Swagger Inn Thread 67 – Wenches, just ddooooooo iiiiiiit

[SisterHelenoftheEternalCatchUp]

Mops floor, wipes bar, cleans the empties, throws open doors and locks self in cellar with Musketeers...

I know Elk!!!!!

I'm going to take a shower now, I might be a while

They're not espadrilles. They are some winkle picker-dress type shoes. V v baaaaad.

I might have made it up re the O2 It's the National TV Awards in Jan which they presented at last year IN BLACK TIE & they may make the nominations shortlist for, this year. And I seem to think it may have been at the O2. Which is virtually at the end of my garden. Relatively.

Norah you may have to trim it down a bit. 140 characters & all that.....

We could have a party at your place Sparkle

They probably have crepe soles as well ffs.

Right.

'Why the fuck are you all dressed like fucking bellends? 1/5'

'Except, oddly, Tom. Well done you. 2/5'

'Was it a fucking bet? A fucking dare amongst fucking cockheads? 3/5'

'I fucking require fucking topless fucking photos of fucking each and everyfuckingone of you fucking dickhead fuckersz. 4/5'

'Except maimie. Well done, you look lovely unlike those fucking cunts next to you. Fucksake 5/5'

Here you go Norah, try this - should fit:
"why the fuck are you all fuckong dressed like fucking bellends? Except, oddly, Tom. Was it a fucking bet? Except maimie. You look lovely"

X post

Yeah. That's fine. Just don't link to any of the rest of our Twitter accounts, eh? #backstage passes

In other news I'm a bit arrrggghhhh that Papa C's page now has my Santi Please Stop Here sign on it Good job I have no shame....

Norah. Yep, you'll have to shorten it slightly . It's really made me laugh though. I truly don't know what's happened there. But also. Hate to pile on the pain. Brown trousers with black slip-ons. Nasty.

Sparks - I actually prefer the scoop neck tshirt SA style rather than the AK prem v neck T. So that's a plus. Plus Santi's boots are fine. He just needs more beardage.

I can't see them well but luca's boots look like they might have nasty gold zips on. But I might just be fanning the flames ....

I'm desperately trying to wipe my mind free from those images.

Etc etc.

Hey wenches! I'm still 7 pages behind but just wanted to say:

sparks, thank you for the Howie presents earlier I'd do him in or out of the hat. Those arms

norah, you've just made me snort-guffaw at all of your brilliant ranting containing lots of fucksakesorryfloppersz and what's wrong with women fuckingsorryflopperserz me?. Love it, I proper love how even mid-OTH rant, you're thinking of me.

Oh dear. And his last tweet before mine has the Pope in it. I'm going to hell in a handcart.

I've always thought one would meet a better class of people in hell....

and I was raised a catholic so I could do all sorts of naughty things and then just recant on my deathbed :)

Evening ladies.
COMTESS no words are necessary.

still scared after Norah's 6 - are you really supposed to have 2 cocks inside us at once? have you ever actually managed this? and [impressed]

I am on hudl and can see no photos..... gets out of warm bed (with electric blanket) to go off to get phone so can see SA photos etc.
I need to see tom looking good. and the kingy pauldron?

Sorry, bobbing back again but mouse, this is the best sweary rant ever. You have made me hurt my face grinning.

Apparently he heard me swearing a lot. (Dp carried them in, I unpacked). It went along the lines of 'this is a fucking piss take. I fucking ordered fucking nappies. When I fucking order them, that's what I fucking want. Not bloody fucking first pants. How the fuck are there no other bloody bastard nappies in the entire fucking bastard shop'.

So you want me to @sparkletits etc etc you all then yes?

Am in bed trying to get ds2 to sleep so goodnight lovely wenches.

Santi, don't you think that Santi is just one if those fab blokes that is uber hairy and once beardgate, he just wakes up the next day with 3/4 of a beard again!!!!?????

obs it was three cocks. And two hands.
floppers I always think of you.

Oh shit.
Um. You obviously haven't got to the end then yet?
Sorry floppersz my luvver but SLIP ONS AND A BOW TIE???
You have no idea how hard it was to type that and not say any swear words. THAT'S HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU. It actually physically hurt not to swear. For you. >

Obs . I bought a copy of Oblomov by Goncharov at a charity book fair the other day for no other reason but YOU. Didn't even read the back cover.

Agree totally Obs with hairy Santiness. I give you this Fenchery from Twitter as an example

twitter.com/thinkmags/status/537339705676013568

It's nearly back. But at not knowing which one he was!!!!!!

Waits for floppers to catch up and look at me with a very disappointed face.

but fuckingsorryfloppers SLIPONS and a fuckingsorryfloppers bow tie and too small fuckingsorryfloppers clothes? Srsly? How can I not swear?

OOOOHHHMEEEEEERRRRGEEEERRRDDDDD!!!!!!!!

HAAAAAAANNNNNAAAAHHHHHHHHH

COOOOOOOOOMMMMTTEEEEEEESSSSSSSS

Another one and thankfully you can only see one of Howie's shoes !

pbs.twimg.com/media/B3Tg811CYAEjllF.jpg:large

Comtess. snuggle snuggle