Mornington Crescent?!

[Eggsbutnobacon]

Will somebody please please explain to me what this is all about?

Andrew I suspected. There were some very fishy notes in the margin, but I thought they may have been coded entries by aristocracy for exotic literature

And yet, and yet: the Rules seemed to be in order.

I've burned the book ( a curious green smoke ensued) and having no genuine rules to adhere to, I shall put myself in Nidd, as the previous mcer has played the same station but in Northern climes.

Hope it's nice and fresh in Yorkshire. Berkshire has been balmy today

FastWindow You are un-Nidded - one fine day the truth about that forgery will be revealed and all will be explained.

In the meantime Northallerton but the down platform is closed as is the ticket office.

Incidentally where is the Chief Petty Officer these days? Did he ever get away from Greenford?

Again, Andrew old sport, I think you are projecting. The last I heard, you were still on the medication, although the quarantine had been lifted and you were no longer banned from public areas (other, of course, than Waitrose in St Albans, where memories are long and that incident with the guavas will not be forgotten).

I fear that in spending quite so much time outside the metropolis we are breaking Melrose's Ordinance, which has served us well since 1784, so I will set things right with a longitudinal shuffle to

St James' Park

No Maud I tailed off and kicked the medication and now just rely on the exercises. As for Waitrose in St Albans they should be jolly grateful. They had a battle there during the Wars of the Roses and after that there was nothing to talk about until . . . well, it wasn't my finest hour but you told me yourself how much you enjoyed the guavas - and you didn't stint yourself, did you? We all saw you hit that old lady with your crash helmet to make her let go of the one she grabbed from the display of fat-free yoghurts.

Melrose's Ordinance fell into disfavour along with Melrose when he was hanged, drawn, and quartered for Scrumping in the Royal Orchards but what the hell, Popkin's Parallel Perpendicular to Poplar.

Nearly a whole day in East London via the DLR. Such a convenient rule since it was first used in the glorious MC game early in 1987. Now the rule has additions since the 2012 Olympics, I can safely move to All Saints DLR.

Darlings. Just quickly popping in the use the little - behooved barometer rule: if the temperature in my back garden goes above 28.2 degrees C, I get a free pass on first class travel to East Sheen .

Wheee! Such fun. Pass the aftersun, Jeeves, dear.

FastWindow How good to hear from you! I don't think our paths have crossed since the special conference in Barnstaple in '92 - did you ever manage to pacify the lady in the Indonesian restaurant or are you still banned?

East Sheen has not been the same since the vet shaved off her moustache, has it? Still, it's a nice enough spot when the rozzers aren't about.

Waterlooville, I think!

Assuming that East Sheen was accessed via the joys of Richmond, no danger of breaking any rules by returning via Hove and Gatwick to City Thameslink

Have you not heard?

City Thameslink is closed again because of the wrong sort of leaves on the line at Dundee.

Oh phooey! Leaves on the line don't matter a jot when one can play a Warne's Westerly to

Bristol Temple Meads

Scottish leaves are another matter Maud but you have made a good escape. Now for Nigel's Northerly, a move I have always wanted to play but never had the chance.

Shrewsbury.

I saw the Archdeacon on the way. The crowdfunding for the case is going well. Just imagine when they take all those hyenas into the High Court!

I saw the Bishop last week, Andrewofgg. Not in Golders Green though, even as I am reliably informed he has visited when getting emotional over a game of MC and forgetting to change trains at Camden Town.

The High Court has never recovered from the case in 1986 when the rules of MC were challenged by some litigious interloper seeking to impose their own code on the game which started in the autumn of 1985. His Lordships in the Court of Appeal refused to grant leave to appeal after the most sensible of judges threw the case out.

Crowdfunding was thankfully not an option available in those days. I feel that the coracle came to use in rescuing my train ticket to leave Shrewsbury and come south again to South Kenton.

I expect the Bishop was on his way to the Annual Diocesan Heretic Burning (you know, on the old allotments, bring a packed lunch and some paraffin) - he told me that most of the Stars of the Show had been caught playing Scrabble and they deserve what's coming to them.

Off for the peace and quiet of Frinton - where some very fine amateur MC is played while they wait for the valves in their wireless sets to wake up so they can listen to last week's news.

Frinton is all very well, but one prefers the class and refinement of

Margate

You know, it's years since I've seen a Richardson's Rollover (except from King's Cross to Cambridge and that does not count, does it?) so here we go to Swanage.

Maud: the Brigadier says thanks for those seeds you sent him from Amsterdam. He was worried about them but he followed the instructions and now he is not worried any more. Funny, that.

A Richardson's Rollover on a Thursday? In June? Must be the effect of the seeds from Amsterdam.

So it's full steam ahead to Corfe Castle for an overnight stay and a visit to the local watering hole on this warm evening. Let us hope none of those playing the French version make an unscheduled appearance.

You seem to have misunderstood. The seeds from Amsterdam were petunias; the Dutch are great horticulturalists after all and the Brigadier wanted to spruce up his hanging baskets. It was the least I could do.

Thinking of floral magnificence, let us hie ourselves to

Hampton Court

I knew that Maud - what on earth else could they have been?

Hampton Court is not a station, it is the punch line of a very juvenile joke. Still - it will get us to Twickenham where I am given to understand persons of the French persuasion are unlikely to show their faces at the moment. Something to do with a projectile resembling an egg and s sort of H made of sticks and a big lawn.

Apologies first and foremost for my prolonged absence. I have recently returned from a sort of spirit quest to a small settlement in deepest Ruritania, where I met with a chap claiming to be a distant descendant of his Excellency, the Rt. Hon. Charles Chatterley-Harbinger (MC champion 14th dan 1532- I believe he beat Henry VIII himself, which may have contributed to the unexplained incident in the drawing room later that evening )

In any case, I have procured from the hermit another copy of the rules. It too has notrs in the margin, but the script has many flourishes and what I can only assume to be obscure Olde Englishe.

It will take months to decipher.

Fortunately for me, the hermit has cleatly been attempting a rudimentary translation, and so I can with some confidence pull a Carraway's Clip Clop to Charing Cross for Horseguard's Parade.

Thanks for the sojourn at Twickers, andrew : I am inordinately fond of the Egg-over-the-big-H game. Especially when the Frenchies field an ill-equipped equipe and we make off with the shiny cup.

Is it safe to come out? The ruddy Home Secretary's 2nd in Command has had me, Mummy Pingu, her 2nd, 5th and 6th husbands (which was blasted awkward, given that husbands 5 and 6 ran concurrently for some time), the fly-half ofthe MC juniors Ladies Rugby First Team and the Vice-Consul down in some bunker alleging a nuclear war is imminent and we must all hide in order to repopulate the country after the fallout has cleared. lord alone knows why he wanted Mummy Pingu for that as her re-populating days are long since over, still I think the lady Fly Half was keen to take him up on the offer. Anyway, after nearly a week we discovered his herbal cigarettes were actually ... well, a very particular herb, and had him sectioned for cannabis psychosis. What larks!

I'm so relieved to have a decent class of MC-ers to play with. Mummy Pingu was never much cop, it seems my MC talents were from the paternal line.

From Charing Cross I offer you a grand jete en tournant with treble Southerly lift to

Hove (actually)

I always found Mummy Pingu's MC to be first rate except of course when she lost her temper. That coadjutor-bishop chappie never quite got over what she did with her shillelagh when he played Leytonstone to her Swansea, poor blighter, and it was a legal if mildly sneaky move.

We all heard the noise from the bunker. If it happens again, at least switch on Radio 3 and Husband 5 to stop deluding himself, he cannot play the tenor ukelele.

When you've buggered Bognor and said to Hell with Hove it's time to sod Sandwich, isn't it?

I am not going to follow in the steps of Her Majesty the Queen's grandfather or go to the Earl's place. Given the seeds were of the horticultural variety from the Kingdom of the Netherlands, I feel we should consider the seven seeds. So it's off to Rye for the evening.

Just had the news about the lifts at MC station being closed for repairs. I hope Pingu did not damage them after a few gins over the road on a Sunday when Camden Town is closed for entry. All because the young persons wish to spend their money in the local market instead of the finer free pleasures such as a game of MC. The youth of today!

I fear it was Pingu - I warned against swinging from the light-fittings but she would not listen - still, she can't be blamed, it's hereditary, and we all adore her, don't we?

Dymchurch beckons and I answer the call.

Also apologies for the absence. Do you know about this "work" malarkey? Well you show up and they give you money! IT can be rather jolly, but apparently whilst you are there you are expected to actually work! Anyway, that's where Ive been.
Andrew, dear thing, need to pick you up about an earlier move, afraid the Station in Richmond Nth Gods own county, is defunct. They now show talkies there and serve jolly nice grub.
If I was suspicious in any way, I would be thinking about thelifts at MC. Not pointing any fingers.
So a move. Well, I need to be somewhere special later, so let's get closer to the action by playing Queensway.

Slinky - are you not aware that Higher MC does not recognise the Beeching Axe? If there ever was a station there still is.

If the building is showing talking pictures as well, that's a bonus, but it's still a station.

From Queensway to Princetown.