Zombie and Chemo - The Ongoing Saga

[IamtheZombie]

Summer is slipping away but the chemo goes on. Previous thread is here

Please join in. We're a friendly bunch of bananas.

Zombilicious there are some photos on your FB page.
I hope you'll all enjoy, you might need some eye bleach handy😂

That's the one Fids a little slice of heaven on earth. We regularly see deer on the beach along with chipmunks and the ubiquitous squirrels and raccoons. I even saw an elk once! Some (fairly tame) black bears around but you don't see them much, they just make a mess of your rubbish

Hope the various injuries aren't too painful.

Lovely place Hearts

Lord no I'm fine. Was really a ridiculous thing. And me being dramatic. Who'd a thunk

As is the now going on for 7 weeks drilling/digging outside my house. Ridiculous. They dig in, they dig it out, repeat. Now start at 6am and go till 9pm. Have obv clocked we speak English what with me and my lot in and out talking to each other/friends/phoning as they said today, "Sorry, we not very good".

Feel sorry for them, they earn so little and get shouted at by some bugger who will be earning 50 times what they are. I can't wait till the house stops shaking, the radiators are clanging today.

Nearly throttled FidBoy1 when he said earlier "But Mum, it's a good thing. Fiber optic internet!"

Have put him on kitchen floor cleaning duty for 7 weeks

Fid, are you attention seeking again? Tut, tut, tut. Take two smarties and go to bed.

Tummy started really hurting again yesterday. I jigged around the Movicol and Peppermint Oil doses and I seem to have found the right (or at least a working) balance with dreaded codeine / oramorph constipation tendancies. Feeling much better this evening.

I've also done a little research as to how ibuprofen can interact with beta blockers. The main reason to prescribe beta blockers is to control high blood pressure (although the cardiologist told me they were just generally protective of heart function). Ibuprofen can increase blood pressure. OK. I understand that. However... Other than when I was in hospital last year and the fluid retention was doing nasty things to my heart and lungs I have NEVER had high blood pressure. Quite the opposite in fact. So I have decided that until I can speak with my GP on Monday morning I'm going to put my comfort first and alternate paracetamol / ibuprofen every 3 hours plus a dose of codeine or morphine at bedtime.

Zombie 😉

Oh my God. I've got an appointment at the Royal Marsden next Wednesday morning.

It's still the longest of long shots that they will be able to offer me anything but at least they've not dismissed me without seeing me.

That's good news Z

And, if you please, more than 2 Smarties. More like 2 giant tubes.

Which Marsden Zombie? Can I be of any assistance?

That's just greedy, Fid.

It's the one in Chelsea, OhTheRoses.

Okay. Not too far from work. If you need a handy hold call me. Are they sending transport for you? If you are there overnight of course I'll visit if welcome x

zombie I wanted to say just bollocks. I want to say something more heartfelt and eloquent but I can't so it's just bollocks and fucking hell. and just more bollocks to be honest. AArgh. hugs and shit. xxxxx

I'll be going down by train on Tuesday and staying in a nearby hotel that night as I have to check in for the appointment by 10.00. Then I'll be heading back home after the appointment. I have friends arriving on Thursday to spend a few days with me.

Zombie so sorry to hear your recent news
Can I ask how you got a referral to the Marsden? I have a very rare type of breast cancer which has started to spread and there is no specific treatment regimen for it. I feel that I may need more experienced input.

chewing, my oncologist in Shrewsbury did the referral as there was no further treatment she could offer me. All I can suggest is that you ask your oncologist about a referral if he/she really doesn't know what to offer you.

PM me if you want to talk. I'm probably heading to bed soon tonight but I'll be around tomorrow. xxx

Oh my god Zombie, it would be fab if they had some treatment to offer you. Your medical people are certainly on the ball by getting you an apt so quickly !

Hopefully that's good news zombie!!! Can you send us all smarties cos I thinks you are stressing us all out!! 🙏🙏🙏

That's great news Z, big, positive vibes that they come up with something for you.

Loving all the martini recipes in the absence of vermouth

DD2 was back here for 24 hours with lots of Nepalese goodies. I've been tasked with knitting up some yarn to see how it washes, it's made from ripped up old silk saris.

I've also got to try and figure out a way of measuring the length of the whole ball!

Zombie screams and screams and screams.

I'm really beginning to regret that I told anyone about my new prognosis.

There are the ones who can do nothing but sob and splutter that they can't believe this is happening. Sorry, I've been telling you for nearly 3 years that it would come to this. Get a grip (even if you are my best friend) or I will have to distance myself from you. At this point it really isn't my job to be a shoulder for you to cry on.

Then there are the ones who suddenly want to spend every available minute with me. You've also known for nearly 3 years. Why didn't you make that effort sooner? Will you be able to understand that I may well choose to spend my time with those who have made the effort?

Finally, as always, there are some who want to make this all about them. I only have one thing to say to them: ODFOD.

Rant over.

Eek.

Oh dear, I'm really sorry you're being lumbered with all that.

I guess it's a downside to being so open and honest about what's happening, and for being so stoic about it.

It's the first stage of grief isn't it, disbelief and anger.

Sweetheart, some people will just have not been able to accept what you've been telling us all this time, and some will have accepted but not acknowledged.

I think the time has come for you to be totally selfish; do what you want, with who you want and anyone who vexes you can't come in.

I don't imagine I'm helping but I am very glad that you have some who have made the effort that you can choose to spend time with.

I would tentatively suggest that you let the blubbers and splutterers be for a while, they might move on and become more helpful.

In the meantime the Phalanx is here and you can scream and rant and we'll just keep pouring the whispering martinis.

(((((((([bear))))))))))

Tut!

((((((())))))

Scream and rant as much as you like sweetie, take each day as it comes, only do what you want to do.

I think the time has come for you to be totally selfish; do what you want, with who you want and anyone who vexes you can't come in.

This. Absolutely this.

Of course people will be sad. That's natural, but they should be pulling themselves together for you. At least not crying at you all the bloody time. As you said, you are not a shoulder for them to cry on, you are dealing with enough without having to worry about how other people are handling it.
As for those trying to make it about them they need to get a grip ffs

And of course the phalanx is here for you to rant, scream and shout as much as you need. We will be here with 🍸gin.

Oh there you are Fatty, we were wondering on owl thread where you were !
Zombie, you must call the shots and everyone must try and be as you want them to be.

I think this is a common reaction.
My mother had a friend whose daughter had breast cancer in the 80s, she died aged 34.
Some of her family were very evangelical and insisted that she came to meetings so that they could pray for her and laying on of hands would cure her.
She went a few times, hated it so stopped going. She told me she did it for them but realised it was all about them feeling better for having done something.
They told me she died because she didn't have faith.
She actually did, but it wasn't the same as theirs.