*Warning a little explicit* Really so fuming with my dh. Have you ever found porn on the PC downloaded by your dh?

[fumingactually]

I cannot bring myself to post under my name so if you suspect trolling fair enough.

Ok I know it's more a guy thing and I never thought I would react in this way but think the way I found this stuff and recent events have all contributed to my feeling absolutely shit today.

DD wanted to see some video files of her we have on our PC,lately I have been sorting some of the earlier ones into folders etc. She is sat on my lap and I do a search for her stuff which is when she fiddles with the keyboard and unwittingly opens up an avi file with some really hardcore *nal stuff on it.

I was so shocked that I flustered a bit before I managed to grab the mouse. She said some stuff innocently and now keeps referring to mummy's bits and other parts of anatomy (the woman on the avi had dark colouring like me) I feel sick that she saying these things.

It's stuff that dh has been looking at for god knows how long and we had a huge row about it and I told him it was throughly irresponsible no different to him leaving dirty mags in her toybox downstairs. He was distraught and I'd say appeared pretty distraughtthat she had to see that.

Anyway off on a tangent now but dh has pretty much tried to get me to do stuff that I don't care for sexually and most of these files contain examples of this and I am left feeling hurt, inadequate and frankly very insecure.

I feel like this is a side to him that I could never see before and that he has been living a lie.

I'm not happy at all right now and my emotions feel so tangled.

FA - have you talked to your DH yet - anything to say for himself and how are you now? feeling any calmer with responses from your thread? Hope your DD's ok too.

i've found DH in the throws of enjoying porn on his computer!!!!

It's only natural though so i think you gotta give 'em a break.

I'd rather him do that then go elsewhere and it gets him off my back occasionaly, as long as i get it when i want it.

I have seen ALOT of porn, and no its NOT all about women being submissive.

I am sorry if my post came across as saying fa was uptight. I felt that the thread could easily turn into a 'men are all louts and porn is evil' type of affiar which I personally think IS an uptight and sexist attitude.

Its rather assumptive to say that ALL men like porn, or that ALL women prefer to be made love to. I like being fucked, I download and read porn myself as does DH and I enjoy sex!

I totally agree that the issue of dd seeing the porn is one that needs discussing. But he was careless not doing it deliberatly.

Wordsmith: why do you say romance requires imagination and porn doensn't? I would hardly describe a mills and boons cinderalla plotted story as intellectually challanging. Both that and porn require the same amount of imagination - the imgination to forget the dirty dishes, the school run, the day to day nitty gritty of relationhsips and invent a strong sexy male to stroke your brow and sweep you off your feet OR a sexy attractive female to have wild sex with.
I still dont' see the difference between the two escapist fantasies.

I think the imagination required for a Mills and Boon novel is a visual one - we don't see the people involved. But I suspect most people watching visual porn are busy imagining themselves as one of the people on screen, or somehow otherwise involved in the activities.

I think the distinction between explicit romance novels and video porn is that old "what turns me on is erotica, that stuff you like is porn" thing.

Oh FA i feel for you i really do, as i have said on posts before i have been here, my DH (ex sort of) is the nicest man in the world but he likes porn.
We split up a while back, we are on good terms and still very close, in fact getting on better now then in a long time, we grew apart, but the whole porn thing helped kill our marriage.
First it was mags, then vidoes and dvds then we got a pc!!! BIG MISTAKE
We had rowed enough over the videos and the D.V.D.s as DH would leave them lying about where little hands could have put them on, he even left them in the video player, i child locked a cupboard and put them in there telling DH if you want to watch them fine but keep them away from our sons.
Then there was the porn on the desk top, DP had logged on to it and could not get it off, cue phone call to friend "please de-porn the p.c",
DH could not see why i was so upset, after having to clean the P.C and remove virus time after time. i was also p*ssed off at having to pay the phone bill, and was worried that althought he was only looking at grown up doing things as hes not really good with the P.C he could have ended up finding something much worse without meaning to.
He even got out of bed one night after making love to me and went back to look at porn.
But he grew up in a house where porn was watched left around for anyone to pick up and thought that was the norm.
I think you need to have a long, calm talk with your dh. BUT PLEASE DONT FEEL THERE IS ANYTHING LACKING IN YOU THAT MAKES HIM DO THIS.

relare guide to sex in loving relationships.