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Original poster

Parents who take their nannies on holiday

123 replies

TheDullWitch · 30/08/2006 21:27

Noticed a lot of this on holiday. This writer seems to think it s a bad idea. I came across one mother who was moaning about hols with young kids, then I noticed next morning at breakfast she'd brought her Filipino nanny!

it's here

I kind of think it stops you being a proper family, however convenient.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 30/08/2006 21:30

why doesn't it surprise me that this as a Guardian article?

this country makes me laugh as much as i did in America.

go ahead and flame, i'm too depressed to care, what the hell is the point of taking a nanny w/you on holiday?

isn't it just doing what you normally do anyhow, in a different location?

if having kids is such a burden, why bother? b/c everyone else is?

some people are really pitiful, you know.

princessmel · 30/08/2006 21:31

I agree and I am a qualified Nanny!! (not nannying now)I never wanted to go on holiday with any of my jobs. I would have felt like such a spare part no matter how long I'd been with them. Holidays are family time.

dmo · 30/08/2006 21:52

when is the nanny supposed to have her hols
best time would be when family are off on their hols
some people make me laugh

christie1 · 31/08/2006 02:50

I was shocked when friends of mine showed up one summer on holidays for a bar-b-que with their nanny. They were travelling for 2 weeks around our area they had a mini-van and the nanny was stuck in the back with the 3 kids under 4. The adults ate and she was expected to entertain the kids (all our kids). It was horrible. I brought her food and told her to not worry about my kids. When it was clean up, she came in and started to load my dishwasher. Yes, I stopped her and told her to go eat. My other friend (my nanny toting friends were staying with her) laughed and told me I was crazy as she had not done dishes in a week while the nanny was staying with her. I was appalled and can never think the same about these friends again.

WideWebWitch · 31/08/2006 06:53

Well, I know someone who took her nanny on holiday, at my suggestion. BUT the nanny was responsible for getting up in the mornings with 1 small child so the parents got a lie in, which made it an actual holiday for them, rather than childcare somewhere different. Then they spent all day with their child while nanny went off and did her own thing, so I suppose it's different to this. I don't see the problem with that tbh. OTOH I do think going on holiday with your children and then not spending ANY time with them is pointless. I like my children and I like spending time with them but I certainly wouldn't turn my nose up at the odd few hours of childcare here and there so I get to read a book/talk to my husband uninterrupted/sleep in. That's why holidays with childcare are so popular. Not that I've ever had one, so I can't put my money where my mouth is wrt this, we do holidays with our children and no childcare.

But I don't do mummy martydom, I will very happily pay someone to do the dull, horrible bits of parenting/life and would have had a night nanny like a shot if we had had the money. Because at one point both of us were working ft oth and dd was 1.3 and hadn't slept a full night since she was born. It put a hell of a strain on us and if I could have paid to take that pain away I would have done, like a shot. And I pay someone to clean my house because I haven't got the time or inclination.

But I do agree, if you go on holiday with your children and don't spend any time with them at all then it's sad, what they want is your attention and time and if you can't give them any of that at all, what's the point? I just get a bit impatient with this 'if you don't like every single bit of parenthood and choose not to do some of it you're a bitch (and it is often the mother being criticised)' - it's so often not as simple as that imo and e.

QueenPeaHead · 31/08/2006 07:57

god you are all so ridiculous about childcare.

i brought a nanny on holiday with us. she sat in the house and watched the 7month old nap twice a day so that we could go to the beach with the 8, 5 and 3 year olds. ditto babysat the 3 yo and baby in the evenings when the older ones came out with us for dinner. how on earth is that a bad thing? would we all have had a much better holiday if we'd been ruled by the timetable of a 7 mth old? has my bond with my baby been ruined because I wasn't the one spooning peach puree into her mouth 3 times a day?

purleease.

QueenPeaHead · 31/08/2006 07:58

ps www I exclude you from my "you are all so ridiculous" generalisation, obviously.

you are clearly a woman who understands holidays (in SO many senses!)

psychomum5 · 31/08/2006 08:12

not read tha article yet so may be speaking out of turn here but....

I am a trained nanny, altho a non working one now as am raising my own kiddies, but when I nannied I went away with the family.

I loved it to be honest.....they took me to the south of france once, and skiing another time in austria, and both was something I remember as something lovely and it is also something I will probably never afford to do for myself.

On one of the holidays (the skiing one), it wasn't overly fair as they went with another 2 families and so I also had their kiddies in my care (made 7 kiddies in all), but they made sure I still had my time off and they also took me skiing too. And I got paid for it!!

for them and for me it was a good thing.....they knew they childcare, as did the kiddies, and I got a holiday too all be it a working one.

In fact, the money I got for the skiing trip (as it was three families paying), paid for my honeymoon so it was a huge benifit for me and DH.

I have to say.....it wasn't as tho the familiy was expecting me to make my time on holiday with them my holiday....I still got my regular 4wks owed to me.

I do realise that holidays are supposed to be familiy times, but for some families who employ nannies, they simply aren't used to spending 100% of their time with their children, and nor are the children used to their parents 100% of the time either, and so to take a nanny is the bast for all. Not least that then the children still have normality!

psychomum5 · 31/08/2006 08:20

and in fact thinking about it...I would love to take a nanny with me on hols so I get to have time alone with DH, and then have time with the children too.

plus.....going on from queenpea....the family I nannied for had a older girl and then very boisterous twin boys. I was more often just with the boys while they spent some much needed quality time with their daughter, as she was often left out by them in favour of the boys simply because, as twins, they demanded more attention and also needed 100% eyes on them at all times for fear of them killing themsleves with the joint climbing skills they often displayed (which is prompting a not good memory of me climbing 20ft up a tree to rescue the pair of them one day when I wasn't watching them!! {the tree was in their garden by the way}).

harpsichordcarrier · 31/08/2006 08:25

lots of people take grandparents on holiday with them to get a break - I think this article is tinged with a bit of Guardianista class consciousness/guilt.
so say the least.

Jimjams2 · 31/08/2006 08:27

Depends how the nanny is "used". Watching a baby who sleeps then goes off to do their own thing is different from using the nanny to do everything whilst everyone else forgets the use of their legs.

Absolutely horried at Christies example. Mind you sat next to a similar group at a restaurant recently (our anniversary meal)who were off to France or somewhere and taking "Katie" who was simply "fabulous" because katie looked after all the children (including the extras- cousins etc) so the adults could read and sleep (whist katie seemed to do everything).

Listening to their version of "reality" completely ruined our aniversary meal.

harpsichordcarrier · 31/08/2006 08:32

to add my own horror story - I was once invited to a wedding (child free ) and told I could leave my child with "the nanny", the nanny of the bride's business partner.
I spoke to her later, and she was looking after about eight or nine children of various ages. For no extra money. Walking them around the gardens - thank goodness it was a warm day otherwise they would have been crammed into someone's living room.

MaloryTowersIsSlimAndChic · 31/08/2006 08:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twiglett · 31/08/2006 08:41

I'd love to be able to take a nanny with me .. but then I'm with my kids all the time so holidays are just more of the same

I love it .. but oh someone else to take kids for an afternoon so DH and I could sneak off and do something for us alone .. that would be luv-er-ly

all I want is a room somewhere
far away from the cold night air
with one enormous chair (with a nanny in it)
oh wouldn't it be luv-er-ly

morningpaper · 31/08/2006 08:48

I kind of think it stops you being a proper family

EXACTLY! What BLISS! I could actually RELAX. The thought of having a drink with DH and sitting down and reading a book for an hour and chatting to each other on a sunny beach ... Jeez we've not done that for five years now. It's hardly wildly selfish to want to re-create a few hours of that before they've gone to university, is it?

MrsFio · 31/08/2006 08:51

I am part living in a future fantasy but if I ever earn enough money to employ a nanny (which I hope I will) it would just be fantastic to take her on holiday! But the actual reality of the matter is I am young working class woman who manages woolies on a weekend so it will never happen

edam · 31/08/2006 09:02

It's a good thing if you behave reasonably and a bad thing if you are just treating the nanny like a drudge. IMO. I think our nanny would be happy to go on holiday with us, tbh. And it would be lovely to have some time on our own, or even on MY own, esp. in the evening. But we can't afford the extra travel/ accommodation costs and even if we could, I'd feel guilty about it. Holidays are a chance to spend more time with ds, not less.

hunkermunker · 31/08/2006 09:06

What's a holiday?

Pamina3 · 31/08/2006 09:08

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

morningpaper · 31/08/2006 09:09

I don't know hunker. What's a 'nanny'? Sounds fabulous.

hunkermunker · 31/08/2006 09:12

It's like some kind of parallel universe I think, MP.

Although we did have two nights away at the beginning of the week, it was just being awake in another part of the country. And then when I dropped off just as it was morning, DS1 stood up in his travel cot and said "morning, morning!" And the next morning he said "Purple peg!" in very excited tones to wake me up. DS2 just fed all night, as usual.

So some families take a nanny with them to do some of the dull bits and let their parents sleep a bit more than usual? Good on 'em. The parents who treat said nanny like shit - well, there's a special circle in hell for them

batters · 31/08/2006 09:13

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wheresmyfroggy · 31/08/2006 09:17

Oh if only...........
Might even get to eat a meal without playing pass the baby and catch the toddler, pure bliss.

ocd · 31/08/2006 09:18

ooh ooh yes dully i have THINGS TO SAY ont his issue. shal i email?

MaloryTowersIsSlimAndChic · 31/08/2006 09:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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