Help me overcome my inherent inferiority and be poised and insouciant at former works do tomorrow evening

[motherinferior]

Backstory: I worked part-time at a small think-tank a while back, part of my strategy for going freelance. Was not brilliant at the job partly because it was the sort of place where my role wasn't rvery easy; also because my heart was really in building up my freelance work (which I did); and also because my personal life was in a pretty horrific state at the time, as a result of which I had a spell of clinical depression. Eventually my job was closed down and I went totally freelance.

During my time there I wasn't, shall we say, the candidate for Ms Congeniality - I'm quite hard to work with even when not in a bit of a state.

In addition Mr Inferior who also worked there - before me, but that's how I met him - is frightfully congenial and will be met and greeted with cries of delight on all sides, thus increasing my grumpiness.

We'll be taking the Inferiorettes. I bet you a fiver people will say 'oh, are you getting a bit of work done now?' (always a sure-fire way of getting me ranting) and/or 'oh, how motherhood suits you' (ie you are really quite human and non-horrible now, what an amazingly transformation).

AND FINALLY...there may well be the Vacillating Buddhist there, the colleague with whom I had an affair before he dumbped me by long-distance phone call on Christmas Eve to return to his soulmate the Frigid Jungian Shrink.

I am not madly hog-whimpering wild at this prospect, as you can see.

I totally agree with Fennel and this is my plan: leave DP behind (he's been before, you haven't) with dds, one of whom is after all unwell.
You will have a fair crack at having a nice time (and achieving poise and insouciance) if you are unfettered for the evening.

Or we all go and feck off after an hour (this is the current plan).

I know most of my reason for wanting to go is sheer fury at the fact he's been invited to things there before and I haven't - or he's been asked to 'mention it to me'. I do want to demonstrate that I'm a functional human being with a decent job and lovely kids. And generally go ner ner ner ner.

Blimey MI, I'd be gibbering at the tought of this little get together. Don't you have to fly to New York for a very important meeting on this date???????
ARGH, on your behalf.

sure. it's just the way that somehow work colleagues remember the puking/incontinence/ruined clothes etc for years after the event, and somehow you end up receiving pity rather than envy for your (obviously successful and enviable) lifestyle.

errrrrrrrrrrrryes, I see that condescending pity is perhaps not to be sought after...I've found my plunge bra, though.

here's a thought - maybe Frigid Jungian will be on here the day after posting a thread entitled:

Title" OMG my DP's ex

...is a stunner - talk about norks + personality. God wish I'd met her before hooking up with Vacillating Buddhist....

don't go

I think the key here is your attitude - you want to positively shine, especially in front of any former loves.

Of course, your freelance work is going brilliantly, you're rushed off your feet for work, you've taken to motherhood like a duck to water and can swimmingly transfer your skills between being a superb writer and a rather fabulous homemaker.

And you have a pair of breasts that most women would die for (allegedly) so definitely show them off.

and if either of the children start acting up, thrust them upon dp and head for the opposite corner maintaining your air of unabashed brilliance.

And I always think custardo's f'ck 'em all attitude is the right one to start with. If it doesn't go well, adopt the 'who really cares' attitude. You did your best, they aren't your mates (and it doesn't sound like you want them to be), you've moved on since then and they're all b*stards anyway.

yeah anyway...don't go

but it sounds hideous

surely the fab thing about having kids is that you just dont have to go to things like this

The other thing about not going is I'd have to explain just how much I don't want to go to DP, and that would bring up the subject of the Vacillating Buddhist.

cant you just say it sounds hideous?

well ok go then but I bet something will catch you out and you'll wish you hadnt

Anyway, how come you have fantastic norks after having 2 children ?

oh Christ DON'T GO
what good could come of it?
get Mr I to say you are Too Too Busy with Work &c
(I love the way you write too btw)

He does know but it is one of those subjects Best Avoided, given I took up with him ahem on the 27 December following the Long Distance Dumping.

Also the whole scenario has a slight car-crash magnetism, doesn't it.

send a photo, poss video clip?

And now you lot will want to know too.

Well, you could imagine all the guests in their underwear. Except for the Vacillating Buddhist, of course.

to be fair MI you are making it sounds most intriguing....