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Original poster

Weird thing happened today. What would you do - quick poll?

55 replies

Tinker · 14/03/2004 20:37

Phone rang and my daughter picked it up. It then went dead. Did 1471 and it was the number of a friend I fell out with 3 years ago.

What would you do? Ring back? Or assume they'd rang it by mistake and leave it?

OP posts:
jampot · 14/03/2004 21:17

I would call her Tinker - maybe she wanted to get straight through to you and didn't want to ask for you. Go on - call her!!!!!!!!!

lou33 · 14/03/2004 21:24

Did she call you from a mobile? If so you could text her.

Original poster
Tinker · 14/03/2004 21:25

No lou, landline... Wondering if the moment's gone now...

OP posts:
lou33 · 14/03/2004 21:29

I think if you are still thinking it over then it sounds like you want to be back in touch. If you didn't, you wouldn't be so worried about being rejected. I guess you could call her to see if she did want you, but prepare for the fact it could have ben a wrong number. Good luck anyway

kaz33 · 14/03/2004 21:30

Not even a hour - go on call her !

Original poster
Tinker · 14/03/2004 21:30

Cheers. Will ponder more.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tinker · 14/03/2004 21:31

No, kaz, it was this pm.

OP posts:
Zoe · 14/03/2004 21:33

Does she/did she work in the day? You could ring during working hours and leave a message on her answermachine (if she has one ) - ball back in her court again.

lou33 · 14/03/2004 21:33

If you phone her and she isn't interested at least you know for sure. And you can also come across as dignified and adult, making her seem petty and stupid .

Original poster
Tinker · 14/03/2004 21:38

I know she's changed jobs in the meantime, don't know here she work now. TBH, if I did, I think by now I may have sent a tentative email.

Anyway, better go boyfriend's wondering what I'm doing. He just said 'Oh she's done it by mistake' when I told him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tinker · 14/03/2004 21:39

Have to say, I don't think she'd be rude, it'd just be very awkward.

OP posts:
lou33 · 14/03/2004 21:39

Email is a good alternative.

jampot · 14/03/2004 21:41

Men say things like that - Send him out for a curry and call when he's away!

WideWebWitch · 14/03/2004 21:45

God Tinks, I'm dying to know what you fell out about now! Can you bear to tell us? I'm very nosey though and understand if you can't. You mean your dp doesn't know about mumsnet? And the court of mumsnet? Ah well, maybe it's better that way

tigermoth · 15/03/2004 08:04

oh tinker, have you done anything?

A similar thing happened to me only in reverse. My son was fiddling with my mobile and dialed the number of a friend I had fallen out with - and the phone call was at some ungodly hour in the morning. My ex friend picked up the phone and I ended the call without saying anything. She phoned back and left a message. I did not return it. In the message she just said, returning your call. She didn't imply she knew who I was. I have no idea if she knew in reality. I didn't want to rekindle the frienship and just let it lie.

To be honest, if you think you might want to talk to her, I'd leave a quick, neutral message on her home phone. Do it at some odd hour early in the morning possibly, when she's unlikely to be up. Do not imply in your message that you know it's her. If she wants to hear from you, she won't mind the phone ringing so early and if it was a mistake, then nothing has been lost.

Alternatively, you could phone her from a strange number to see if she is in. If she answers, just put the phone down. If she is not in, phone her from your proper phone and leave a message. Bit contrived, but a possible solution?

fisil · 15/03/2004 08:16

Tinker, I think I agree with you - I wouldn't. Although you looked her number up, you did remember it, didn't you - you knew which number to look up. So she may well know your number off by heart still. I got a card at my parents house at Xmas from a friend I hadn't seen since leaving school 10 years ago. She said she was at her parents house for Xmas, so I just picked up the phone and rang - didn't think twice. I would err on the side of thinking she got a wrong number, and will try again if she didn't.

ks · 15/03/2004 09:11

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Original poster
Tinker · 15/03/2004 13:09

LOL tigermoth - I do like how your mind works. I always try to construct convoluted plans like this. Trouble is, I'm sure she'd know I know her number so would find it hard to leave a neutral message.

Fisil - mine's quite an easy number to remember. I agree, I just don't think you really forget your firend's numbers that easily.

ks - still don't know what to do. Think the trail's gone cold, should have seized the moment etc. Do wish we hadn't fallen out. Grrr, if I knew her email address life be so much simpler...

OP posts:
Fizog · 15/03/2004 13:25

Couldn't you just phone and say, dd picked up the call yesterday, you did 1471, it was her number, you weren't sure if she'd called by accident and that you didn't know if you should call back, you wanted to but didn't know what to expect and that it would be lovely to see her again so would she like to pop round for a coffee on Saturday morning. She could be feeling as apprehensive as you.

That's what I would do.

dinosaur · 15/03/2004 17:18

We got a call today from someone we fell out with in the Autumn, and though I swore blind at the time that I never wanted anything more to do with this person again, I'm just so pleased about it now!

So my advice would be - ring back!

Coddy · 15/03/2004 17:22

Leave it

Beetybeetybangbang · 15/03/2004 17:23

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SoupDragon · 15/03/2004 17:23

I'd be seriously p*ed off if someone deliberately phoned me at an ungodly hour!!

scoobysnax · 15/03/2004 18:07

If you're after an apology from her then let her phone you again.

If you want to resurrect the friendship without an apology from her then just call and say you were thinking about her, and would she like to go for a coffee sometime?

tigermoth · 15/03/2004 19:30

ahh soupdragon, but I see it as a test of friendship

tinker, ok so you can't leave a neutral message because it would sound too false to your friend. Well how about leaving a politely hurried message? ie 'hello did you call me? just returning your message' - short, brisk, and to the point. That might stop the wondering on your part, and if your friend does want to see you, it gives her and 'in'.

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