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Original poster

Hmmm..Would you attend a childrens party and....

133 replies

StrawberrySnowflakes · 15/12/2006 19:23

leave your child there, not knowing the host and say youll be back when its finished??

im having party tomorrow, am also working (childminder), one mum whom i do know to talk too said she wouldnt be able to stay(ffs! yeah i could do with two free hours to xmas shop too, but im putting a fecking party on for your children!)is that okay?..so i said look, ill be up to my eyes in it as well as the fact im working, so if you cant stay, youll need to speak to someone else who can look after your dd for you...fine, she was ok...now last pasrty we went to a little boy and his dad turned up, this dad knew no one as never takes son to school..asked host what time it finished, then said right ill be back then..his ds then proceeded to scream when anyone popped a ballon and fell over a million times njuring himself.........same boy and same dad are coming to ours tomorrow!!!.hmmmmm

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MerrilyTooBuzzi · 15/12/2006 20:57

I think it is a lesson you learn with your eldest child as oxocube says her youngest is now 5 and so on.....

I now keep my parites small unless i have arranged back-up! As said earlier in thread first experience of being left on my own was a nightmare.... Just didn't pre-plan or think that they would all be left. Beleive me not all 4-5 year olds can cope on their own when parents have left the room and all want to be the centre of attention.

Us that are left on our own are too polite to comment. Can vent my anoyance now though! he he.

Gald I have been through it and now they are both older.

DizzyBinterWonderland · 15/12/2006 20:58

i'm a bit confused.

is the party one of your mindees birthday party? if no parents stay are you allowed to look after 30 kids on your own?

3andnomorethechrimbobimbo · 15/12/2006 21:00

4 or 5 year old would depend on the child...alhtough, with a 5 yeart old, i would almost certainly leave, with a 3 year old I would stay....no matter how good!
But also depends a bit of how many other mums would be there...in the end, you should only have as many children as you can personally handle, just incase any of the parents just leave...!

poinsettydog · 15/12/2006 21:22

I would assume I could drop off and go - unless I had been told otherwise - from the age of about 3 as my kids tended to get on with it and enjoy it from that age.

If I've organised a party I make sure I've asked a few close adults to stay and help. I've never expected parents to stay and I prefer them to bugger off.

PollyannaInExcelcis · 15/12/2006 21:25

I think that for 5th birthday parties onwards it is the norm for the parents not to stay. I usually enlist a bit of extra help from my family and there is usually one or 2 of the mums/dads that stay. I don't think it is odd to drop them off and run at all tbh.

mysonsmummy · 15/12/2006 21:30

Op - why would you have party if you are working?

looks like everywhere is different - i had ds 5th birthday party last month 43 kids and only 2 mums stayed. (who stood in the doorway, never lifted a finger and got in everyones way)!! i had lots of friends there to help me - why would i want the parents there watching - the kids are so much better bahaved when they go - the entertainer wanted them out of the way as well.

Hallgerda · 15/12/2006 21:31

It's much better if the parents leave, surely. That way you are very definitely the sole adult in charge so the children play up less, you don't get a miserable child sitting out the entire party on the knee of their mum/dad who is giving you dirty looks for failing to jolly their child into joining in, you don't have adults around who think you should be trying to entertain them as well as their children... I'll stop this rant before I get too carried away, but I used to get quite upset at the prospect of any parents staying around at my children's parties. (My youngest is now seven so the issue no longer arises)

I think it's a bit unfair to assume the mother is going shopping. She may have another child who will play up if she has to stay - you say she doesn't know you, but presumably that also means you don't know her or her circumstances. You seem to be implying that a parent who is prepared to leave their child with someone they don't know is neglectful - isn't it just possible that some of us prefer to allow our children to make their own friends rather than put up with the children of our friends?

If you know that a particular child is going to cause trouble, why invite him? And wouldn't the father hanging around being socially inept put a bit of a pall on proceedings?

hana · 15/12/2006 21:31

43 children

MerrilyTooBuzzi · 15/12/2006 21:41

mysonsmummy thanks for that, I missed that bit about Strawberry saying
"Im having a party and also working (childminder)."

-- { leaving thread and closing door... }

Original poster
StrawberrySnowflakes · 15/12/2006 22:14

firstly - i am a childminder.
i arranged a christmas party for dd, her firends and our family(not soley for dd)as our local soft play place gave me special discount as i was just starting up in business. mum of mindee only last week asked me if i would have her dd that day and i explained about party..dear me didnt realise id be lynched!..dont rush to call ofsted just yet!

re free babysitting, if it takes that long to go home and get back, then why go home at all, dont people want to see their kids having fun?

siblings - they have been invited to try and ease strain on oarent

i dont think it is up to the host be it me or anyone else to arrange child care, parents should come with their child, expect, games, food, not an hour off what if everyone else thinks the same?

no child invited is a trouble causer, but one child was upset when their parent left party last week

i didnt imply neglect toward any parent, i said we would all lie an hour to go shopping, or maybe have a cup of tea, read the paper, why assume cos its a kids party, the host will want to/be able to look after everyones children for them.

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Original poster
StrawberrySnowflakes · 15/12/2006 22:15

MerrilyTooBuzzi - why was it so important you missed that bit?

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Original poster
StrawberrySnowflakes · 15/12/2006 22:17

apologies for my shocking spelling there..i was typing to fast and not reading

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poinsettydog · 15/12/2006 22:19

Not trying to lynch you, SS. JUst saying different people have different expectations and if you woul dprefer parents ot stay I think you will have to say that otherwise you'll think everyone's being dead cheeky. And they're probably not.

Jimjams2 · 15/12/2006 22:19

I wouldn't assume that, but ds2 cannot go to parties unless he is left as I have ds1 to look after as well. Yep ds3 could tag along if you were inviting siblings, but ds1 could not. Generally I don't know the other parents of the parties ds2 goes to so I couldn't ask someone else to look after him.

I've also found that parents of most 4 to 5 year olds with standard parties (some exceptions I can think of such as parties with lots of children with SN, or parties in very open grounds fiull of trampolines) prefer the other parents to leave anyway ime.

PinkTinsel · 15/12/2006 22:22

snort, i'd be surprised if they stayed!

not the norm at kids party's here at all for parnets to hang about unless theres rink laid on for them

Original poster
StrawberrySnowflakes · 15/12/2006 22:22

poinsettydog no you wern't but some posts seemed like i was commiting a mortal sin, beofre it was explained about working/party arranged.
i know parent of two or more find it hard so i have tried to accomodate for them and fine, if people want to ask another parent they know well to watch thiers.

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Original poster
StrawberrySnowflakes · 15/12/2006 22:23

seems i am in the minority then as its never happend before..thought it was rare but seems not!

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PinkTinsel · 15/12/2006 22:23

'parents''drink' (half asleep sorry!)

Original poster
StrawberrySnowflakes · 15/12/2006 22:24

i knew what you meant..did wonder how i was gunna fit an ice rink in too though at first

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poinsettydog · 15/12/2006 22:25

Yeah, I don't go anywhere unless I can skate

poinsettydog · 15/12/2006 22:26

You'll always find me on the ice rink at parties.

poinsettydog · 15/12/2006 22:26

I'm thinking of that song. Was it jona louie?

MerrilyTooBuzzi · 15/12/2006 22:32

Strawberry ... Are you having just a Birthday party or an organised event? Are you being paid to be there if you are still childminding ie working.

That was the bit that was unclear and you hadnt been on the thread for a while

Dont fret, its not a problem, but it is abit different in my view as to what you were asking advice about on this thread. If it was a small birthday party most parents would not expect lots of children/siblings to have been invited and therefore not stay. If it is much bigger event then whos to know.
Hence popped back to answer your question.
If you bother to look I had tried to give some advice earlier and was kindof backing you up.

PinkTinsel · 15/12/2006 22:36

hmmmmm, i have a lovely image in my head now of a little rink in the corner of the soft play where the drunken mothers can skate merrily in circles

MerrilyTooBuzzi · 15/12/2006 22:38

are they falling over the soft ball area where all the dads hang out?