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Original poster

Hmmm..Would you attend a childrens party and....

133 replies

StrawberrySnowflakes · 15/12/2006 19:23

leave your child there, not knowing the host and say youll be back when its finished??

im having party tomorrow, am also working (childminder), one mum whom i do know to talk too said she wouldnt be able to stay(ffs! yeah i could do with two free hours to xmas shop too, but im putting a fecking party on for your children!)is that okay?..so i said look, ill be up to my eyes in it as well as the fact im working, so if you cant stay, youll need to speak to someone else who can look after your dd for you...fine, she was ok...now last pasrty we went to a little boy and his dad turned up, this dad knew no one as never takes son to school..asked host what time it finished, then said right ill be back then..his ds then proceeded to scream when anyone popped a ballon and fell over a million times njuring himself.........same boy and same dad are coming to ours tomorrow!!!.hmmmmm

OP posts:
dara · 16/12/2006 14:41

It's normal to leave them. It's up to you to provide enough helpers (eg family, your best friend) to cope. Some parents like to stay but it's normal to go. I'm not meaning to be rude in any way, but you are the unusual one to insist people stay, I'm afraid.

ParanoidSurreyHousewife · 16/12/2006 14:51

Do let us know how the party went!

FWIW I would only leave my 5 yo once I had made sure that there was enough adult supervision, and he was off enjoying himself, and I would leave a phone number, unless I was safe to assume that you already had this (eg at parties held by children in the same class then all mobile numbers and contact details are on the class directory so would assume that host had that with them). Certainly I wouldn't leave my children if there was only one adult for 30+ children, so I'm sure that some pareetns will stay behind. And whilst it is assumed that you do drop your children, in practice there are always 4/5 mums who stay anyway.

Stockingsofdinosaurs · 16/12/2006 15:07

I don't remember my mum being at my friends' birthday parties! It's just not practical to stay when you have more than one child (often more than one party at once!).

colditz · 16/12/2006 15:10

If your child is going to create aabout being left, or isn't toilet trained, or has multiple allergies and needs watching, you should stay. Otherwise, you should be free to leave.

FWIW I always stay with ds1 unless I am literally told to leave, because he is hard work.

Tinker · 16/12/2006 15:15

Would stay at 3, would start peeling her off me at 4 upwards. Would hate other parents hovering around. If you can't look after teh kids you've invited, don't organise the party. Am amazed you're shocked that parents might relish some child-free/less children time.

myrrhthamoo · 16/12/2006 15:19

We had a party for ds2 at a soft play area last week - when I booked it I was told that it was my responsibility to ensure that there was one adult for every five children. We only had 10 children so dh and I had it covered. I haven't gleaned from the thread whether your party is at a venue (was there a mention of a bouncy castle?) but if it is I'd check whether they expect you to have adequate adult supervision.

All the parents bar one stayed at ds2's party, btw - most brought older siblings who played while we all had coffee and chatted. It was nice

motherinfurrierfestivefrock · 16/12/2006 15:24

I was slightly surprised at DD1's fifth birthday party when very few parents stayed. But it wasn't a problem at all - not just because the 'action' took place in a bouncy trampoline place with a couple of staff - but because they were all nice, competent little girls of five or six. I took a sigh of relief at the prospect of not having to hang around at parties from then on.

I'm looking forward to the point when both Inferiorettes can be dropped at parties. Just think, we might get the chance for afternoon sex

myrrhthamoo · 16/12/2006 15:27

Oooh no, MI - not the done thing at all to arrive to pick up your children with dishevelled hair, disarranged clothing and that tell-tale post-coital glow. Just imagine the gossip in the playground!

dmo · 16/12/2006 15:35

poor you strawberry
firsty working on a saturday
and then havin a party

my son was 10 in june and we had a disco, we invited 55 children and there was just me and dh to look after them

i was on door duty incase any escaped and dh was on toilet duty as after only 30 mins the boys toilets had been filled full of toilet rolls and flooded

never again !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2nd sons 10th birhtday in aug and were off to spain no partys

Original poster
StrawberrySnowflakes · 16/12/2006 19:01

just going through the thread after having a fab party.
Two parents left, one whom had already spoken to me and whom ahd arranged with another mum she knew to have her dd, and the little boy whos dad left last time, his mum brought him and said to a mu she kind of knows "oh ive just forgot i have to...".."can you mind ds for me"!..
there were about 26 children there, some other siblings i knew nothing about but as i catered on paltter type tray(not party boxes), there was loads to go round and wasnt a prob..lots of food and soft drinks for adults and lots of gifts for me and dd for arranging the party

MerrilyTooBuzzi -"If you bother to look I had tried to give some advice earlier and was kindof backing you up.", all i asked was why did you feel it was important you missed that bit?

gunna try and read rest now

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Original poster
StrawberrySnowflakes · 16/12/2006 19:02

By PinkTinsel on Fri 15-Dec-06 22:36:32
hmmmmm, i have a lovely image in my head now of a little rink in the corner of the soft play where the drunken mothers can skate merrily in circles - LOL..we could have done skating the amount of water that was spilled from the wonderful water machine theyd justd ecided to put in a room full of inquisitive kids

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Original poster
StrawberrySnowflakes · 16/12/2006 19:07

oxocube on Sat 16-Dec-06 09:11:38
Strawberry - re 'if it takes so long to drive there and back, why leave at all?' - my kids are now 11, 9 and 5. If I have to sit through another 2 hour soft play party, I think I'll go mad..we had two straight after one another last week!!!..but i did stay!

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Original poster
StrawberrySnowflakes · 16/12/2006 19:10

tigermoth However, I see your OP says you are working as well as hosting the party. Are you sure all the other parents realised this when they were invited? It looks like they just saw your invite as a standard party invite.* - i am only looking after one mindee as her mum asked me last minute and knew about party

You also say that no one has ever assumed they don't stay at other parties you have held. Is this because the age range was younger? At a party of 1,2 and 3 year olds, I would stay or check fully with the host before leaving. * - that may well be the case?..as dd is only 3, so perhaps?!

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Original poster
StrawberrySnowflakes · 16/12/2006 19:11

anniebear - it is in/was in a soft play area in sports complex

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Original poster
StrawberrySnowflakes · 16/12/2006 19:14

**dara on Sat 16-Dec-06 14:41:03
It's normal to leave them. It's up to you to provide enough helpers (eg family, your best friend) to cope. Some parents like to stay but it's normal to go. I'm not meaning to be rude in any way, but you are the unusual one to insist people stay, I'm afraid. ** - so a choice/ opinion other than yours makes me unusual?

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Original poster
StrawberrySnowflakes · 16/12/2006 19:17

Tinker on Sat 16-Dec-06 15:15:31
Would stay at 3, would start peeling her off me at 4 upwards. Would hate other parents hovering around. If you can't look after teh kids you've invited, don't organise the party. Am amazed you're shocked that parents might relish some child-free/less children time. - am not shocked at anyone wanting time, i was surprised by the parents who walked out leaving their children with someone theyd not met before just cos the kids knew each other and didnt expect to need to say is it ok, or..goingby the posts, check if there were many other adults there in order for their child to be watched

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Original poster
StrawberrySnowflakes · 16/12/2006 19:19

caught up

yes the venue/sports palce said to me when we went in(i asked), that there had to be a parent/adult for every three children...and whilst chatting to friends there and other aprents, they were equally shocked at the parents who walked out leaving their two at mine and other parents at parties theyd been too...maybe im from another planet eh?

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oxocube · 16/12/2006 20:52

strawb - I'm glad it all worked out and you had a good time!! I'm sorry if its my nightmare scenario -you are probably a much nicer person than me I just feel I have done this for the last 8 or so years and now have had enough. Good for you though xx

hulababy · 16/12/2006 20:58

I think it is quite common for parents to leave once a child is at school, especially in a person's house type party. Less so at soft play or organised places as often people have further to travel to get there.

In saying that we have been to several parties since DD started school in September expecting to leave DD there. However, so far the norm has been that the parents have all stayed, had a drink and nibbles and a chat, whilst the party went ahead.

If you'd prefer parents to stay make sure you let them know in advance, on the invite. At DD's 4th party I wrote on the invite that parents and young siblings were invited to join us and that I would be providing adult refreshments for them. I asked to know siblings ages and numbers to allow for catering for them (I did food boxes so vital) and party bags.

cat64 · 17/12/2006 16:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

DINOsaurmummykissingsantaclaus · 17/12/2006 16:05

I think unless you know your child has special needs which mean that it's inadvisable to leave them on their own, the norm is to drop them off and pick them up at the end of hte party.

motherinfurrierfestivefrock · 17/12/2006 16:32

I'm actually very taken aback by parents who insist on staying with their kids 'because I don't know you'- overheard a fellow school mother saying this recently to another mother who'd invited her daughter. Do you vet your kids' outings to friends' houses as well (where frankly there's a greater risk of abuse, if that's what concerns you)?

JollyOldSaintNikkielas · 17/12/2006 20:10

DD1s (7) swimming party yesterday only 1 child was left and 1 other sat in cafe rather than going in the water(I was quite pleased about all the adults )

JollyOldSaintNikkielas · 17/12/2006 20:19

*1 parent not child obviously

ChristmasisComing · 17/12/2006 22:02

At some parties i have been to in the local health club parents are 'not allowed' in the party room but are welcome to use the facilities, or just attnd the bar for a drink - very nice and civilised!

Ours recently were held at the soft play at the local shopping centre and we positively encouraged parents to go and do some shopping or just have a coffee - most were very grateful of the break at ds' party in early Nov.