Domestic violence and abuse

[Singledadshame]

I'm 39 and 6 ft 1....I'm 17 stone and I'm a single dad to 3 young children. I split with my wife at her request. I'm now ashamed and embarrassed to finally admit, I have been the victim of domestic abuse. The thing that truly hurts the most and is still the hardest part to admit openly (hence the anonymous post)... I still feel like I have love for her...that somehow it'll all be a mistake...I hate myself and ashamed for my emotion to betray me, when I know full well what she has done to me. I'm ashamed because I know the lengths my friends and family came to my aid...The utterly disgraceful actions she has done...And I feel like part of me is screaming through sound proof glass at myself.....let go...don't look back....keep going....and then after a few days..my heart betrays me and I'm hurting again...What do I do??

You are not wrong but some people have trouble seeing abuse for what it really is, especially in your situation.

@junebirthdaygirl
He?

I watched my daughter burst into tears when phoning her mum..she asked if i would talk first in case a stranger answered...she was 7...

You know what..today is the day I say no.....It is unacceptable to do that to a child....date who you want..sleep with the entire US Army for all I care...but to put that burden on a child....It's a scandal...For me to have to watch..yes it hurt emotinally... yes moving on is not an abuse....but throw it into the mix with everything else...i think it is...bear in mind I had been falsely accused of rape and isolated from my entire social circles....How can that be deemed as un abusive?

june posted on the wrong thread, is all (I know which thread she was aiming for)

I wanted to start to get this out there as a step on the road to recovery.....I do not deal with her anymore..but the effects are just continuing within me...I have to deal with it..

PS.. I am a man...the alleged abuser was a women.

You asked for thoughts.

Often people come on and talk about their situation when it's in the middle of happening.

Your situation is done now....ok I know it's not in that you are still living with it but essentially it's time to move forward, to make sure that the hatred you describe feeling is put to back of your mind and make sure you put your focus on bringing up the children who now live with you. Professional help would be useful, you've already signed up for that. I'm not quite sure what you're actually looking for from this site seeing as you appear to have much of the situation resolved.

Unfortunately to many people still not understand how damaging emotional/verbal abuse is.

I'm sorry you have had to go through and your children, and still to deal with your ex.

I do think you need to speak to a counsellor and get some help in real life, and more importantly some coping mechanism.

dude, you need some RL help - counselling etc.

I just really felt, if I put it out there...I might it the guilty feeling I let it happen.

Just to meet the embarrassment head on...It was really hard to admit it to myself, even more so to speak aloud about it.

??

WOW. The minimising by some people in this thread is disgusting. OP is clearly in torment and folks are saying they fail to see abuse? That's disgusting.

You can bloody see it in the way he's talking, the gaslighting and psychological abuse is prevalent. Of course it's disjointed, this is what happens to abuse victims. He needs help and support not doubting, and a bloody hand hold.

Keep talking @Singledadshame - we are here.

Sorry l don't know how that happened. My reply was to another post. Apologies for that.