If you're happy to listen then here goes...
My grandson's mum and my son are no longer together. I still maintain contact with her and speak with her quite often.
On 31st January her cousin is getting married and she has already RSVP'd for her and the little fella. My ex in-laws 65th wedding anniversary celebrations have also been arranged for 31st January. My son found out today that she intends taking the child to the wedding and that he therefore will not be able to take him to the 65th anniversary party. He told his father who then called me. He now, simply because I happen to get along with the girl, expects me to phone her and tell her she must let the child go to his parents party because he suspects that it is the last time the family will all be together given his parents age.
I told my ex that it is none of my business any more than it is any of his and that the parents must sort it out between themselves. I also simply reminded him that her grandparents probably won't be around for many more family functions either and that perhaps is why she wants to take him to her family event.
Red rag to a bull that was. I was subjected to several minutes of yelling, threats and abuse by which time I was crying and becoming short of breath. I tried to ask why he thought I could do anything about it and a further abusive tirade followed following which he told me to fuck off and hung up.
I was in such a state by the time he hung up I couldn't catch my breath and had to use my inhaler.
I have spoken to my son who tells me he didn't ask his father to call me so why he did is still beyond me. I have no more influence over what she does with my grandson than I have over what my son does with him. They are his parents and have to make these decisions and compromises between themselves.
My ex has always had big ideas and a sense of self-importance and truly believes that when he has been involved in the planning of something then his needs and wants should take priority. I guess he is feeling angry because for once he can't do fuck all about the situation and needed a whipping boy - or girl in my case.
Sorry. I know there's nothing anyone can do about it here but just typing it out has helped me feel a bit better. It's convinced me of my ex's selfishness and reminded me just why he is my ex.
Thank you for listening 