Kirsty Allsopp says ditch university and have baby by 27

[Prettyinbeige]

www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2014/jun/02/kirstie-allsop-young-women-ditch-university-baby-by-27

I know it's different for everyone but I completely agree with this article.

For me having my son at 22 was the best thing I ever did. It made me a much stronger and more confident person, which then in turn has helped me in pursuing a career and building a life for us.
I think I would have found things a lot harder if I had built a career and a life to then have to sacrifice it in order to have a baby.

I also understand in some cases it isn't possible for people to have children before a certain age. But I guess what I'm saying is I see some sense in what Kirsty is saying

I wonder how many parents would be able to hand their daughter £40000 to put down as a deposit on their own flat? Probably not many!!! She clearly realises the issues of massive house price rises partly caused by her ridiculous programmes. I would have thought a 40 year old who had spent her 20's having babies wouldn't take too kindly to having to do childcare for her grandchildren when she was in the middle of her degree and trying to build up a career. The average age for women to have their last child in the 1920's was 42. We have heard doctors saying that fertility scaremongering is causing g a massive rise in abortions in women over 35. Women know the stories. We are human beings with brains who can make decisions based on all the facts and our lives. We don't need KA pontificating from a position of privilege that most of us will never see.

wanted to write what nooka did - finding a partner before you know yourself is a hell of a lot more risky than going to university. You certainly have better chances conceiving at 35 than still being with the boyfriend you chose at 18 years old.

And yes, if you could work because your parents did the childcare then wouldn't your own DC expect the same? Meaning that you can't really concentrate on your career once your DC are grown, you'll be babysitting to help them.

I haven't read the entire thread but really??? In theory absolutely marvellous, do not get me wrong, babies before thirty was absolutely my aim but in the event finding a male of the species to have them with really was more challenging than this advice suggests. I'd also agree with not going to university until later is a good idea if you don't know what you want to do, sorry too expensive a mistake these days. However it frustrates me beyond words that such a glib comment gets such coverage when a cross the country many thirty something women will be grinding their teeth and smiling professionally while trying not to weep with frustration.

Stick to the houses and the bunting Kirstie......grrrrrr

You can babysit grandchildren and have a full time job. I manage to have a full time job and help my sister with childcare too as well as having my own 6yo. My own mother had my DS once a week when he was younger a MIL had him another day a week and they worked too

I think she is coming to this safe in the knowledge that her parents would have found her a nice flat and "a nice boyfriend"- lucky her
So back in the real world...

I know several women who had DC young, put their education and careers on hold and are now struggling with finances, Uni and childcare - of course they don't regret their DC but its bloody hard for them.

www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/telly-idiots-being-treated-like-tribal-elders-2014060387156

Employers attitudes would have to change as well if this was not to disadvantage women. In general employers don't like risk - they like what they know. I came out of Uni in early '90's during the depression then. There was basically minimal graduate recruitment for about 2 or 3 years. We were all basically fucked- had to take shit jobs, had to go back into University. Just like graduates today.
When employers did realise a few years later they had a masive hole in their employment structure and started recruiting again they were basically suspicious of anyone not straight out of Uni. I listened to a radio programme last year where employers were admitting it was the same today. I can imagine women who have kids and have gone back meeting the same resistance- a man straight out of Uni would have a massive advantage.

There is no way KA's vision is ever going to happen for the simple reason that it doesn't advantage men to do it.

My own mother had my DS once a week when he was younger a MIL had him another day a week and they worked too

Well then they didn't work FT like you plan to?

Can't help arguing Pretty as you sound so sure you have the answer when in fact there must have been lot's of luck. My DCs are all over the country/world, going where the jobs are. Did all your family own properties in London near you? That's not a common scenario.

For me having my son at 22 was the best thing I ever did. It made me a much stronger and more confident person, which then in turn has helped me in pursuing a career and building a life for us.
I think I would have found things a lot harder if I had built a career and a life to then have to sacrifice it in order to have a baby.

For me, completing my degree at 22 was the best thing I ever did. It made me a much stronger and more confident person, which then in turn has helped me in pursuing a career and building a life for me and any future children I may have.
I think I would have found things a lot harder if I had built a family and a life to then have to sacrifice it in order to continue my education.

Goes both ways, innit.
What a stupid thread.

I think KA is right in a small way - you do have to realistically evaluate how you are going to fit children and career and everything else into your life. This does not however mean girls having babies as early as possible.

I went to university at 18, got a job with a magic circle law firm and then reflected whether I wanted to go down the partnership route and sell my soul or do something else.

I adjusted my career slightly (although remaining in law). Gave up the prospect of partnership but went down a route that allows me to work flexibly.

I got married at 25. At the time, niether DH nor I wanted children. However, when it came to considering them too, as I was the higher earner, we agreed that he too needed to consider how he was going to structure his career to accommodate them.

I had my children at 33 and 34. Dh and I have juggled them between us.

We have a great life and are lucky. However, we did both make sensible choices about what we wanted and what we could afford.

I think this is the message that young people should be given. Consider your whole life plan early on. Not in detail, but have a sense of when you think you would like to do things and then decide are you are going to manage that.

I think the best - pretty much the universally best - thing you can do (assuming you're straight) is meet a nice, decent man who wants to raise a family with you, and who's willing to shoulder half that load.

And exactly when you meet that right person is the million dollar question.

Not bloody point throwing yourself into all those best laid plans at 22 years of age, if the man on the scene is a total dud, or completely absent from your life!

Dozie they did work full time and so do I, yes we do all live close to each other (not in London though?!?) I have said previously that I am very lucky and that it couldnt work out this way for everyone.

I get that Margaret, but that's something I wouldn't have wanted at 20, 25, or even 30. I wasn't ready to do that with anyone, nice or not nice.

The important thing is to be true to yourself (naff!)

Truffle I completed my degree at 21 which was also a great stepping stone for me but it worked out a lot better to pursue a family and a career at the same time.

What are these full-time jobs you all have that give so much free time for childminding. And can I have one please?

I work 40 hours a week over 4 days that's still 3 days a week left of free time. I am not trying to say everyone should do what I have done.
But it's just very strange that a number of people feel the need to try and find flaws and holes in what I have done with my life rather than just see it as another life experience.
If you don't agree fine but there is certainly no disagreeing that it worked out for me

Pretty, you are 28, you have no idea if it will work out for you in the long run!

I'm sorry if it feels that people are picking on you, but you are the one saying Kirsty has it right, that way is the best. People should ditch uni and become a young mum, that GPS should help the kids. It is that people are questioning.

You admit you've had luck - mum and m-i-law close by, who work full time but had plenty of time to babysit, and that's really important. I would say family help is one of the biggest factors for women who manage to combine a career and a family but that's not a given regardless of age.

I am 25, doing a psychology degree and have two children. One of which was born when i was 18. It's hard to study with kids. I wish I did it before. But in all honestly, I'm not sure what KA has to back up this comment?

I didn't WANT to have kids until i was in my 30s

my teens and 20s were fucking great. I had all sorts of jobs and all sorts of men all over the world. Ive had lots of experiences and met lots of people and had a great time. I went to university (bit later than standard) and enjoyed it.

i now have kids and a career. I work hard part time. Am continually knackered and skint.

i wouldnt change what i did for anything or anyone.

having a 'career and kids' isn't the beginning and the end, of life/being a woman!!

what is this thread even??? I did it better than you??

Pretty you completed your University education before you had a child.
That's completely different to what KA is pushing as the ideal.

As I said up thread I know several women with DC who are combining a challenging Uni degree with childcare and financial issues and finding time to study extensively.
Its a killer - even with family support.

Going back to the idea that you have DC before Uni, then go back to your education in your late 30s/early 40s - that's 15 plus years of loss of earning potential and pension contributions.

Is this the same Location Location woman who bought a house near Nigel Mansell and then got super cross when he wanted to upgrade the pre existing go-cart track?

Or is it the Kirstie Allsop who bought a place in Hartland near a house used for weekend swinging parties (always very polite bunch say the local shop), ploughed an extra drive through her neighbours field without permission and feel out big time, the neighbours eventually were forced to move, refused to sell to K and the local nickname "Meadowhate" has stuck for Kirsties house.
Viv Westwood son bought the swingers house with his fancy knicker money.

May be the research skills one tends to pick up at university could have helped avoid such poor decision making or may be a pick fat pot of cash is the only answer.

Ps Pretty im glad it all worked out for you

Sorry forgot local newspaper link