Swagger Inn Thread 71 - Wench like your life depends on it, which incidentally it does (if you're with the Cardnial)

[SisterHelenoftheEternalCatchUp]

Flings open doors dramatically..... (but looks a bit more cheerful than certain beardy sullen wall-leaners)

Lines up alcohol...

Musketeers at the ready....

Unleash the wenches....

Oh FGS don't wait up!! I've had wine. I have a baby pinning down my dominant arm. It's on a go slow.

anyway....in the spirit of fairness I need to produce something for everyone before putting it out here there.

stand down wenches...

Hahahahahaha! Brilliant x-post

Have a little teaser on me

" Mortified, it was all she could do to wrap her arms around his neck and hold on. Despite the layers of his unusual garb, she could feel all the muscles of his torso bunching and shifting as he moved, the sensation had her thoughts spinning in a gibbering whirl and before she could filter it out she heard herself ask “Are you going to take me all the way?” "

Have you seen filthy Tom Burke behind today's advent window Elk? "I've got an image in my head now."

Just sayin'

Mmmm I've got it now too Sparks

he's a dirty bugger......hot damn!

Morning all! Hope this week goes well fir you all.

Thank you for the brilliant commentary everyone

Fucksake. Have just seen while I was way the LET IT SNOW pretty window sticky thingies on my French doors now spell TENTS OH OH OH.

Teenage boys

Morning wenches. at tents oh oh oh

Both DC are flagging, DS1 in particular.

Have excellent days wenches.

At least it's clean sparks!

Morning everyone, am looking forward to having the house to myself today after the decorator being here all last week and exH being here most of the weekend. He went straight from here to the airport this morning. At 5.30am, so that woke me up, as did having a shower before leaving - having one the night before is 'not quite the same'. Selfish arse. So probably best to get moving or I'll start to flag.

Morning. Was having the usual grumpy start to the day when electrical contractor bloke dropped round with a report for me. Have been talking to him on the phone and picturing the usual - 40s, bald, beer belly etc (apologies to actual electricians). But oh my he was a bit if a treat. Early 30s, big thatch of dark hair, lovely eyes. They better give the best quote for the work . Cheered me right up it did.

Boring paperwork for me this morning. With special attention to the electricity report obvs.

Morning all.

fancy having a manshape who you are not even married to wake you up at stupid o clock must be REALLY annoying.

flopsy good luck with hosp appointment tomorrow!

mavis nice to see you

Had a lovely festive get together last night with friends, first use of the new extending table, woo! Only down side was ds flaked out with a cold virus, end of term has caught up with him too. :( Took him to school today cos he had no fever and theyre going to a panto today. Hope he's ok for the school play on thurs.

Anyway. Can yall post loads of links to interviews, videos and pix today, since it's my day off and I will actually be able to read them? (though I should be doing loads of other shit obvs.) Ahthankyaw.

Flops- good luck with appointment and making it through the week generally.

It would appear that I have succumbed to the flu rather than a cold. I still cannot speak and now can barely move. DH asked me to take the DC to school because he didn't start until 10. Big resounding NO. I had today off as holiday to do dissertation reading but I am taking the duvet to the sofa, attempting to find something to eat and going to watch last nights episode. I forgot how many great lines there are and Marie is awesome.

Morning peeps.

Nice one on the spark MrsB

MrElk had a close call on the way to work today, some twat very nearly turned him into a VW sandwich at 120mph. I feel a bit sick thinking about it.

Am not being very productive today. Loads to do though, I need a sound kick up the arse.

Morning.
Ds2 has the lurgy...cold, cough but no temp so off to school. I think they will both be off by the end of the week :(
Major issues on the m1 this morning so it took me 25 mins to do a 5 min trip. Just got ds2 to school before the gates closed.
Oh, and the tumble dryer seems to be broken.
Oh, and I can't get the sides off my oven to clean it.
Oh, and I have a mountain of ironing to do.
I might just go back to bed and try again in a bit.
Good luck flops x

I had a dream about tom last night! My first one!
It wasn't very dirty though :(
I asked him for an autograph and he looked me up and down, grinned and when I got the paper back he had written his mobile number on it and the words "call me"

Oh my god, I can still his wicked grin now!

Holding for some action in tonight's instalment!

ooh Badders....a serialised dream. Your subconscious must enjoy a bit of suspense! The next episode must not include ovens, ironing or the dryer - unless you are being bent backwards over it, m'K?

How dare you hitying on my husband!

Did he give you the wink Badders?

He did, he did :)

Scary stuff Elk isn't it. Was it icy or just someone being a twat? I often fervently wish for an anti-tank gun to attach to the front of my car to deal with all the idiots. Because I always have right of way of course not a particularly tolerant driver.

Plus it's not exactly helping your muse is it? How's that coming on by the way?

It was someone being a twat MrsB, he was descending a long hill, and someone thought they'd overtake coming the other way, despite there being a crawler lane on the uphill stretch. He had to slam his brakes on and locked his wheels up, fortunately the person behind had their wits about them too. Missed him by a whisker apparently .

In other news....I've just destroyed my moon cup. I was boiling it...and completely forgot about it!

FMMC

Sparks your boys aren't that imaginative, by just moving two letters they could have had Le Tits Now

In bigcitynearpantovenue doing last bits of Christmas shopping. Surprisingly busy for a Monday.

Panto is finally settling down after eight shows. Got 4 star review from bigcitynewspaper and they've never had more than 3 before, so everyone happy. Nearly had a fire evac during yesterday morning's show, the blue flashers went and I've never seen so many technicians run so fast