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Original poster

stupid b*tch

133 replies

Yorkiegirl · 03/11/2006 13:41

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OP posts:
cupcakes · 03/11/2006 14:15

am so shocked.
were you able to replant dd's plant or was it thrown away?
Can you get something similar replanted before dd next visits the grave?

MrsDoolittle · 03/11/2006 14:16

I'm so sorry for you YG. I would have serious problems controlling my temper, which can be blistering, so I feel very angry on your behalf I hope your dd's don't find out

gscrym · 03/11/2006 14:16

I know this doesn't help now but if your little ones put plants on the grave, could you put a little tag on them saying that it's the kids who put them there for their dad. Or could there be an arrangement that the kids have one specific part that they can plant things. It's awful what your in-laws have done. I'm constantly amazed at how death brings out the worst in people.

gscrym · 03/11/2006 14:18

By the worst, I meant the way your in-laws have acted towards you since you since you contacted them about this.

MiaOUCHthatHURT · 03/11/2006 14:18

Yes, I got the impression there is "history" regarding the actions of SIL and MIL, Yorkie.

Nothing helpful to suggest at all

SpaceCadet · 03/11/2006 14:18

i cant believe that she would think it ok for someone to uproot the bulbs lovingly planted by her grandchild, i appreciate that your MIL is grieving for her son however, those little girls are grieving for their father and you for someone whjo you assumed you would share your old age with.
you would have thought that nigels loss would have caused his side of the family to pull together and support the family he left behind.

SpaceCadet · 03/11/2006 14:20

twig is probably right though..im guessing that at the moment, they are not looking beyond their own grief.

SSSandy · 03/11/2006 14:20

3 months, I'm so sorry, Yorkie.

harpsichordsgoingBANGandWHOOSH · 03/11/2006 14:21

fwiw my friend who was widowed a year ago is having just these kind of incidents.
it's deeply upsetting but after a death tto often there is this horrible jockeying for position and one up manship.
it's is so hard to cope with when you have so much else on your plate

LucyJones · 03/11/2006 14:23

I'm so sorry to hear this YG Agree with Twiglett. I can't understand how hard it must be for you but try to rise above it and be the better person.

SparklerMadMummy · 03/11/2006 14:30

OMG yorkie how awful for you

Original poster
Yorkiegirl · 03/11/2006 14:30

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StrawberryMoon · 03/11/2006 14:31

well Yorkie, your thread title was absolutely right for you, how dare they do as they please knowing your childrn have been planting things for their daddy there.
they should be ringing you and popping over, not other way around, they sound so self involved and petty..i understand they too are grieving but they are being selfish in their manner and its totally uncalled for!.
dont bother with them, concentrate on your and you children and like someone said speak to undertaker reg the flowers etc and in no uncertain terms call them/write to them and ask them to respect your wishes and you right as wife and owner of the plot...cheeky isnt in it

nailpolish · 03/11/2006 14:36

i would be extremely tempted to stop taking the dd's to see MIL if im honest with you

nailpolish · 03/11/2006 14:37

do they ask to go and see MIL?

or do you just go as you feel duty-bound

wannaBe1974 · 03/11/2006 14:39

grief does affect people in strange ways, and often it can drive families apart, because what for one is an acceptable way to grieve is not so for another and so on.

You mil is right in the sense that this is a place for Nigel's family to grieve for him and to remember him, but that also includes you and your dd's and she should be a bit more sensitive to that IMO.

Original poster
Yorkiegirl · 03/11/2006 14:40

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LadyHeatherMillsMcCartney · 03/11/2006 14:40

They are bang out of order Yorkie. Even if they were disrespecting you/Nigel how can they disrespect a little girl who has just lost her daddy. Im really angry too. But you know what - they have to live with themselves.

nailpolish · 03/11/2006 14:41

am i a terrible person for saying i would stop going to MIL's?

the less stress and upset in your life the better, yg

FioFio · 03/11/2006 14:42

This reply has been deleted

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NomDePlume · 03/11/2006 14:43

how utterly and completely awful .

I agree that grief makes people act very oddly, but to dig over DD's plants and not just plant around them with a little hand fork/trowel is very, very inconsiderate indeed (at best). I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this Yorkie. I can understand them wanting to add something to Nigel's grave, afterall he was/is their son/brother, but to raze the whole site is incomprehensible.

Original poster
Yorkiegirl · 03/11/2006 14:44

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nailpolish · 03/11/2006 14:44

wise words Fio

ComeOVeneer · 03/11/2006 14:45

I agree with the others on here who are saying you need to put a bit of space between you for a while. With all that is going onin your life atm you can waste your energy dealingwith them. Of corse they are grieving too, but that doesn't make excuses for this sort of behaviour. Focus your energies on you and your girls for the moment and let youIL's do some of the running for a change.

nailpolish · 03/11/2006 14:45

oh YG

what are you going to do