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Original poster

Creepy man... am I overreacting?

49 replies

lauralou16 · 28/04/2016 21:48

Right so,sorry if Im writing this in the wrong place or whatever... I have a nearly 3 year old little boy,every day we walk the same way to his nursery and on the way there is a lollipop man. For some reason from the first day I seen him he has made my skin crawl. Hes always really REALLY nice to my son,which is fair enough. Except when we walked today he started talking to him and saying that he had seen him the day before in nursery playing in the yard with the toys etc. Like he had been watching him or something? Is it just me thinking that theres something off with him or? Would it sound completely stupid if I mentioned it to the nursery?

OP posts:
pippistrelle · 29/04/2016 11:04

So, did he see him in the yard playing with the toys? Is it visible from the street? If it is, then he's allowed to look in. Many people enjoy the sight of children playing, and it doesn't mean he was ONLY looking at your child. If it's not visible from the street, then I would ask the nursery if they've had him in for a road safety talk or something.

But really, what does it matter? It's not like your two year old is going to be left alone with him.

usual · 29/04/2016 11:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PirateSmile · 29/04/2016 11:08

Lollipop men and women are all CRB vetted. The ones I know are the friendliest, chattiest people I've ever known and every one makes an effort to speak to the children, especially when they're really little. Mention something to the Nursery if you feel he's done something wrong but get your facts straight before you do.

JazzApple · 29/04/2016 11:13

Much as I think you should trust your instincts, he's just doing his job. It's expected that the lollipop person outside a school will talk to the children. It would be strange if they didn't. They see them every day so they are going to notice if they get a new coat or if they are early when they are usually late or whatever.

And they usually finish their first shift and start their second when the school/nursery is still on so they are going to see children when they are outside.

SarahVineTory · 29/04/2016 11:15

Just because someone hasn't got a conviction it doesn't mean they have never done any wrong.

Trust your gut.

MTPurse · 29/04/2016 11:16

What exactly will you mention to the nursery?

The fact you have a friendly lollipop man or the fact he could see the kids playing outside?

Cunties · 29/04/2016 11:18

I always trust my instincts however they haven't always panned out to be correct. So, I would just acknowledge there's something about him you don't like, and move on.

Arfarfanarf · 29/04/2016 11:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Earlgreywithmilk · 29/04/2016 11:23

I think he's just trying to be friendly and you're being a bit paranoid. You would probably find if you were to stand and watch him on his shift that he's the same with the other kids.
It's a shame that paranoia over paedo's nowadays means we are suspicious of a friendly lollipop man chatting to our child (that hyped up Chris Morris sketch comes to mind)! - would you be so concerned if it were a lollipop lady?
Maybe he's just a bit over-familiar and that makes u uncomfortable? I would mention it to other mums before saying anything to the nursery I mean what can they even do about it? Tell him to stop being so friendly to the kids?

Maryz · 29/04/2016 11:32

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CandyFlossBrain · 29/04/2016 11:34

Instinct counts for a lot. It certainly counts for a lot more than the opinions of some strangers on a forum who have not met the person in question. Women are always told to quash any uneasy feelings because not all men, etc. Fuck that. His apparent right for you to not hold any private negative feelings about him does not trump your desire to keep your child safe.

Go over stranger danger with your child, you could talk about trusted people and point out the difference between teachers and the lollipop man/dinner servers. And you could ask the school to confirm that he has been CRB checked for your own peace of mind. Ask around with other parents too, in a neutral tone, what do they think of him? He will not be removed from his job because you find him creepy, but it won't hurt anybody for you to ask about his CRB status, and find out what other people's thoughts are.

usual · 29/04/2016 11:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PirateSmile · 29/04/2016 11:35

Of course somebody could be a sex offender who isn't on the register/has been CRB checked. It kind of goes without saying really.

PirateSmile · 29/04/2016 11:37

This also reminds me of a story Arthur Smith told about when he pulled a funny face at a child on the tube. The mother called him a 'peado.'

firesidechat · 29/04/2016 11:37

Here we go again.

The most likely explanation is that he was being nice and making conversation.

Why would he mention stalking your son if that's what he was doing? Think about that for a moment.

Yes you would be crazy to mention it to the nursery.

CandyFlossBrain · 29/04/2016 11:37

Oh my goodness, a man was nice to your child

You know you're being disingenuous, she says in the OP that she found him creepy before that. And I'm sure he's not the first man to ever be nice to her son, and I'm equally sure she hasn't found them all creepy...

BertrandRussell · 29/04/2016 11:37

Yep. Over reacting massively.

And the one of the scariest things anyone can ever say is "trust your gut" or "follow your instincts"

They just mean "act on your prejudices" and that's how lynch mobs happen.

CandyFlossBrain · 29/04/2016 11:38

Why would he mention stalking your son if that's what he was doing? Think about that for a moment.

Because he might be a bit thick?

No-one will be harmed by the OP checking that everything is in order.

usual · 29/04/2016 11:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

firesidechat · 29/04/2016 11:39

I would mention it to other mums

Why would anyone do this? It's spreading rumour and gossip because of a massive overreaction on the op's part. Poor man.

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 29/04/2016 11:41

Is your child's grandfather friendly to him?

Does that creep you as well?

because...y'know...statistically, it's far more likely to be him fiddling with Junior than the nice bloke chatting at the crossing.

firesidechat · 29/04/2016 11:41

Yep. Over reacting massively.

And the one of the scariest things anyone can ever say is "trust your gut" or "follow your instincts"

They just mean "act on your prejudices" and that's how lynch mobs happen.

Yes, yes, yes to this. I've said the same on other threads like this.

PirateSmile · 29/04/2016 11:41

How would you go about asking if other mothers find the lollipop man creepy "in a neutral tone?'

BertrandRussell · 29/04/2016 11:41

"No-one will be harmed by the OP checking that everything is in order."

Oh, you have no idea how much harm can be done by rumour mongering and gossip.

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 29/04/2016 11:42

And you mention it to other mums, and the next minute the poor bloke has got a brick through his window from the local rentamob thick-as-mince boys.

get a fucking grip.