Mornington Crescent rides again

[Andrewofgg]

Maida Vale. Just to make it difficult.

Trendy1 I don't blame you for choosing Meldreth - you weren't there in '77 (because you and a narrow-minded jury at the Quarter Sessions had not seen eye to eye about that vast stock of frozen pilchards in your lean-to garage) so you obviously did not see what happened. Never mind; least said, soonest mended, hey?

Let's turn respectable. Bishopthorpe.

Respectable, eh? That's not what it says in the Appendix to Grimethorpe I, which makes very clear that an abrogation to Bishopthorpe should only be considered in very particular circumstances.

So a safe ecclesiastical endeavour, to:

Bishops Lydeard

Ha! A perfunctory lateral slice to

Kings Cross

Sorry, but everyone knows that on the 4th day before the Kalends King is not cross; he is very contented. We are going to have to take the plunge which of course means Caernarfon and iech y da to all who sail in her. But make sure we leave the Principality before Thursday when I am given to understand that some sort of tribal festival will be taking place. Involving leeks. And woad.

Sigh. It is tediously obvious, Andrew, that you are banking on the Beast from the East trapping us in Caernarfon at least until Thursday, precisely so that you can daub yourself in woad again. Have you forgotten what happened in Bratislava in ‘95? The vice-consul certainly hasn’t and nor, I hear, has the procurator fiscal, who keeps the microfiche under lock and key.

Rayners Lane

Signal failure has blighted the lines through Rayners Lane over the last couple of weeks, which I was regaled about earlier today. So before yet another one strands us I move to West Harrow.

Anything to avoid a repetition of Andrew wearing woad, a knowing smile and nothing else.

Clapham Junction

That’s not what you said at the time, Maud - and don’t think I didn’t see your little old Box Brownie going nineteen to the dozen. Chalfont and Latimer and sod the snow - in a Crescenter’s heart the sun is always shining.

Of course I took photos. M had asked me to gather further evidence for the Director of Public Prosecution’s dossier. She was quite insistent on the point.

Rayleigh

It’s just a pity you forgot to put any film in the camera. M told me about the leg-pulling that earned you. The DPP was in any event too busy with that business about MummyPingu’s twelfth and the overripe Brie and the stolen Titian.

Coalville

Well of course that’s what she told you, knowing your gullibility. Gullibility that you also, it pains me to say, demonstrated in that last move.

Seven Sisters

It is lovely that the half inch of snow has not harmed our playing the game of games. Of course the sloe gin can be relied upon to warm us up should it be needed. This 'beast from the east' has not stopped this game at all!

I think that a move via Finsbury Park to Caledonian Road this evening is fine. As it is Tuesday it avoids any chance of bumping into those who marvel at association football and the failures of a grey-haired Frenchman, who definitely has not played the jeu de jeux, as he might put it.

Well, if we are stopping overnight at Caledonian Road, then we must go without haste to Canonbury, not stopping at Highbury lest the landlord of the Frog and Bucket finds us. After that incident with his wife, the frog and the duck down duvet we should be very careful indeed.

You are not wrong: I suggest we play save by taking the diversion to Gainsborough which must be lovely in the snow.

The Quartermaster-Sergeant tells me that the octopus has escaped again; be careful.

Please do not disrespect the morose, grey-haired Frenchman. He is most adept at the jeu des jeux, but only in his native tongue. You should have seen the reaction when he played Montparnasse at the Bulawayo semi-finals in ‘87. Ooh la la indeed!

Swiss Cottage

The grey haired Frenchman was particularly morose today, apparently. Maybe he is missing Gare Montparnasse and the theatres in the vicinity, which I am sure are where Mummy Pingu first trod the boards.

I think the Jubilee line will be busy tonight but will chance it and make the short journey to Kilburn. Hope the steps down are not slippery.

The theatre where MummyPingu first trod the boards has been demolished as a fire hazard - at least that was the official excuse. Obviously Authority wanted all recollection of that event erased and for once Authority was right. I told her she had neither the talent nor the figure for Macbeth but hell, we all love her for her obstinate refusal to listen, don't we?

And you know who you are, the eminent Crescenter who tried to make Macduff a comic lead, and I was disappointed to hear that your police bail has been discharged - it was keeping you under some limited degree of control.

Saints: you naturally mean the village of that name in the North Riding of Yorkshire (I can't see the relevance of the Jubilee Line) so let's treat ourselves to a curry in Pickering.

I hope that in God's Own Country the steam trains are able to operate, so we can move to Goathland.

I've finally dug myself out of the snowdrift! It's been a bit chilly up in these parts, Yorkshire feels tropical by comparison!
A backward half horseshoe takes us to Giggleswick

A backward half horseshoe! Golly, I haven't seen one of those since . . . well, least said soonest mended but shredded wheat has never tasted the same, has it, Maud?

The Spiel dear Spielen is nothing if it is not innovative and daring and we will therefore go, heads held high and bottoms higher, to Cumbernauld where we will sing the Official Anthem in forty-part harmony on Platform Seven before putting the station cat on the special train to the Nether Regions.

I think the station cats in Scotland have more naps on a Sunday than most days given the sabbatarian traditions in parts of their country.

I have never been keen on brutalist architecture such as is found in new towns of the sixties and it seems not appropriate to linger too long there when playing the game of games. So I take the train to Glasgow Queen Street where the architecture is more to my liking.

Oh, Andrew, you are such a tease. You know perfectly well they were Weetabix.

Now that we have all thawed out, it's time for us to assemble at

Kensington Olympia

Oh come on. If you had said South Kensington that would have been a rather pedestrian choice but more or less acceptable. But we are MC and we do not lower ourselves to the sort of place you have just mentioned. Wash your mouth out with soap.

As that place has been mentioned we stand in urgent need of a trip to Taplow.

Andrew - the fact that you disgraced yourself at the 1975 Sanitary Ware trade show doesn't mean that the rest of us have to boycott such a useful move.

Let us haste away from Taplow to ever-scenic

Goring and Streatley

Irene As I think you know the other person concerned agreed that the misunderstanding was not my fault - I treasure the letter and the censor's stamp from HMP Holloway. Anyway it was 1974.

But in any
event Goring & Streatley is a nice spot; let's move upstream to Wallingford and the Archdeacon has agreed to open the Church Hall for us. Be warned, though: he plays a vicious game. He once played Ullapool two moves after Wallsend - did you ever hear the like of that?