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Original poster

i feel sorry for dd

32 replies

nikcola · 17/05/2004 16:47

as you all no me and dd are not liked by her dads family or much by mine, dd has no friends to play with or cousins or any other family members, Today she broke my heart she was looking out the window she was really quiet and i went to see what she was looking at and she was watching children playing outside she said to me "look mommy kids" i dont no what to do im not very good at making friends and i want her to be happy she just seams to be boared all the time

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hercules · 17/05/2004 16:48

How old is she again nikcola?

gothicmama · 17/05/2004 16:50

Is there any way you can pluck up the courage to speak to the parents of the children playing outside or possible play with dd outside so the other children know she is there and possible friendships can grow . My dd (only child) sometimes says she can not do something cos she ahs no to do it with this makes me sad but I try and find my inner child. Hope you find what you need

Nutcracker · 17/05/2004 16:52

Oh Nikcola how sad.
Do you go to any moms and toddler groups or anything like that ???

My dd1 never had any friends until she started nursery as i never used to socialise with any one with kids.
I wish no that i'd taken her to a toddler group or something.
Aren't there any other Mners in you r area ??

hercules · 17/05/2004 16:52

Where do you live nikcola?

Branster · 17/05/2004 16:52

are you taking her to any toddler classes (sorry, i don't know how old she is, i assume she's very young) - music or ballet classes or parent&toddler groups? You don't have to socialise with anyone there yourself, but she'd have the opportunity to make some friends of her own. leisure centres usually offer some sort of classes or find out from your local library. I hope this is of some help to you.

Momof2 · 17/05/2004 16:55

Think I agree with Gothica - go outside with her and play so that she can get the other kids to join in and then make friends (take a football or something that maybe could be accidentally thrown near the other kids for them to throw back?).
We still (still!) go to the park with our 2 (aged 7) and play tag, stuck in the mud, 40-40 home, and let the other kids join in - DP and I are the oldest kids and have the most fun!

Original poster
nikcola · 17/05/2004 16:55

shes 2 and a half hurcules

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hercules · 17/05/2004 17:00

She's old enough to start preschool - shoild be 2 x 21/2 sessions a week. There will be a small charge if i remember.

Original poster
nikcola · 17/05/2004 17:01

im in dunstable (bedfordshire) ive been to one parent and toddler group but all the moms where a lot older than me im 20 and i felt a bit funny, there is a tumble tots group in town at the lesure center ive been once bit only stayed for an hour i got very nervous cause there was so many people there, i might pluck up the courage to go again what makes it worse is we dont have a garden and all the parks round here are full of teenagers getting drunk! the kids that were playing outside i just noticed that they are gipsies who have set up camp a couple of mins from here so im not gonna let her play with them!

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gothicmama · 17/05/2004 17:12

how about an activity you like that dd can join in I take dd swimming she has fun and is startingto make friends with a girl who goes there

sponge · 17/05/2004 17:15

I would definitely look at getting her a pre school place at least for a couple of sessions a week. I'm rubbish at socialising as well, but kids make their own friends if you put them in the right situations. My dd has quite a few friends now from her nursery school and I've gradually made friends with some of the other parents although we're all different ages.
Also the ideas about other activities - ballet, swimming classes etc - are a good way for her to interact with kids her own age without you having to get too involved if you don't want to.

Original poster
nikcola · 17/05/2004 17:24

sorry i forgot to mention she starts pre school in a months time but only for about 6 weeks then they are breaking up for the holidays and in september im going to collage and she will be going to full time nursery im scared about letting her go to pre school will she get on there i dont want to throw her in at the deep end!

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Original poster
nikcola · 17/05/2004 17:30

Sit i just looked onb the calender and she starts on the 25 of this month sit thats next tuesday she goes for 3 hours twice a week but is it worth it sending her for 6 weeks only to take her out to go to nursery in sept cause the playgroup isnt open term time or should i not go to collage oh i dont no im paniking now

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Original poster
nikcola · 17/05/2004 17:34

ok another question is it better tyo sent her to playschool fort a whole day once a week of 2 sessions a week?

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Original poster
nikcola · 17/05/2004 17:50

ok im paniking now , oh and im gonna force myself to take dd to tumblr tots tomorow wish me luck

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coddycodcod · 17/05/2004 17:58

come on nickola! - t you seem really chatty - I think you know only yuou can help her socialise and youwant her to grow up as a confident friendly girl dont you?

set oyurself a target aweek - say going to a play group and stick to it

Nutcracker · 17/05/2004 18:49

Nikcola i sympathise i really do. I am not very outgoing at all and hate taking my kids anywhere like ball pools e.t.c.

I would send her to pre school as planned, and whilst she is there find out what things you can both do together in the 6 weeks hols.

I would definatly still go to college as this will give you a confidence boost and get dd used to being a bit more independant and having more friends.
You may meet some people at college who have kids too.

littlerach · 17/05/2004 19:06

Playschool is better for 2 sessions than 1 full day, IME.

Is she going to a nursery at your college? If so, you will meet people through that. Swimming is great, as it is so casual, go to either a class or a public toddler session. Also, mums and toddlers is good, and you have got your DD to "hide" behind!!

Good luck!!

Branster · 17/05/2004 19:22

excuse my total lack of regional knowledge, but is Bedfordshire the same as Bedford -which to my understanding is situated in the eastern side of England?

Branster · 17/05/2004 19:31

i'm asking because here there is a link to Bedford local Information for parents. They might not have your own area in here though, but this is the sort of information you need to find places for dd to meet other children. The local library should have such lists, or the local council they might have a children's service.

lou33 · 17/05/2004 19:52

Bedford is a town in Bedfordshire.

Branster · 17/05/2004 20:00

thanks lou33. this means the earlier link might not be of much use to you nikcola , but at least it gives you an idea of how many places there are to entertain a toddler and you'd know where to look to find the ones local to you. Good luck!

Piffleoffagus · 17/05/2004 20:18

If you can get past the sterotypes, the NCT is a really good way to meet people as is mumsnet!
I was struggling to find friends when I moved here and had a baby, I got really involved and helped with nearly new sales and went to lots of coffee mornings too. It could be a way in to something for you perhaps

misdee · 17/05/2004 20:31

hey nikcola, we're in herts, not too far. we pop thro dunstanle on the way to the zoo. maybe you could join me and mieow next time we go. it'll be mad, 5 kids ranging from under 2 to 6yrs old.

Original poster
nikcola · 18/05/2004 13:34

thank you all , that would be really nice missdee, ok shes going to platschool on tuesday and im actually really excited for her today we where in the bank and she was playing with a little girl ans shireen kept hugging her i think she will like it there

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