Zombie's Journey - A Wedding, A Final Christmas and Planning for a Wake

[IamtheZombie]

Previous thread is HERE

ZombieLad gets married today. Hats on and champagne at the ready!

A week today he and ZombieLass arrive to spend Christmas with me. It will be the Best. Christmas. Ever.

There have been no miracles so my remaining days keep ticking away. Life is for living. Death is not to be feared. Wakes are for celebrating.

Please join me.

Dare I ask, who is 'Scrotebag'? He sounds useful, but not necessarily pleasant?

I think that's for Z to answer Pacific.

I wouldn't necessarily strike the right level of vitriol.

That's brilliant Zombie. I'm ecstatic when I get a text from DM that BathsLad has had a Zinger Tower meal from KFC, as people with CF don't tend to have much of an appetite, which is a PITA as they can't digest fat so they take artificial enzymes and need a fat rich diet.

Porridge is brilliant, but maybe a bit filling?

BBB, I bet you could make a fair stab at decent vitriol!

Fair enuff, I don't really need details, stand down

I had to decline prescribing opiates today to a drug seeking patient who was so out of it when he attended he could barely string a sentence together, but otoh was so high that he took my 'no' in good grace. He went back to the waiting room, witnessed by another waiting patient took 'a white pill from his pocket' and went to sleep on our very uncomfortable, made-to-deter-lying-down seats, while smelling really bad. Ah well. It was after 5.30pm. We let him sleep until we had to lock up and he got a cup of tea.
He is 3 years younger than me and looks about 100 years older - it's really sad, but at the same time there is nothing anybody can do for him while he is leading the life he is leading. Catch-22 of the horribliest order.

I dunno, I am either not having enough or too much cider.
Is one can too much??

Life can be crap to some people.
I am feeling maudlin, sorry, peeps.

I believe I know who scrotebag may be. Also believe ds could tap into suppliers from scrotebag's old neck of the woods. DS who also DJs and goes to edgy places like Berlin and came home at 6am this morning causing me to drop off at 4am for an early start and full on day.

Your Honour, sir, he had to do it for zombie. DH might not be able to act when essential must behave

Weed's legal where I live. The positive results in the lives of ill people are just legion. DH says that if it had been legal when his mother was so ill she would have been so much better off for the same reasons you mention Zombie.

You take a hit or two for me and I'll do the same for you!

Pours another sherry. DH just turning off A3 for home. Puts chops back in oven - empties glass. Tomorrow is another day.

I know exactly who Scrotebag is, and what it did.

It was one of the reasons Z started these threads 3 or 4 years ago.

I do a brilliant line in vitriol but think it's up to Zombie to set the tone of this particular thread.

I spent about 6 years completely out of my tree but haven't for about 30 years! Just puts me to sleep.

Used to love sherry too OhTheRoses, have to allow 48 hours recovery these days for anything stronger than wine.

Plus needing a wheelbarrow for the bags under my eyes!

Such fun fucking not

One can of cider is nowhere near enough, Pacific. Time for the hard stuff, I reckon.

Nope, having my hot milky drink before bed
It's a school night after all!

Forget about The Scrote - forget I asked sometimes I open my mouth before I think

Just what I was going to say cozie

I don't get on with weed. Never imbibed but ex-p was a fan & it gave me thundering migraines. Plus he would get a bit....handy afterwards.

Scrotebag is my (hopefully) STBEXH. I had my first cancer diagnosed in November 2011. By November 2012 he decided that a wife with cancer was both boring and repulsive and found a new SexToy for his pleasure and amusement. He moved out in February 2013 but continued to string me along. He even "came back" for a month from mid August to mid September 2013 in order to go on a holiday we had booked and paid for just before he discovered the SexToy. A few days before we left for the holiday he told my best friend that he was leaving for good as soon as the holiday was over. He told me the same halfway through the holiday. For once he was telling the truth. There's also the small matter of the £30,000 balance of a loan I had made to him which he hasn't (and won't) repay. Thankfully he is the one asking for a clean financial break in the divorce so at least he won't be able to come back trying to get even more money from my estate. I also loaned his elder daughter £40,000 to clear all her debts and after we separated he denied he had any sort of responsibility, moral or otherwise, for that. At that point I essentially wrote that off as a gift. His younger daughter will also receive £40,000 in my will as I always insisted that both girls should be treated equally. He isolated me from family and friends. A real charmer.

In his eyes, he has done absolutely nothing wrong.

Fucking hell Z

Well remember the arse but didn't know he'd fleeced you as well.

I think we should kill him. Slowly.

Periods of maudlinity (?) must be part of your job description Pacific. I can't imagine how you do it day in, day out.

Have you tried combining the hot milky with the cider?
I guess it might curdle.
You could try whisking it?

Actually, don't, yuck!

I'd be happy to help woth scrotebags murder.
Can we also kill my ex while we're at it?

I didn't realise your ex was quite so

Passes Zombie for strictly medicinal purposes

I'd add mine to the kill em off pile but frankly he's not worth the effort.

Sorry, X posted, need to get used to you not being purple Z.

Blimey, I knew he was a cunt, but I hadn't really grasped that that he was quite such a cocklodging, scheming, lying, thieving, fuckwit cunt.

((((((((Z)))))))))

Glad about the patches, Zombie. Hope that means you can spend more time enjoying the company of your newly weds.

What a prince your ex was, eh? People like that make me properly angry. In sickness and in health should bloody mean that.

Morning! Scrotebag sounds charming, you're well rid.

Dropped off the DC, bought BathsLad a Christmas pudding hat and myself some bauble earrings, in the Sainsbury's café having my large caramel latte and my cheese and ham omelette.

Morning. Scrotebag sounds like a right dick. May he get impacted piles, anal boils & a split frenulum (NOT the one in his mouth). With explosive diarrhoea. All at the same time. On Christmas Day.

Fingers crossed the patches are working & your pains are eased Zombie.

I think we should infect him with the illness called " galloping knob rot " this I think would be part of his punishment.

Well today is my marathon mince pie day and guess what, I can't get the bloody lids of the mincemeat !!! But Dh said he will be back in about an hour so all will be ok .

You know you're going to get 2 million tips to open the jars now Lin?

Tap the lid gently on the side, rotating the jar as you do

Stab lid with sharp knife to release the air

Stand jar upside down in hot water

Drink gin & wait for DH

Zombie

I'll quite happily chip in for a hit man.

Semi-lighthearted.

Hope those patches are kicking in today

ikl
lin I like ikls last suggestion the best.

Today I am chilling at home. My mum has been round and cleaned up for me (mobility problems. I'm very bad at the minute...since Saturday when now ex left me on the floor unable to move)
Dont have to pick DS1 up from school until 4 as he is having a disco, then I have a staff meeting at the nursery I volunteer in. Luckily I'm able to take the kids to that. Deputy manager said it was OK to bring them and let them play in the room while we were talking. So no need to go begging ex to look after them.