Kirsty Allsopp says ditch university and have baby by 27

[Prettyinbeige]

www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2014/jun/02/kirstie-allsop-young-women-ditch-university-baby-by-27

I know it's different for everyone but I completely agree with this article.

For me having my son at 22 was the best thing I ever did. It made me a much stronger and more confident person, which then in turn has helped me in pursuing a career and building a life for us.
I think I would have found things a lot harder if I had built a career and a life to then have to sacrifice it in order to have a baby.

I also understand in some cases it isn't possible for people to have children before a certain age. But I guess what I'm saying is I see some sense in what Kirsty is saying

I think the gist of what KA is trying to say is don't leave it too late to have a family. I can see what she's getting at, sadly it doesn't always work out that way for everyone.

It's the luck of the draw when in your life you meet the partner to have babies with.

if men could have babies, they'd be women, ie the 'second sex' since the ability of men to dominate very probably all stems from the fact that it's women that have the babies!

I don't see why you can't do both. I had my daughter at 17 and graduated from university at 21. Obviously I know that not everyone is willing to leave their babies in childcare as young as I did, but even waiting a few years would leave you at the under-27 mark.

Why does anyone care what way round other people do it anyway? Kirsty Allsop does my head in...

I just realised that my post came across as "ooh gimme a gold star!" I didn't mean it like that! I meant that Kirsty Allsop should accept that everyone does things in their own time - what works for them works. Having children young doesn't mean that you have to pack in the textbooks and take out the baking tray. You can do either or both!

It's not just study and career though, is it?

It's about travelling, seeing the world, meeting people, having care-free fun and experiences.

You can do these things with babies/young children in tow, but it's nowhere near as much fun as doing it unencumbered.

You're only young once. On the other hand, you have your entire rest of life for domesticity.

How does a young woman without a decent education earn enough to save a deposit and buy property and have children and pay child care in the current economy? And where to meet a man who wants to support this in his early 20s? This is the imaginary musings of a rich privileged woman to an imaginary daughter. The reality for most women is much different. It sounds like passing the responsibility totally to women and making them vulnerable esp if they are to start careers once they have children. It us hard enough to get employers to accommodate parenthood when you are established in a career and have certain rights without starting at a disadvantage by trying to get a career off the ground with young children

Japanese it's down to each individual though, no?

I would be a liar if I said that there weren't times when I wished I could party in Ibiza with my friends, but the time I have with my family outweigh those thoughts, and the fun times I do have partying on those occasions that I actually have a babysitter fulfil my partying needs.
By the time DD is 18 and off to uni or old enough to look after herself for a bit, I'll be 35. Still young enough to travel IMO!

(Sorry if your post wasn't aimed at me!)

Fine for Kirsty Allsop to have and express her opinions but why would any of us repeat them? She's not qualified to comment on this issue.

Oh come off it, a lot of parenthood is excruciatingly boring and does make one accordingly boring to match.

People who have babies young are often more maternal thats why they prioritise children so people will have differing opinions on this

Being a mother is end of being interesting,nor is it necessarily the beginning of interesting
We also need to disavow ourselves that mothers are great,special or goddesses
This notion that motherhood as zenith of female is pernicious and false

Sorry but in my experience being at uni / studying with kids is way easier than a FT career job with kids.

Had my dd at 18 then went to uni cos it was important to me. Graduated first class honours in maths then did an msc. Never held me back.

But it has held me back at work as junior peers did not have the limitations I do. I am now 3yrs into my career only and I am 28.

Would have preferred to get senior in my job before having kids. Now have the worst of both worlds as clock is ticking now but taking me longer to climb the ladder cos of home commitments.

If I had not gone to uni I would be screwed right now. Kirsty can jog on

Is this thread still going!

I am not defined only by the fact that I am a mother, just as I am not defined only by my job or my nationality or my background or my politics or my partner or my education - I am me, and my life is mine and it panned out the way it did.
For a variety of reasons, none of which have anything to do with KA.

Would I have chased to do anything differently if I had read that interview with her some 20 years ago? I really don't think so….

As if women don't know that fertility declines with age (although that fertility 'falls off a cliff after 35' has been quite comprehensively disproven) or that education is important.

FFS. I am not so bored of KA's opinion.
Fair enough topic of conversation to have with your mates on a Friday night out, but if she were not the slab she is, who'd print these platitudes?

I am happy for her, really, I am. Her life's great. Good on her. So is mine although my choices (some of which were not choices but foisted upon me) were quite different. Good on me

Hear, hear, Sillylass, to your last 2 posts - I totally agree.

So true sillilass!

My mum, an academic turned housewife, used to say the same.

Incidentally she is a very interesting person with very diverse friends.

Ignorant question but does fertility "fall off a cliff" after 35? I ask because I had my second at 36 and most people I know were that age or over. I do know some who had problems conceiving but in every case they had conditions they were already aware of.

I know anecdotes don't make a theory and my question is probably very insensitive to anyone having a problem, for that I apologise, but I hear that statement a lot and I'm surprised my reality is quite so different. I expected to struggle conceiving and was quite concerned about friends leaving it later.

KA was saying this same stuff on Question Time recently. It concerns me that so many people, including some on this thread, are still spouting the old 'fertility falls off a cliff at 35' nonsense. In case no one has pointed it out yet, this notion is largely based on data from the 1700s! A more recent survey showed that the outlook is considerably more positive than that. Of course we all known or declines with age but, well, we all know that! We don't need to be told!

DH and I split the childcare 50:50. If I was doing most of it myself I'd be run ragged but this way works for us and neither of feels we're trying to "have it all" etc.

If I'd had a baby with my boyfriend at 21 I would be single mother forced to keep in touch with a guy who spied on my friend on the loo. Damn, why did I let that one go?

Eddie, no there is no fertility 'cliff' (other than the menopause of course)

Btw, I've just realised I (or rather autocorrect) called AK a 'slab' , my apologies - I meant 'sleb'

Eddie no

*“According to author Sylvia Hewlett, career women shouldn’t wait to have babies, because our fertility takes a steep drop-off after age 27,” Tina Fey said during a “Weekend Update” sketch. “And Sylvia’s right; I definitely should have had a baby when I was 27, living in Chicago over a biker bar, pulling down a cool $12,000 a year. That would have worked out great.” Rachel Dratch said, “Yeah. Sylvia, um, thanks for reminding me that I have to hurry up and have a baby. Uh, me and my four cats will get right on that.”

“My neighbor has this adorable, cute little Chinese baby that speaks Italian,” noted Amy Poehler. “So, you know, I’ll just buy one of those.” Maya Rudolph rounded out the rant: “Yeah, Sylvia, maybe your next book should tell men our age to stop playing Grand Theft Auto III and holding out for the chick from Alias.” (“You’re not gonna get the chick from Alias,” Fey advised.)

Eleven years later, these four women have eight children among them, all but one born when they were older than 35. It’s good to be right.*

Great link, isshoes
I love those women