they can't open one, use other peoples, if again you know so much you would know how the god knows how many still work illegally get paid and use bank accounts 🤦‍♀️ there was also such a bank years ago who did ask for a passport I assume that has changed since I hope.

I was on the housing register from many many years before, I did not go to live there and get pregnant and run back to the council, they knew when I moved where I was living as you have to update your details once a year, back then you certainly did. And I was there for many years beforehand. I did not go to them and they magically produced a flat, the whole case went on for a very long time, and way before the eviction process started. When I was given notice you are told not to leave as if you do the council will find you intentionally homeless, as until a bailiff attends you have every right to remain in the property.

I have paper proof of what discussions went on at the council before they offered that out, which they asked me to sign a tenancy outright, which is a breach of the rules, and it had been assumed that I was on Housing Benefit which is why it was offered 😂😂 As those who are offered these places are usually on HB, that came from the property managements mouth not mine. People need to look a bit closer as to what the Council's are doing than accusing me and others of expecting the 'taxpayer' to fund me!

Soontobe60 Limited Leave or Leave to remain, both still entitle the person to be in the UK, you stated in your first reply that I lived with someone who did not have leave to remain in the country, whichever Leave he had at the time, he was legally here.

Just keep going back, they can only offer a place put of area as temporary and sadly you will not have a choice until you are offered a permanent place for your needs. Ignore some of the harsh comments about why didn’t you think of it before having the child or live with your family. You need to keep going back like everyone else wether on benefits or not doesn’t matter.

HopeforChildren Thank you for that, no this was not temporary this was thank you good bye, hence why I have mentioned them wanting to get who they can out of the area. Then once your tenancy is over at that place you are up the creek without a paddle, who the council should let me speak to is those who had that flat before they offered it to me lol, if it is a home for life as they tried to make us feel, then what happened to the last idiots they got in there!
Yeah I feel many have been really harsh about having one child, and telling me not to include others in my rant, I will, as it is very relevant, of course they can not deal with that, as it's me who has posted so they are trying to address my initial questions etc. But these are some of the people who are obviously happy to fund those who are obviously more entitled than me, as I have been accused of seeming to feel entitled. Who have 3/4 kids, like the couple I mentioned who were at the council office when I went there. Oh I can only imagine what I would of had said on here if I'd had 3 kids like them me and partner unemployed on full benefits being paid for in emergency accommodation, they were also evicted so must have done something 'wrong'.
We were in a room in a house share, not unheard of, I dare say we all have times where we fail to plan certain things, we just thought we would find our own place before baby was born, we were unsuccessful. I'm sorry if I wasn't willing to look up North etc. And I worked since leaving school, should I have aborted my child because it was looking unlikely that I might not leave the room before they were born?! If anyone can live like we had to and think I done it to get something, you go and try it! To be pregnant and then have an emergency c section and be let out at midnight from hospital and come home with your new baby knackered needing the space private room and freedom and not have it, and hope that the baby wouldn't start crying too much so as to not disturb others, then them all realising I'd had a baby, I felt ashamed when it should have been the happiest day of my life.
It wasn't easy, the landlord will I hope suffer for certain things, especially as he made accusations about us, to cover his own mistakes, which he had no evidence of what he wanted to be granted possession for, and the judge told him it doesn't work like that, he told his solicitor to get the paperwork in order, because my file was loaded with evidence. So he dropped everything else. The only blessing is by him winning on discretionary grounds he done us a favour, cause we got out of that place. He said he feared for our sins health and safety because of us, when he knew it was quite the contrary as he has no licence, no fire safety precautions in place, no electrical certificate no gas safety certificates, boiler never checked since it was changed, smokers all over the house. Even when someone came who was a member of authority, they asked if the landlord had to produce evidence of who the tenants were would he have it, the answer was no.

When you say you have to keep going back, going back to where? And you said like everyone else? Sorry can you explain a bit more

Mine is council, I had been on the waiting list since I was 18, never needed one before. It still took me 6 months to get somewhere with 26 years waiting time.

Nat6999 Wait, so you waited 26 years for a council place? And people are slating me

Then once your tenancy is over at that place you are up the creek without a paddle, who the council should let me speak to is those who had that flat before they offered it to me lol, if it is a home for life as they tried to make us feel, then what happened to the last idiots they got in there!

You do realise that people move out of council properties for a variety of reasons - perhaps they've moved to a bigger property, moved in with a partner, moved out of the area for work, saved & bought their own house - not everyone gets a council house & are carried out of it in a wooden box (although that is also a possible reason why the property you were offered may have become available).

I came on to tell you how I did it (worked while living at my dms, saved a deposit and a months rent, rented a small house for me and dd and paid rent with a combination of wages and wtc) but I live in a cheap area in the north.

The reality is that if you live in London you can't afford your own place unless you have either 2 incomes or a very well paid job. There just isn't the housing stock to help everyone.

So your choices are stay where you are at your parents, get a job and save up and improve your income or rent somewhere with your dp and both work, probably ft.

Or move out of London. Sheffield as a pp mentioned is much cheaper and only a couple of hours away from London on the train. There are jobs oop north, houses are affordable and sometimes the locals might even speak to you.

They are your choices. No good whining about what other people may or may not get. Tis what it tis.

You in hounslow by any chance? They usually offer private accommodation in Birmingham

I think you are getting a bit too bogged down in what other people are/are not entitled to. I also agree with other posters that your tone is a bit hostile and might not be doing you any favours - if I were a council housing worker, estate agent or landlord I would follow the rules but wouldn't feel very inclined to put myself out for you. Perhaps try a different approach.

Some different ideas:

Could you train for/do a job that might be entitled to residential accommodation? School caretaker comes to mind.

Could your parents move house to a different/cheaper part of the UK?

Could you at least begin considering the areas that are on major A roads or transport routes out from your parents' part of London? If you rent somewhere cheaper for a couple of years you might then have local ties to apply for council housing.

Oh my goodness, the place they offered me was NOT a council property! I have said that quite a few times!

It might not be a council property but it was offered by the council.

On a genuinely serious note, stop being so defensive and you might get some half decent advice

We have no idea what the OP’s job skills are, and to blithely suggest school caretaker as an option because it might have accommodation attached shows little understanding of the sheer range of practical, independent and managerial skills required for such a job.