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Original poster

Just wanted to say sorry for wasting everyones time :(

80 replies

nutcracker · 21/09/2004 19:52

O.k confession time. I didn't go to college today and i've decided not to go at all.

Just wanted to apologise for wasting everyones time really as loads of people gave me great advice and encouragement but in the end i just couldn't do it.
Part of me wasn't sure i was doing the right thing, and i need to be sure as i don't want to start and end up dropping out again, already feel like a great big failiure as it is.

My mom had said that i needed to be sure and she was right (aren't they always).

I feel terrible for asking for advice and then not following it, but i did listen to everything that you all said and i did try honest.

I have a big problem with my confidence at the mo, which is something i need to sort out i know as it seems to be getting worse not better. Not sure how you sort out things like that but i'll have to try and find a way.

I wouldn't blame anyone who read a thread of mine in future and decided not to waste their time, after all i wasted yours.

I think i am depressed and probably have been for some time. I've said before that I think i expected all my probs to dissapear when we got the house, but i was wrong. I've found it harder than i thought to settle in and have the constant feeling that it's all suddenly going to fall apart, and that certain people on the estate have got it in for us. I keep thinking i'm going to come home to find we've been burgled, or the house has been trashed or something.

Anyway sorry for waffling, just felt i should apologise and explain.
Will go now before i start blubbing.

Nutty xxxx

OP posts:

Twiglett · 21/09/2004 19:56

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ks · 21/09/2004 19:56

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charliecat · 21/09/2004 19:57

Nutty Dont cry! I have nearly been to college 3 times and never quite got there, I now get paid less the qualified staff but it really does suit me fine.
Maybe once you feel better yourself you will look bacjk at the thread and take all the great advice given and the fact you were going to have to leave your ds somewhere that looked much less than suitable must have accounted for your decision.
Dont blame you BTW!
I hope you settle down in your lovely house soonxx

Rowlers · 21/09/2004 19:57

Sorry Nutty, not been part of your previous threads. Don't feel guilty or feel you've wasted people's time. What the hell do people come on here for?!?! To chat, discuss, help out etc. So you tried and it didn't work out. You gave it lots of thought and have made the decision which suits you. Well done for knowing your mind!
I hope you're feeling brighter soon. It won't take long for something nice to happen to put a smile on your face.

Yorkiegirl · 21/09/2004 19:59

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anorak · 21/09/2004 19:59

nutty, everyone on mn loves you and knows you're not a time-waster!

Chinchilla · 21/09/2004 19:59

Nutty - poor you

Your mum was right, if you had gone to college when you weren't ready, you would have given up, and then you would have blamed yourself even more. Don't beat yourself up about things, and try to give yourself some 'me-time'.

misdee · 21/09/2004 20:00

u havent wasted our time at all. u have to be 100% happy with your decision. i'd love to study but know i cant do it atm, so wouldnt feel comfortbale doing it iykwim.

Original poster

nutcracker · 21/09/2004 20:02

Thanks all, don't deserve it though

OP posts:

Mirage · 21/09/2004 20:02

Nutcracker-I can totally understand how you feel.You do sound depressed to me-it can affect your confidence terribly.

On my worst days,I had the same fears about coming home to my house as you do.I was convinced that someone would do something to the house while I wasn't there.

Can you have a chat to your GP about how you feel?

You are young & can always go to college in the future.I went back at 32 & changed my career totally afterwards.Its never too late.

tamum · 21/09/2004 20:02

Oh nutty, bless you. I don't know about anyone else but such little advice as I've given has been given gladly and freely, and not only on condition that you follow it! Please don't go, and please don't worry, your mum is right. I'm so sorry you're finding things so tough at the moment; I agree with the others that you do sound depressed. Whatever you do, don't leave mumsnet

Miaou · 21/09/2004 20:03

Nutty, don't worry about not starting the course. And DON'T see it as a failure - either a failure to follow MN advice or a failure to do what you "should" do - you have to do what is right for you. In fact, consider it a success - you successfully listened to your gut instinct and didn't do something that didn't feel right!

Your mum sounds like she is supportive - can you talk to her more about how you are feeling?

And it's always a pleasure to help people who help others - you were there for me yesterday and I'm here for you anytime you need it!

Miaou xxxx

Slinky · 21/09/2004 20:03

Awww {{{{Nutty}}}}

You haven't wasted anyone's time. You've given it a lot of thought and now isn't the right time to do it. There's no point in making yourself unhappy!

Hope things turn around for you soon and you feel a bit better

ebbie22 · 21/09/2004 20:04

We may give you advice and make you aware of the different paths you can take BUT that doesnt mean you have to follow everyones advice...
We dont think any less of you..The most important thing is that you have listerned and understood what you can do,meaning you have taken on the advice and done what is best for you...
Show me one person who doesnt do that.... xxx

Tinker · 21/09/2004 20:05

I agree with everyone else nutty. You're so young, you've got plenty of time before you find what you want to do - some of us never do

Chandra · 21/09/2004 20:07

Nutty, your mum was right, you have not wasted anybody's time, you will go when the time is right, university courses are not easy and if you are not really convinced it's imposible (I was convinced and I feel like giving up when I have only few weeks to finish ).

twogorgeousboys · 21/09/2004 20:08

Nutty, sorry to hear you are feeling down. College can wait until you feel the time is right.
I don't think for one minute anyone thinks you have wasted their time.

Take care

NomDePlume · 21/09/2004 20:19

Everyone on here is right, don't beat yourself up about it. You came on asking for advice re returning to college so that you culd make an informed decision, which you have now made. You don't feel that you are ready to take on the additional responsibility/pressure yet, that is totally fine.

You say that you are depressed, have you approached any profs about this, your GP for instance ?

Hugs
NDP

TraceyP · 21/09/2004 20:19

Nutty, you haven't wasted anyone's time. The real beauty of advice is that you don't have to take it! Please don't think you're a failure, from what I have seen on other threads you are a lovely person. You have plenty of time to go to college later, at a time which might be better for you and where you are. I agree with everyone else that you sound really depressed, perhaps you should have a chat with your GP. I'm so sorry that you feel so low, and hope that you can get the support that you need and deserve.

motherinferior · 21/09/2004 20:20

Babes, don't worry about us. You do sound as if you've got depression and that's horrible, I know. You're not a failure, that's for certain!

Original poster

nutcracker · 21/09/2004 20:23

Thanks again guys.

I haven't spoken to my g.p yet as she is a bit of a drip, and i'm not sure she would get it iykwim.

You know even the thought of having to make a docs appointment gets me worried, which isn't normal is it. Makes me feel quite panicky just at the thought of having to go out, get the bus, wait and the docs e.t.c.

I am nuts, i must be.

Keep trying to pinpoint why i feel so bad but can't really pin it down.

OP posts:

stupidgirl · 21/09/2004 20:25

Oh Nutty, don't be so hard on yourself. Sometimes you have to try something to decide whether it's right for you or not.

So, college isn't the right thing for you at the moment. Maybe that just means you're closer to deciding what you do want to do.

Relax, stop beating yourself up, and go see your GP. I suffered from depression for years. The sooner you do something about it, the better. Good luck.

Chinchilla · 21/09/2004 20:26

Depression is an illness, it doesn't have to be anything specific that sets it off. Don't worry, get yourself some help and you will feel better soon. I know that being paranoid about things (your house being burgled) is one symptom. I haven't 'met' you on many posts, but you seem lovely, so don't think people won't want to chat to you on here. It is just the depression thinking for you. Take care...

stupidgirl · 21/09/2004 20:29

Your are not nuts, Nutty, just feeling a little down and vulnerable right now. Is there someone who can come to the doc's with you? Would that help?

Original poster

nutcracker · 21/09/2004 20:34

I suppose i could ask my mom.

Just don't like people knowing i feel crap. Feel like they are going to say 'what the f**k have you got to feel crap about'

I would love to have a kore posotive outlook on life and every night i go to bed thinking 'right tommorow it will be different, i will do this that and the other and feel happy about it'.
Never works out that way though.

OP posts:

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