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Help me overcome my inherent inferiority and be poised and insouciant at former works do tomorrow evening

94 replies

motherinferior · 23/11/2006 12:24

Backstory: I worked part-time at a small think-tank a while back, part of my strategy for going freelance. Was not brilliant at the job partly because it was the sort of place where my role wasn't rvery easy; also because my heart was really in building up my freelance work (which I did); and also because my personal life was in a pretty horrific state at the time, as a result of which I had a spell of clinical depression. Eventually my job was closed down and I went totally freelance.

During my time there I wasn't, shall we say, the candidate for Ms Congeniality - I'm quite hard to work with even when not in a bit of a state.

In addition Mr Inferior who also worked there - before me, but that's how I met him - is frightfully congenial and will be met and greeted with cries of delight on all sides, thus increasing my grumpiness.

We'll be taking the Inferiorettes. I bet you a fiver people will say 'oh, are you getting a bit of work done now?' (always a sure-fire way of getting me ranting) and/or 'oh, how motherhood suits you' (ie you are really quite human and non-horrible now, what an amazingly transformation).

AND FINALLY...there may well be the Vacillating Buddhist there, the colleague with whom I had an affair before he dumbped me by long-distance phone call on Christmas Eve to return to his soulmate the Frigid Jungian Shrink.

I am not madly hog-whimpering wild at this prospect, as you can see.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 23/11/2006 12:27

Whatever you do, RESIST the temptation to get drunk. I promise you, it will only make things worse.

Eat a little before going.

It may be worthwhile to have hair done professionally.

Any chance of a massage before going?

How about the outfit - comfortable? Comfort is key here. That last think you want is to feel awkward.

Wonder underwear is my secret! The kind that makes me look fab.

puddle · 23/11/2006 12:28

Do you have to go? Why not get Mr Inferior to take the Inferiorettes and go out with some people you like instead?

niceglasses · 23/11/2006 12:29

Have a good couple of drinks and sod them - always my tactics. Don't forget most pple are so busy thinking about themselves they forget about you.

Am not really best placed to give social advice as a bit of a rough northerner, but a bit of dutch courage n'er did any harm. Enjoy! You sound lovely to me!

expatinscotland · 23/11/2006 12:29

Yes, drinking fine, drunk, no.

niceglasses · 23/11/2006 12:30

Ha Ha - differing advice from Expat and meself. Not advocating drunkeness, but ye ken, a few scoops.

Tinker · 23/11/2006 12:30

I'd book some sick leave now

Tortington · 23/11/2006 12:31

bollocks - get shitfaced show yer knickers everyone will love you.

meowmix · 23/11/2006 12:32

i love the way you write.

You have 2 choices:

  1. assume air of superiority and mystery and smile as if faintly amused by antics of lesser mortals, if confronted by the Vacillating Buddhist, extend your hand as if trying to remember where you met him before, then go..."oh..yes, I do remember you...." in vague manner

  2. train the Inferiorettes to cry on cue whenever he walks near

CAMisole · 23/11/2006 12:33

MI, get your hair done (echoing expat)

Dress to kill

Smile at everyone and be really sweet (especially to those who don't deserve it/are sarky in any way/you don't like)

Everyone's entitled to reinvent themselves, I should know I've had a few myself

And by the way with your sense of humour how can you fail (psml at vacillating buddhist)

expatinscotland · 23/11/2006 12:34

Custy
Poised and insouciant and rat-arsed just don't go together.

dinosaur · 23/11/2006 12:36

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

CAMisole · 23/11/2006 12:43

expat, you haven't met the Brighton posse if you think that

fennel · 23/11/2006 12:43

so why are you going? to show off your now successful career and sorted home life? to network? because you want to really?

bakedpotato · 23/11/2006 12:44

Ahem, why are you going?
It's impossible to do sorted/composed with children around.
If you do go, arrange with DP beforehand that you won't stay more than an hour and a quarter. It may end up OK at which point you can shelve the plan, but the thought of an ejector seat may be a comfort when the V.B. hoves into view.

CAMisole · 23/11/2006 12:44

Prob because she's been invited

joelallie · 23/11/2006 12:47

You could do what I did in a similar situation...that is get seriously p*ssed and get off with a former colleague....

But not sure I'd recommend it.....

fennel · 23/11/2006 12:48

In the end, if they are the sort of people who view children with horror (like many of my work colleagues) then you're buggered, especially if Frigid Jungian woman is there and doesn't have any. you might as well give up now as they will see you as drab and mumsy whatever you do.

But if they adore children and love people bringing them to work events and are full of admiration for how people work and have children, you might be ok. in that case do your children's hair nicely and put the spotlight on them not on your hair.

katierocket · 23/11/2006 12:48

Agree MI - why are you going? It sounds like it might be pretty hard going. But if you do have to go, definitely get shiny,bouncy hair sorted, smile pleasantly a people and remember that ultimatley it makes bugger all difference to your life what these people think of you (and actually I bet they all really like you and you're being paranoid).

Blackduck · 23/11/2006 12:56

MI you make me laugh I love the idea of shaking vacillating buddhist by the hand and looking vaguely at him.....
I think I'd be inclined to bail out and not go - but then I'm a social coward....
Agree - don't get drunk - wear comfortable stuff and think you have moved on - they haven't....

Tortington · 23/11/2006 13:01

wtf is insouciant?

a disease - boring persons artherisis. you mouth stays in perma mona lisa smile - a smile for any occasion - with the head nod of somethink akin to parkinsons only it looks more deliberate

if your not going to have good time - dont go unless you want career promotion and you think will help - in which case showing knickers is the ticket

motherinferior · 23/11/2006 13:05

I'm going partly because I feel faintly pissed off I haven't been invited to anything there before (DP has) and feel in crazed way that I want to saunter in showing off how fabulously I am doing these days. There may actually be some rather nice people there as well.

I cannot quite fit in posh hairdo between now and then - have a poorly DD1 with me today and spritely DD2 with me tomorrow - but I can get my norks out, I suppose.

OP posts:
Clary · 23/11/2006 13:05

MI I agree with others. Don?t go if you don?t want to.

But if you are going to go, make sure you are wearing something that makes you look stunning, and receive gratefully all the admiring comments on your gorgeous DP/children/hairstyle.

Then beat a hasty retreat after about an hour.

@ the vacillating buddhist btw. You are so funny, how could anyone not like you?

Clary · 23/11/2006 13:06

oh sorry x-posted with reasons for going.

Ok get yer norks out in something eveningy and stunning. And leave early, pleading the children as an excuse. And bite your tongue (I would have to!)

Tortington · 23/11/2006 13:08

dont wear black - everyone will wear black.

if you hair is long enough put it up into a chignon thingy with sparkly pins

show norkage and have delecate necklace - not one of these monsoon monstrosities with big feck orf stones on.

fennel · 23/11/2006 13:08

I do speak from experience here. If there is any chance your darling children may vomit or wet themselves at a work event. or inadvertantly cause others to tip their own food down themselves. LEAVE THEM BEHIND.

It does not do your image any good. Trust me. Only take ones who can be relied on not to produce unseemly bodily fluids.