Swagger Inn Thread 67 – Wenches, just ddooooooo iiiiiiit

[SisterHelenoftheEternalCatchUp]

Mops floor, wipes bar, cleans the empties, throws open doors and locks self in cellar with Musketeers...

Ffs I'm looking on the interwebs for musketeer smut naturally anything rather than Xmas shopping tbh and I have found one.
Everything else is them getting it on with each other.
Why? Why is this? I mean great and all but why is there so much of it compared to man/woman stuff?

So you hear what I'm saying wenches?
We need to infiltrate these places, we can't be the only females wanting to read about females getting down and fucking (sorryflopperz) dirrrrrty with them. Can we?

I mean it's lovely reading about how Athos is wedged between Porthos' legs and that he can feel his boner in his back. It's lovely that Aramis sits astride him and that Porthos wanks them off together cock to cock as 'twere but honestly I'd rather read something slightly different. Ie me wedged against porthos' cock and Aramis shafting me from the front. Or something, you get me?

I get you Norah I don't understand that either

You're saying there is man on man Musketeer fan fiction out there but nothing else?

Grouch, grouch, grouch. Had hospital appointment first thing, so local train company decided to cancel 8 out of 12 trains between 7.30 and 8.30am, because of a points failure. No point even going to the station, so got bus, bus, tube, train to the hospital. There on time, got seen promptly (have to make another appointment, gaaah), now trying to get home, there is a security alert and nothing is going anywhere. FFS

Well...been to see mum. She is still full of snot.
Been to shops.
Bought more Xmas cards. Ffs.
Have just got he Xmas blankets down for the dc, and sorted our their stocking bits and pieces.
Bleached kitchen bin. Ewww.
Done dishes.
One load of washing on, another in the dryer.
I really really must iron today.
I really must.

Sounds like a nightmare cin!
Hope you are ok? X
Soooo glad I don't have to commute.
Got a busy day tomorrow so need to get shifting today really.

Pretty much lyndie yes. There's a bit but you have to look. really look and you take your chances tbh.

I've read two straight ones. One was utter filth, to the point I was a bit (and I've googled dragon butter etc etc).
a minging two day old dirty fanny anyone? Yup. Almost choking someone deep throat action? Yes. Shoving your (naturally) over sized cock into a virgin, and strangling her til she passes out but she still fucking (sorryflopperz) loves it? Yes sirree.
Or the sweet one about Porthos shagging a beaten wife. (Not being snarky, it is sweet) yes. But that one wasn't filthy enough
conveniently ignores the fact it was probably a bit along the same lines as sf tbh
So, the good ones that are just right filth wise are all slash and therefore not what I'm going to read. I so did a bit for research you understand

Fucksakesorryfloppersz

Shit cinn that's all really fuckingsorryfloppers shit. Hope you're ok and hope you get home soon. Perhaps try to find some smut to read? Seeing as how these fuckerz sorryflopperz can't be arsed to write anymore.

Not surprised by the bloke on bloke fan fiction, tbh. If you like anime theres a whole genre devoted to coming up with man on man stuff (yaoi).

cin what a pain in the arse. Hope you've had the chance to get a coffee or something.

I'm in awe of your efficiency badders .

I got up about an hour ago. Bit annoyed at Mr Mouse for waking me up though. I was having the most amazing dirty dream about Tim Roth. Need to crack on and tidy the house, we have a friend over to stay on Thursday.

You're right Norah, there does seem to be a disproportionately large amount of slash on those sites - initially made me , then now I'm , but it's been an education I suppose

.....must all the leather loving fraternity-ness (yeah, it's a word I probably made up, although I don't think it exclusively features in the realm of the Muskie fandom....they had a giggle about in on Graham Norton when they had James McAvoy on, or was it Bendydick Cumupmysnatch....I can't remember. One of those anyway.

Yes I remember that too, and it's great that people are able to explore their fantasies etc via who ever they feel inspired by. but why isn't there more man/woman stuff? As a genuine question, not as a mean and nasty point.

Anyway. I'm giving up. Although I do feel like contributing to it all by having my heroine take one in the vadge, one up the chuffer, one in the mouth and one in each hand. At the same time.
Which would frankly be ridiculous and yet hilarious

Not to mention a bit like trying to rub your tummy and pat your head, eh?

Though with the cast of TM right people, I'd be willing to give it a go. For research purposes.

Afternoon all

norah I'd read that.

I think it'd be fun to do a combined wench porn fic. You know like that game where you write a sentence, fold it over and pass it on. Don't know how exactly it would work, that's for a cleverer wench than me.

Hannah!!!!!!!

About time too!!!

I don't often lol, but the start of all the TavLit, Mouse, was a suggestion of doing exactly that, (consequences/porn), but people just started writing chapters instead, and we realised that it would be carnage anyway (cf rewatch x-posting)

hannah I think you'd just have to ride it out
Awww it's good to see you!

Well mouse originally that was hannah's idea I believe only in the true style of The Wench it all got a bit muddled.

Which musketeer and dog and Treville would have the smallest cock?
I'm thinking Athos (sorry). He's going up the chuffer.
Aramis or Dog up the vadge (second smallest).
But they'd have to lie on their backs, arse together and legs...I dunno.
Wench inserted on top.
Porthos in mouth (obviously)
Aramis/Dog and Trev in each hand.

You'd have to hope that the ones lying down could time their thrusts just so and that your movement would help you with the bj.
Arms would be easy.
Bit of a work out though...

Lol cin are you home yet?

FINALLY. Caught. Up.

Have just seen picture of Meatball's pizza. YUM. Books flight. Moving in!!!!!

Have finally seen the meet- MrsB announced it after commodities re-watch - that was why I missed it . Glad you had a lovely time, MrsB and Lyndie.

Laughing at Badvoc calling Dog Mowgli!!! ha ha ha

Only gets a snog from Norah, coz of me blue eyes. not brown

at the loss of Santi beard. Most SAD.

No man-on-man Musketter action for me Norah. I don't like the idea of Aramis wanking Athos and Porthos off. Not for me, thanks. I would rather Aramis stopped, And I did it - I wanked Athos and Porthos off. Then I'll give Aranis a nice bj!! No to men doing it, ME.

Yes, thanks, Norah. Just after I did the grouchy post, they reopened the station.

Maybe it would work if you were on top of one, with one behind, then one in each hand and one in mouth as before.

I'm picturing it Norah, I'm picturing it.....I wish to god I wasn't, but I am

HANNAH!! Where've ya bin??? You didn't have that much Christmas shopping to do surely?

Afternoon Hannah. Good to see you.

Is Cinn home? Nightmare!!

If you think about it, it's a very advanced wigwam. You'd need to do some serious limbering up beforehand...

Ok...one supine underneath, you facing, lying down. One behind, straddling all of you. One either side, in each hand.....but I can't work out where the 5th one would go, or how you'd get him in your gob without breaking your neck.

I need to go and do the hoovering

Thanks, Elk, I now have a mental picture of one of the blue musketeer cloaks covering a multi-headed, multi-limbed beast. Arf.

I'm almost tempted to draw a little stick-man diagram. But I won't.

Friend coming for coffee...so can't do the ironing now :)
Hope you are home now cin.
Hi Hannah.
Just watching Sherlock til my friend arrives...