If mumsnetters were all Enid Blyton characters....

[welliemum]

.... what would we post about?

Chat: My children have just been kidnapped again by international jewellery thieves. I do hope they are rescued in time for tea.

Behaviour/development: My daughter is athletic, assertive and extremely capable at everything she sets her hand to. I am so worried about her. How can I get her to wear a dress and simper like her darling cousin Anne?

Style: I have a super hat. It's blue with a bell on top. I'm thinking of teaming this with a red jumper and a yellow scarf, any thoughts?

[welliemum]

Pets: We have a lovely dog who has helped uncover several smuggling rings, but he is awfully licky.

Is this a valid reason to have him put down?

[gobshite]

pmsl at welliemum

[chopchopbusybusy]

Am I being unreasonable? Our cook is - plump - well actually very overweight. She seems to spend all day feeding my children and their cousins lashings of ginger beer and jam sandwiches and I'm worried that they too will become...plump.

[Aloveheart]

i think i would be mr wobbly!

[yellowvan]

Mrs Twiddle writes:
AIBU to be annoyed with dh being so blardy forgetful all the time, you know, the other day he put the fish from the fishmonger in my hat box AGAIN, and I found my sou'wester in the fridge.......

And he SCOWLS at my cat

And I have to darn his socks

[gobshite]

Behaviour and Development

My son and his little friends have formed some sort of club they call the five findouters, and spend their time wandering through the countryside looking for criminals, sneaking out of their rooms at night, being threatended by international smuggling rings and getting trapped in abandoned houses.

Am I right to be concerned that he's acquired the nickname "Fatty"?

[welliemum]

Oh, I loved them to bits and I started my own secret society and everything.

Then I got a bit older and started being uncomfortable when the Famous Five were laughing at the accent of a working class child. I remember that moment very clearly - it was the first time I realised that the author wanted me to be laughing and I didn't think it was right to laugh.

Trez educational.

Am very against anyone who tries to stop children reading them.

[tortoiseSHELL]

Education; I'm really annoyed with my dd's school - thinking of complaining to Ofsted - they recently had a fire, and instead of calling the Fire Brigade, it was left to my dd to climb the drainpipe to rescue the ill girl in the SAN who everyone had forgotten about. She's now in hospital with a broken leg - should I write and complain to her form teacher or will she think I'm being an interfering parent?

[Greensleeves]

ghosty, have they taken out all the scary child-beating bits too? I am reading the old version to my kids and I have had to do some serious off-the-cuff editing

[kittylette]

My son Dick is an awfully happy lad, and claims daily to be gay.

We are awfully proud to have raised such a jolly chap but have become slightly concerned when we found the 'toytown clothes catalogue' under his bed with pictures of PC Plods head glued to the male swimsuit models.

What should we do??

[damewashalot]

PMSL at this thread. You can guess where I stand on Enid Blyton books When we go on holiday ds1 wants to find caves to explore in the hope of finding secret tunnels

[misdee]

I am currently reading first form at malory towers. i am certain that qwhen i read it when i was young Darrel slapped Gwen in the pool, now it says she shook her.

please tell me they havent toned down the slapping of gwen

[JanH]

Gillian Baverstock (EB's daughter) will be speaking at the Oxford Literary Festival on March 25 if anyone's interested.

I think Imogen might be more interesting though

[yellowvan]

My ds said to my sis the other day "Nic (cousin) is being naughty because you didn't smack him enough when he was little"
Gawd knows what his teacher thinks of me if he comes out with stuff like that in school....wonder if she's read EB's "Book of Naughty Children"......

[ghosty]

Greeny, so far, no beating going on - AT ALL ...
I tried to read the 'old' version to DS a year ago and ended up giving up as I found it hard to edit as I went along.
Now though, really easy and DS is loving it. Quite well done I think, still with that charm but without the 'datedness' ...

[slowreader]

Beatings in The Secret Island MMJ, I seem to remember. Hence children ran away (prudently taking with them six chickens and a swimming cow).

[NotanOtter]

G Baverstock lives in my town dontcha know!

[NotanOtter]

how old are those gilrs supposed to be?

[damewashalot]

LOved the secret island, don't remember beatings used to love the idea of living on an island and living on wild berries