Do NOT attempt to try on a dress a size too small in Miss Selfridge, when there are 6 teenage girls standing directly outside your cubicle, you haven't waxed your bikini line for 7 years and you have stretchmarks up to your armpits, with your toddler...

[FrannyandZooey]

Just don't, ok? It's best all round.

Oh dear ...

i didn't even realise miss selfridge was still going. i won't even attempt it, my pant moustache will not be ridiculed by teenagers

oh dear god. a similar thing happened to me in my teens when i was painfully shy overweight & it was when most clothes shops had those god awful "communal" fitting rooms. I got a shirt stuck over my head. couldn't get it on. couldn't get it off. hadn't shaved my armpits. started to sweat. oh the memory. i'm off to get a glass of wine

lol - did toddler start moaning and buggy fall over backwards as you took him out?

Put it this way, I think there are probably 6 teenage girls in Essex who will not be getting pregnant any time soon, so in a way I was performing a public service.

your thread title made me lol!
i wouldne even dare to go in miss selfridge unless i was helping dd clothes shop!
if i tried anything on in there, teenagers would be howling with laughter(and i dont think they do plus sizes)

what the hell are you doing in Miss Selfridge in the first place .. you're a mother fgs

rofl

Apronstrings, much worse. I could not get the buggy in the cubicle with me (funnily enough they don't seem to have put parents' needs at the forefront of their shop design), so he came in with me sans buggy.

I felt anxious to begin with, but he stood very still and patiently until I was stood with the dress stuck over my head, scary bikini line and stretchmarks hanging out, before dramatically pulling the curtain right back with a flourish and an ear-splitting yell.

I couldn't help noticing the girls all had their hand over their mouths - whether they were laughing or trying not to vomit I am not sure

Care to elaborate? Do they not have a hooter like Topshop?

(am cringing on your behalf already though)

actually franny can carry off the miss selfridge thing being tall and skinny

They have a hooter?!
Do they blow it when stretchmarks are a-shining and ugly greying underwear is on show?

Twiglett, it was a rash action, which I will not be repeating. They had the most gorgeous shirt dress in the window and ds seemed in a v calm and angelic mood.

I did stalk out with my head held high though, and maintained an air of wounded dignity despite ds screaming with snot running down his face (I had put the fear of god into him after the curtain wafting incident )

Topshop has a hooter that sounds if someone over 30 enters the shop...

once upon a time Miss Selfridge used to have communal changing rooms.....I remember vividly wanting to try something on and finding helpful bofriends with their girlfriends in said changing rooms, haven't set foot back there since....

LOL. Back in the days when I was a magazine editor I went along to a shoot to have my pic taken for that editor's bit in the front. Ds was with me. Completely forgot about the need to get undressed in front of a stylist. Who was about four dress sizes smaller than me and had never been pregnant. Think my untamed bikini line, hairy legs and stretchmarks came as a bit of a shock!

I used to cringe thinking about what she must have told my team, though.

This is priceless Franny!

HC you are a sweetheart. I seem to have put on about half a stone, every ounce of it round my middle as usual. I forgot their dress sizes are really unforgiving as well.

What is the hooter?

I think it was Cod who said that a hooter goes off everytime a woman over 30 tries to get into Topshop!

Franny would obviously be exempt as HC says she's tall and skinny and can therefore probably pass as younger

I like to think that they will think of me, my ruined body and my hideous child the next time they are tempted to have sex, and just say no.

LOL oh well I get past the Topshop bouncers regularly despite looking every second of my 34 years (and quite a few of some other peoples as well). But I will steer clear of Miss Selfridge in future :(

I tend to feel the Inferiorettes provide a similar warning about the uses of artificial contraception whenever I take them to our local library.

I don't take my clothes off in our local library, btw. Although DD1 once took her pants off there.