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Original poster

Hmmm..Would you attend a childrens party and....

133 replies

StrawberrySnowflakes · 15/12/2006 19:23

leave your child there, not knowing the host and say youll be back when its finished??

im having party tomorrow, am also working (childminder), one mum whom i do know to talk too said she wouldnt be able to stay(ffs! yeah i could do with two free hours to xmas shop too, but im putting a fecking party on for your children!)is that okay?..so i said look, ill be up to my eyes in it as well as the fact im working, so if you cant stay, youll need to speak to someone else who can look after your dd for you...fine, she was ok...now last pasrty we went to a little boy and his dad turned up, this dad knew no one as never takes son to school..asked host what time it finished, then said right ill be back then..his ds then proceeded to scream when anyone popped a ballon and fell over a million times njuring himself.........same boy and same dad are coming to ours tomorrow!!!.hmmmmm

OP posts:
shouldbedeckingthehalls · 15/12/2006 19:37

If the party host is a parent that I'm v friendly with then I and some others usually stay, share a bottle of wine and help out, if I don't know the parent hosting the party I'll usually ask if they'd like me to stay but rarely do if dc is happy to be left.
At our dc's parties I usually make sure I have lots of wine and grown up snacks on hand so it can be as much a social event for the parents as for the dc.

Original poster
StrawberrySnowflakes · 15/12/2006 19:38

yeah, i have always provided sandwhiches and drinks for adults and will be this time too

OP posts:
7swansaswimmingup · 15/12/2006 19:39

my sister had a party in the summer for her dd's 5th birthday, most parents went, i ended up running around like a blue arsed fly stopping accidents with swings etc, the parents that were there got pissed on my brotherinlaws lager and he was not happy, they went through about 2crates of lager, moved onto his breezers and they were still there and the kids 2hours after the party ended!

Original poster
StrawberrySnowflakes · 15/12/2006 19:39

cant take bubbly into the soft play area/party area

OP posts:
Jimjams2 · 15/12/2006 19:39

what babysitters do you need? I dont get what you mean.

I would never leave ds1 at a party- I won't leave him when he's 18, can't. Currently wouldn't leave ds3 (aged 2) but ds2 ()4) yes definitely. He's having a 5th birthday party in january for about 20 children. I'm not expecting anyone to stay. My parents will help out (ds1 will need someone to look after him the whole time) and I'm paying our helper person (18 year old girl) to come and help as well. The magician said he prefers it when parents leave, and he has asked them to leave the room before if they're talking as he finds them a pain! Where on earth would you fit 30 adults, wouldn't they be falling all over each other.

IlanaK · 15/12/2006 19:40

I would not leave my children at a party (5.5 and 2.5) and I would not allow any parent to leave their child at mine. I have not hosted a christmas party, but for birthday parties I make sure I know all the parents and they all stay. But I know I am in the minority.

serenitynightholynight · 15/12/2006 19:42

I'd expect the parents of 3 year olds to stay, but at 4 or 5 it would depend on the temperament of the individual - mine were quite shy and weren't happy being left until they were 5 or so (and then they'd tell me to go ) I think once they've got used to being at school and being in large groups with just a few adults in charge you don't really need one-on-one supervision. SS, I think as your children get older you're going to have to get used to this!

Oh, and back to your original post - you aren't actually putting a party on for anyone other than your child...... (not having a go btw, just pointing it out )

SpicymulledSheraz · 15/12/2006 19:43

Nothing wosre than over protective parents hovering over their PFB's at a party. When we were kids no ones parents stayed.

nutcracker · 15/12/2006 19:46

For a 3 yr old i'd stay but 4 and 5 year olds no.

Dd1 had a party at 5 and no ones parents stayed, didn't expect them to.

auntymandy · 15/12/2006 19:47

I actually dont want the mums to stay at Ds's

SpicymulledSheraz · 15/12/2006 19:49

Yes you have to talk to them for a start!

auntymandy · 15/12/2006 19:50

and provide them with drinks etc!!

tinkerbellie · 15/12/2006 19:51

hi everyone ds has just had his 5th bday party and only two left their kids
i wouldn't leave mine until he is a bit older as he is quite shy
not really bothered about people leaving theirs if i actually recognise the child, this woman i have never spoken to came and asked me if she could leave her child and i had to ask his name!! but anyway he was really well behaved

cece · 15/12/2006 19:51

3 year old I would defintitely stay.

4 year old depends on type of party, the hosts, venue and whether the child was happy for me to leave. I have left dd when she was 4, but not always

5 year old I would definitely expect to leave them there. Unless the parent was a friend of mine. In which case I owuld stay and help.

Socci · 15/12/2006 19:51

Message withdrawn

tinkerbellie · 15/12/2006 19:53

one thing i would say if you can just leave your kids you don;t have to talk to the "cliquey" mums who normally just ignore you at school

but the parents leaving their child should leave you some sort of contact number

MerrilyTooBuzzi · 15/12/2006 20:02

cece i would agree.
However just for the record,,,,,
I was left all on my tod on my oldest DD's 4 birthday, no DH or DP and a 18 month baby too. In a sports centre with Bouncy castle and a young teenage boy to help.

No-one stayed and I felt very annoyed as I couldn't even take them to toilet without taking my 18 mth old too. Promised Id never do it again. No-one even asked if I needed help.

Another time a parent left a sick child and then turned up and hour late. Child was running a fever when she left her and kew it too. Give them and inch....

I always ask if they want me to stay before the party day. Hopefully they will return the guesture so if its needed you can ask.

Tommy · 15/12/2006 20:02

4 seems to be the age that you get to leave your children at a party - that's what I have done with DS1 and his friends' did. I normally ask a couple of friends to stay and give me a hand but after 4 I wouldn't expect parents to stay - especially if I didn't know them

SpicymulledSheraz · 15/12/2006 20:03

Tinker you must go to the same school as mine do!!!

cece · 15/12/2006 20:05

Yes I do ask if they want help but so far have always been told to go away (politely).

I also leave a phone number just in case.

StarrmumofRoyalBeautyBright · 15/12/2006 20:18

If you are organising the party then it's up to you to arrange the help you need.

Once they're school age I can't see the problem of leaving them - they all know each other.

As a working mum, I didn't always know the host parent anyway.

And let me tell you - parties usually last for a couple of hours - by the time you've dropped them off, gone home and then come back for them there's barely any time. It's hardly free babysitting!

mummydear · 15/12/2006 20:26

What if the children invited have other siblings , if you need parent to stay who is going to look after other child or would that child be invited aswell.

Might not be an option that the other parent can do it.

It is the norm that children are left at parties especailly 4 or 5 years of age.

Perhaps dont invite so many children.

oxocube · 15/12/2006 20:42

Agree with Starrmum here. My youngest has just turned 5, have left him at parties for a year now. I have always kept my own kids' parties small enough to be managable (btw 10 and 12 kids when v little) and have arranged adult help myself. All my friends do the same. And its true, if you have to drive for 20 mins in Saturday traffic to drop your child off for a 2 hour party, then pick them up again, its hardly free shopping time is it? Parties are the bane of my life even though my kids, of course, love them.

JollyOldSaintNikkielas · 15/12/2006 20:49

Usually round here about 1/2 stay.If I leave either of the dds(5&6) I check I usually ask a parent/friend that is staying to keep an eye on them rather than the host IYSWIM

DD1 is having a swimming party tomorrow and majority of parents are staying/swimming and she will be 7.

elliott · 15/12/2006 20:55

In my experience (ds's who have just turned 5 and 3 respectively) it is at age 5 that children will be left as a norm. Perhaps a little younger for children who have older siblings, and at ds1's party (age 5) there were some parents who stayed but most didn't. Last year only one or two asked to leave their children, and next year I won't expect any to! the age you're talking about does seem to fit into the grey area, but I'm surprised you're surprised that parents will be leaving their children....

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