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Help me overcome my inherent inferiority and be poised and insouciant at former works do tomorrow evening

94 replies

motherinferior · 23/11/2006 12:24

Backstory: I worked part-time at a small think-tank a while back, part of my strategy for going freelance. Was not brilliant at the job partly because it was the sort of place where my role wasn't rvery easy; also because my heart was really in building up my freelance work (which I did); and also because my personal life was in a pretty horrific state at the time, as a result of which I had a spell of clinical depression. Eventually my job was closed down and I went totally freelance.

During my time there I wasn't, shall we say, the candidate for Ms Congeniality - I'm quite hard to work with even when not in a bit of a state.

In addition Mr Inferior who also worked there - before me, but that's how I met him - is frightfully congenial and will be met and greeted with cries of delight on all sides, thus increasing my grumpiness.

We'll be taking the Inferiorettes. I bet you a fiver people will say 'oh, are you getting a bit of work done now?' (always a sure-fire way of getting me ranting) and/or 'oh, how motherhood suits you' (ie you are really quite human and non-horrible now, what an amazingly transformation).

AND FINALLY...there may well be the Vacillating Buddhist there, the colleague with whom I had an affair before he dumbped me by long-distance phone call on Christmas Eve to return to his soulmate the Frigid Jungian Shrink.

I am not madly hog-whimpering wild at this prospect, as you can see.

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WideWebWitch · 23/11/2006 20:14

latter, not later

dinosaur · 23/11/2006 20:17

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Bink · 23/11/2006 20:21

MI - just picked up on something (well also only just saw this, sorry - v belated - )

You mentioned there would be some rather nice people there - in your shoes (which I hope are going to be extremely specially Cool, aren't they? Or do shoes substitute only for those who are bosomly challenged?) I would spend my psyching up time reminding myself about them, and what I want to know about where their lives are now, so that initial party nerves are taken over by the plans I've made to catch up with X and Y ... I find once you've had an intensive gossip with X and Y and Z, then the Vascinating Whatsit is neither here nor there. That's my system.

Bink · 23/11/2006 20:25

oh, and I really really vicariously want you to go too

hester · 23/11/2006 20:26

OK, you have Norks Of Legend, so they definitely have to go. Even if you stay behind.

If you must go, wear make-up, do your hair, but most important of all PRACTISE YOUR SOUNDBITES AND LINES TO TAKE. You know what I'm talking about. Much easier to play it if you have a few witty, well-polished phrases practised that encapsulate the sheer fabulousness of your current life and you within it.

Bribing the kids sounds a great plan. But most of all, Mr Inferior HAS to understand his role which is to take care of the kids, back you up, tell everyone how terriff you are, and be ready to leave the moment you want to.

And GO after an hour, leaving them tantalised and begging for more...

MrsSchadenfreude · 23/11/2006 20:44

Leave the lurgy stricken ones at home. Go alone, norks blazing. Peer at VB vaguely and say "Oh yes, I think we met when I was working here" or (if you are well fortified with wine - mind, I deployed this line stone cold sober and loudly to the amusement of all except my equivalent of your VB) "Oh yes, VB and I know each other very well. In the biblical sense." And then just drift off serenely, smiling.

dinosaur · 23/11/2006 21:32

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Enid · 24/11/2006 11:44

@www's suggestion of booking somewhere to go on to afterwards and only popping

that is the epitome of cool

(actually that's not quite true, the epitome of cool is not going at all )

Blackduck · 24/11/2006 13:31

MI are you still going, or has the lurgy floored the whole of Inferiority Towers?

motherinferior · 24/11/2006 14:30

I suspect that the decision's out of my hands, you know - just at the moment I have all the energy and joie de vivre of a squashed hedgehog. Which is probably a good thing, I have to admit.

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dinosaur · 24/11/2006 14:35

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Twiglett · 24/11/2006 14:35

awwww poor MI .. are the inferiorettes still sick? ...

motherinferior · 24/11/2006 14:42

The big one is lying on the sofa in manner of Victorian heroine. The little one has returned to health so rude I'm surprised it hasn't been given an ASBO. DP is in that floppy-exhausted state which is a bit, er, hard to deal with.

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Anchovy · 24/11/2006 15:00

Ah, that man-illness, I know it well.

DH is a jewel among men. On discovering that the freezer had somehow switched itself off on Monday, he calmly defrosted it with my hairdryer, cleaned it out, mopped the floor, threw out the manky stuff and made chicken stock with some of the carcasses in there for good measure without even asking for assistance or guidance - just did while I was working upstairs. Truly I salute him as the epitome of a modern man.

BUT BUGGER ME when he is ill, don't we all know it.

Why not leave DP at home with DD1 and take DD2? I find one small well-behaved child gives the impression of fulfilled motherhood and excellent parenting in a way that two of them (usually having a fight over who is having Thunderbird 5) just, well, doesn't.

Blackduck · 24/11/2006 15:01

MI - that could be a grand plan just to go with one inferiorette, but only if you can get over feeling like a squashed hedgehog (lovely image BTW)

WideWebWitch · 24/11/2006 19:48

I thank you enid

MI, update please, are you going? Or gorn already?

motherinferior · 25/11/2006 13:37

In the event I found myself tottering around the Inferiority Complex feeling really pretty awful, sent a Mz Otis Regrets mass email and headed duvet-wards with Val McDermid. Every so often I pondered about how everyone might be getting on and thought how happy I was not to be there.

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dinosaur · 25/11/2006 13:38

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motherinferior · 25/11/2006 13:44

They are perky. I by contrast am feeling distinctly dodgy and am waiting for the full horror of their bug to hit me.

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