I wish, I wish, I wish................

[jmg1]

That my children had a Mummy.

Oh jmg, so sorry mate. We all wish the same for you, and we wish you weren't on your own etc, but from your posts you're obviously a wonderful caring man and your children are blessed to have you as their father. Life's a bith isn't sometimes. Although your babies have been left without a mother they have been blessed with a wonderful father. Lots of love to you, Thomcat xx

Do you want to meet up today JMG, ill gladly downtools at work for you? Take the kiddies to Little Angels or something, up to you, no pressure. Take care!!!!!

Dh says he is up for a pint later jmg, if you want. Or we could all go out for dinner with the kids?

Mumsnet is such a nice place. i'm so pleased to read of how many people, on this site alone, are there to help you through dark days jmg. Thinking of you.

Thanks everyone.

Lou+dh and CP3 thank you so much for nice suggestions, but I don't want to speak/see anyone at the moment. Have gone into a bit of meltdown. Hope you understand.

I know that feeling well JMG. Be kind to yourself and believe that you are a great dad to your children.

Totally JMG, wish i could do something, wave a magic wand and make it all better. God i feel so pathetic, not knowing how to help you. Just know we are all here for you !!!!

Jmg, me too: wish they had their mummy with them, and you had your dear dp. Thinking of you too. HUG. Ponygirl xxx

Just to say I'm thinking of you, JMG, and wishing you better days ahead.

If you are sure jmg. Sometimes it's good to get out and have a blow out iyswim. Doesn't help the underlying problems, but can help in the short term. We are both still here if you change your mind.

Message withdrawn

No words, jmg, just big (((HUGS))) for you and your babies.

jmg - just seen this (because someone bet me to stay off MN yesterday!!) - hope you're 'ok'. Everything that's going on is bound to get you down and get worse from time to time but don't be too hard on yourself - you're doing a brilliant job and you're kids are wonderful.

Hope taking some space is helping you atm but if you need to talk just pick up the phone.

jmg - just wanted to add my support.

{{hugs{}}}}

I guess there is nothing anyone can do, it is the situation therefore no point for me personally (not everyone who has difficulties though) going to counsellor, gp or medication.
Apart from that when I hit rock bottom I don't want to talk to people. Its not big, its not clever but thats how I am. In my childhood I learnt that I could not rely on anyone. This is wrong and I hope my kids know they can rely on me.

I guess I feel like a twat for feeling so low and not being able to focus anymore, especially re my business. I used to be so focused on things I set my mind on. For me no day is a good day but I have suddenly been overwhelmed with sadness.

My lovely children make me laugh though. Sometimes their apparant oblivious manner is great.
The other day DD age4 said 'Daddy you just trod on my shadow but it didn't hurt'
Today I said to her 'you are so lovely' she said 'I know cause everybody tells me'
Yesterday DS age5 said to one of his sisters 'I have a bum and a willy, you have a bum and a triangle willy', then he said 'daddy what are those triangle willy's?'
I didn't know what to say. What do you all call your DD's private bits?

Jmg1 i really really wish you would just try counselling, anything is worth a shot. please. lots of wishes and hope going to you x

front bottoms, jmg!

(there are threads on this, will see if I can find one - there are billions of choices!)

Glad to hear you sounding a bit more philosophical.

Glad you're still on here jmg - and I have to agree with ff that anything is worth a shot, including counselling. I know why you don't like the idea but even if you don't feel like you can rely on someone else - don't rely on them, just use them as a stepping stone to you getting your head back together by yourself.

And sorry to get all know-it-all but you're being FAR too hard on yourself. It might not sound like much but after everything you've been through, but just getting yourself out of bed in the morning and bringing up three of the most gorgeous, funny, well-behaved kids around is a HUGE achievement. Forget being focused on anything else for the minute - the business is important but its not the be all and end all in your life. If you lose focus on that for a while and you can't put as much into it as you used to, it really doesn't matter - its NOT a failure on your side.

Medication may help you or it might not - with the range of stuff available now it would probably be worth a trip to the gp but that's up to you. Talking things over, IMO, would definitely help. It doesn't even have to be a proper counsellor, at least to start with. Just spout off to anyone who'll listen (and don't worry about whether you're wasting their time - that's their problem and they're probably happy to listen anyway). Then you could think about a counsellor - just try it and if you hate it you don't have to go back (just make sure you pick a qualified one - there's some out there with no experience that do sod-all for you). But keeping things to yourself obviously isn't solving everything so talking to someone else might just be worth a shot.

But its really important to go easy on yourself - you're a fantastic dad which is hard even if the rest of your life is perfect. There's nothing wrong with hitting rock bottom - its no reflection on your capabilities, and very slowly things will start to pick up. It will probably take years and be painfully slow but it will happen.

And for what its worth, your kids seem to know they can rely on you and trust you totally.

awww wk .
Yeah maybe too hard on myself. Always give myself a hard time after starting thread like this aswell.

Oh jmg, I'm so sorry you're feeling so low. I wanted to say, I have just started bereavement counselling and am finding it a help even after only two sessions. It is for a very different circumstance to yours, but I am also not someone who likes to talk when I am down - more a find-a-dark-corner-and-curl-up type but it's amazing what comes out even when I think I have nothing to say. Take care xxxx

Just a quick stalk () to say I agree with WK, jmg.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do about things.

jmg1 - hope you are feeling better if there is anything I can do to help use cat.

Thanks ct (just don't make a habit of agreeing with me - my nerves aren't that strong!!)

jmg - IMHO you expect way too much of yourself and so you don't see it when you're doing a good job.