Single parents how do you or did you get a place to live for you and your child

[Redruby25]

Just interested to find out how people done it. It might just be myself and son living together, we are currently staying at my parents having been evicted, nothing bad just for overcrowding, yes that's right. Me and sons Dad were in a house share, we had our son whilst there, and did not manage to secure suitable accommodation before time ran out, I had been to the council for assistance and they had originally said they couldn't help until we were evicted, but in the interim they made me a final offer, it is 3 hrs away from where I have always lived and for one reason another a few others, I had to turn it down, as I only got 3 and a half days to decide. My sons father also did not want to move there, and as he is on a visa here and exempt from other things, I think he had every right to tell the council to get lost, the way I saw it was they do not have a right to tell you where to live when you are exempt from other help. Anyway the eviction went ahead, it was private by the way. My parents took us in but not my sons father, not disputing that at all, just mentioning, so he had to go and rent a room near by. For one reason and another we might continue on as we are, i.e me and son, but need to find somewhere to live, not expecting things on a plate, but as you all know it is hard, if I work all week I will spend my salary on childcare, a friend said other women manage it, and have a one bed fat etc for example, but how? Unless you are in a very well paid job, a months salary would be gone on just the rent for a one bed flat in London, and there would be no money after childcare, as it's about £350 a week here. So how do others pay that, then their rent bills food, and other costs, it doesn't Dads up?! Thank you all in advance!

We have no idea because she fails to engage with posts asking for more information. Instead she just goes on tirades about completely unrelated matters including every Tom, Dick and Harry who walks into the council.

One of my friends was in exactly your position.

She was offered a flat up north.

She took it.

She was quite wary about the area but said it was one of the friendliest places she had ever lived. Everyone chatted to everyone else.

She was there for about 5 years before doing a swap with someone from an area just outside of London so she could be closer to family.

to blithely suggest school caretaker as an option because it might have accommodation attached shows little understanding of the sheer range of practical, independent and managerial skills required for such a job

I did use the phrase 'train for' .
There is nothing wrong with thinking about alternative routes and looking towards the longer term.

Oh and by the way I have worked with many school caretakers. Yes, they had site management/facilities skills and they are popular roles (due to the attached accommodation!), but I hardly think it's out of the question for the OP.

RedRuby25 I put my name down on the council waiting list as a teenager, but never really wanted or needed one, I always renewed my application & gained waiting time, it was useful when I finally did need one. I would recommend to anyone, always have your name on the housing list, even if you think you will never need it, because if the worst happens it is useful. As soon as my ds is 18 I will make sure he puts his name down as an insurance for him.

Oh my goodness, the place they offered me was NOT a council property! I have said that quite a few times!

Yes, that's common because they don't have any council properties to offer. In London, people are housed in temp private and then offered a private let by the council because there are no council properties available.

MaybeDoctor she’s nearly 40 with a baby. What’s she been doing for the last 20 years?
I think she’d be better working on improving her salary in the area she’s been working in for the last two decades, retraining whilst parenting is heavy going.

Also I have to reiterate that the council's offer was not their property and was private, no one was giving anything away. The cost of the flat was the same as the rest out there

I don’t think you understand how the system works.

The council offered you a place.

It was never in all likelihood going to be a council property as they are few and far between.

You turned it down.

They won’t offer again. As far as the council is concerned they have done their job

What exactly were you expecting?

As for people coming in from different countries. As they are classified as homeless they go to the top of the list as opposed to you and your dh living between your parents and a flat.

You have a roof over your head.

What exactly were you expecting?

A council flat in London.

*What exactly were you expecting?

A council flat in London*

And the streets to be paved with gold

Exactly, Oliver, in a nice area, hence all that guff about how what was offered wasn't good enough and immigrants and stuff. You're nearly 40! You and your child's father need to get over your vast sense of entitlement and be adults and provide for your child without expecting the state to front you a home.

@TheWinterCaillech

If she already has twenty years of experience in an area of employment that offers opportunities for promotion then that is good news and no further input is needed. However, if it isn’t the case then her situation might need a radical re-think, because waiting for social housing in London is clearly going to take a while...

I was very clear in my post that I was giving ‘different’ ideas, so there is no need to jump all over one suggestion. For what it’s like worth, she could also go and be a live-in nanny or look at other work that comes with tied accommodation.

Where did I tell anyone I am nearly 40? I find that disrespectful that one particular poster has highlighted that, and talking about me like you know me.
As for some of the other comments, you are the sort of PC people in society who seem to support those you really shouldn't. Who arrived here homeless? What those who had a home back home? What?! If someone here leaves a home they could have stayed in, you would be found intentionally homeless. They do not jump to top of the list because of that. No one has a 'flat' which has also been mentioned in someone's reply. You seem quite happy and comfortable that all these other things are going on around you but you don't care, the 'self entitled British person' is terrible for having a baby, one child, and asking for assistance. Somehow trying to back track on it indeed not being social housing that was offered. I did not say that I expected it to be. Knowing what the housing crisis is like these days. How do you know it was in a nice area the place that was offered, let me tell you now that particular area was built up years ago and was done for a reason. No I did not expect a council flat in a London, those who are higher up will get those. Some of you obviously agree that those who come to the UK should get higher priority, on what basis? Aww are you going to start all the 'they come from war torn countries' they don't from my partners country. And they all have kids here for free, so why am I being singled out for having one child, are you saying I should have aborted the only child I will ever have, there are some really nasty individuals.

What were expecting of the council then, if you now say you didn't expect to be housed in a low-rent property in London? It's not forthcoming no matter how hard done by you feel. You chose to have a child, you and its father will need to support it. What happens to others is neither here nor there. It doesn't apply to you so it would be far more products to focus on how you can best support your child.

Wow. Just. Wow.

You're in this position because of your own terrible decisions.
So work. Get paid. And sort your crap out.

You and your partner planning to live separately so you can claim single parent benefits? You aren't a single parent, you're a couple. Just privately rent somewhere together.

If you inflict council employees to the same level of verbal incoherent rambling as you are typing here then I'm not surprised that they won't help you.

It's guaranteed when they see you approach that they draw straws to see whose turn it is to deal with you.

You've been given advice & people have given examples of how they have managed as single parents although you are not one none of which have been that they just rocked up to the council office, showed them a child & were handed over the keys to a low rent fully furnished 2 bed property in a decent area but you seem to think that this is how you should be treated.

You chose to have a child knowing that your current home was not suitable & that you'd be asked to leave, you must also have known that your parents wouldn't take in your partner when this happened & yet still went ahead - really you should have sorted out a new home before making the decision to have a child - now you'll just have to work with what you have & use the opportunity to save as much as possible so that you can afford a home of your own.

As for your comments about other people you see at the council office being from other countries - does the man from another country you have chosen to have a child with know that you are so xenophobic?

I find your obvious hate for immigrants bizarre considering you've had a baby with one.

What exactly are you expecting? There aren't enough council houses in many areas (London and the SE at least. I don't know about up North) so the councils usually have a list of properties that will accept HB/deposit guarantee. I was on the verge of accepting such a property from my local council which I didnt like. It had a shitty layout and hideous decor. Plus was miles away from where i "wanted" to be.

Luckily for me I found my own private rent within the time scale I needed. However I am very grateful that the council offered me anything at all. (Classed as intentionally homeless as then DP hadn't paid the rent - I wasn't aware of this and we split not long after)

I had to live with my parents for 7 years basically. I saved a lot of money during that time. The belt tightening made me gasp gor air!! I eventually got my own place though. I lived very very frugally for a long time. Not every single parent can live with their parent though. I could be living in rented accomm unable to save worrying about landlord putting up rent so i feel very lucky.

conduitoffortune what are these "single parent benefits" of which you speak? You do know there's no such thing right?
To OP - I manage by working full time in a reasonably well paid job and pay a mortgage every month. I didn't have a child until I could afford to.

Wow. Honesty. I have very few words for you.
If you’re anything like this when you go into the council office then I totally understand why they wouldn’t want anything to do with you.
You would do my absolute head in. It’s painful just to read your response.

^^^ This, spot on.

NatashAlianovaRomanova Do you work for the council that I applied to? You seem to know a lot about my case? There are details there that only someone with that knowledge would know?
If you have read anything properly you would know, I did not 'rock' up to the council office and get any of what you say, and not the way you say it happened.
We did not have a child knowing that our home was unsuitable and we would be asked to leave. How many posts on here alone, do you get where people need to move etc, okay they might of had their own self contained accommodation, but too small for their needs, the plan was to move before baby was born, this did not happen, not through lack of trying etc.
There are lots of people who have had children and it might not of been the ideal time, or situation, some really bad situations. I could not wait forever as my age is already known apparently.

Also there were no keys handed over, you still go through an affordability check first. The rent was the same as other flats and it was not in a nice area, if all of what you said in your opinion means that if those points were correct, then it was right to take the offer, then if the facts are different, do we have your blessing that it was okay to refuse?!

You know very little about the accommodation I was in, unless you have researched that too.

No I know how to speak to those at the council, and when you go in as a taxpayer and they say 'we need to protect taxpayers money' so can't help, that is so condescending! And insulting

conduitoffortune No not at all, I was asking for other reasons