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Greener on the other side...?

34 replies

LiamsMum · 23/06/2002 06:14

Over the last month or so, I've met some of the people connected with my dh's work - many of whom seem to be quite 'well off'. I spoke to a couple at a function a few weeks ago who employ a nanny, and the husband was telling me that he and his wife had been away recently on an overseas trip for 3 weeks, and they left the children at home with the nanny. We also ran into some more of his work associates at a wedding yesterday, who also regularly leave their babies/children with nannies and they all seem to have a wonderful social life. You know what I noticed...? They also don't even talk about their children at all. One couple (about our age) have 11 month old twins and I tried asking about them, but all they said was "they're fine". No further comment. Don't know if I'm being a bit one-sided but I just got the impression that they 'look down their nose' at anyone who doesn't have the same lifestyle as them. I certainly think it would be nice to have the freedom to have your cake and eat it too, but does anyone else think there is anything wrong with leaving young children with nannies on a regular basis? I'm not talking about the necessary work-related childcare, so please don't take me the wrong way! Maybe dh and I just aren't part of that world, but I would feel guilty if I was away from my child so much.

OP posts:
zebra · 26/06/2002 14:16

Family lore has it... I was left with my grandma whom I barely knew when I was nearly 3, while my parents went on a 2 week holiday.

Everyone said I was a "changed child" when my parents returned. My mother, especially, deeply regrets leaving me because she reckons she left an affectionate little girl and returned to a sulky angry one.

I don't remember any of this. But it has put me off the idea of ever leaving my children for more than a day while they're still quite young. DH and I do fantasise about an extended break.... One day :-)

Bumblelion · 27/06/2002 17:04

I am off to Spain for two weeks in August with my two friends and all the children apart from my baby who will be 10 months. Me and my husband have recently separated (his decision which I am still finding it very hard to come to terms with) and I really need a break to get my head round things. I am taking the elder two (9 and 5) but am leaving the baby with her dad. I know I am going to miss her like crazy but (i) Spain will be far too hot for her to deal with in August, (ii) she will be with her dad anyway), (iii) I really need the break to keep my sanity, (iv) it wouldn't be much of a break if I took baby along as all the other children are roughly the same ages (13, 12, 9, 7, 7, 5, 5, 5). I do feel guilty at the thought of not taking her but she is too young to understand and will not remember that she did not come with me. I will definitely take her next year (although I expect it will be a holiday in our back garden then - if I still have a back garden).

Rhubarb · 27/06/2002 20:56

Good on you Bumblelion! It's about time he took a bit of parental responsibility by the sounds of it! Have a fantastic time, don't worry too much about her, she will be just fine. Hopefully once you get back all refreshed, you will see just how little you missed your ex, and you may make that final break??? I really do hope you have a marvellous time, you deserve a really good break and who knows, you might meet a nice Senor there!!

winnie1 · 27/06/2002 20:59

Bumblelion, I second what Rhubarb has said: enjoy yourself, let your hair down (as much as you can with the two older children in tow) and don't feel guilty. You really do deserve a break!!!! Winniex

Marina · 28/06/2002 09:30

Bumbleion, I hope you have the BEST holiday, goodness knows you deserve it after your awful year. Have a wonderful time.

SofiaAmes · 28/06/2002 16:43

Bumblelion, my 1st husband left me for another woman after 10 years together. It turned out to be the best thing he ever did for me. I did not realize how unhappy I had been until I was no longer with him. Go, enjoy your holiday and have a long breath of fresh air. With time (it took me about 6 months) you will be happy again and probably find yourself happier than you've ever been.

aloha · 28/06/2002 20:35

Whoopee Bumblelion. Have a fantastic holiday!

xx

tigermoth · 29/06/2002 08:46

Bumblelion, fantastic! your baby is going to be with her father and you're getting a hugely deserved holiday. No guilt necessary.

jodee · 29/06/2002 15:04

Bumblelion, have an absolutely fantastic time, you deserve a real break away from it all.

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