Do NOT attempt to try on a dress a size too small in Miss Selfridge, when there are 6 teenage girls standing directly outside your cubicle, you haven't waxed your bikini line for 7 years and you have stretchmarks up to your armpits, with your toddler...

[FrannyandZooey]

Just don't, ok? It's best all round.

Did I already mention this on mn?

Felix did a poo in Hennes changing room,mid-dress trying on.

They had to fumigate the place and I was trying to contain the mess with only three tissues, a carrier bag containing other purchases and some moisturiser as 'tools' for the job.

This was all with body lard hanging out over top of knickers and out of top and sides of bra.

Felix's only contribution was to comment "it stinks doesn't it? can you see the steam"

He is 4 but I think he knew he was making it even more embarrassing - he is like that.:)

thankyou faz
lol at the title and the thead has almost had me on the floor --loved miss selfridge long time ago (when river island was still chelsea girl)

nowadays have to be brave to go in primark !!

girls, girls, am rofl at this. Esp testing piff's continence.

Hmmmmm...I've got a few precious hours in town ON MY OWN on Saturday as I'm meeting someone for coffee. I need a new dress or something for a wedding next month. The sensible thing would be to take this chance to do some clothes shopping but I generally find the whole thing embarrassing, flustering and hot-making and am toying with the idea of just getting some nice things for the kids and some new kitchen stuff I'm slimmer than I've been since my early 20's but I still can't get the idea out of my head that I'm fat and that everyone is starting at me - I sometimes think that assistants will come rushing up to gently remove anything that I have picked up that shows too much leg, middle or upper arm ...for my own good 'I don't think that's for you, why don't you try one of our range of sacks in this years fashionable shades'

But I may have to risk it........

BTW has anyone noticed that teenage girls all seem to be gorgeous these days (or most of them). In my day we all had the decency to have puppy fat still or spots or greasy hair - now they are all out to generate inadequacy in any woman over the age of 20!

rofl nm...

but joe, where are you shopping? they've never done tha to me in matalan... and the teenagers dont look so great either...

I had a similar experience in New Look in Colchester, no hanging lady garden but BF norks. Fortunately I had my homegirls MarthaMoo, Spacedonkey and Lou33 with so there was no trouble. The teens were agog, couldn't believe my comedy bosoms

Where is Marthamoo these days anyway?

I have been thinking that Suzy. I haven't seen marthamoo for aaaaaaaaaaages.

I still want that dress though

Oh, the horror of changing rooms. I never use them and here's why (although it won't make you feel better and probably intensify your conviction that you must lock up your daughters when the time comes).

In my hometown all the teenagers were thrilled when a real boutique selling teenagy girly things opened up. And we didn't mind that the owner was so pushy that if you even walked past, let alone looked in at the window display she'd take you hand and pull you in, saying, "Come on, come on, just try!" We didn't mind that if you tried on a pair of jeans she'd give you a size smaller just "to try" and a top as well to "go with it". We didn't mind any of that.

Until we saw in the paper a couple of years later that the shop had been shut down and she was in court because .....

the mirrors in the changing rooms turned out to be two way and the men sitting on the other side were paying a fiver an hour for the privilege of watching pubescent girls squeezing in and out of clothes.

I get flustered even thinking about it.

I did say it wouldn't make you feel any better, didn't I?

That is GRIM!

I already have paranoia about such things after reading of similar and now regularly check for cameras and things above!

lionhearted that is unbelievable!!

Oh God, am crying ! Bloody hilarious.

OMG! Although you kind of have to admire her sales technique. Just a little bit!

The poor bastard that paid a fiver to see me naked....
LOL
He deserves a refund!

OMG Lionhearted ! That's

god this thread has cheered me up. loving your work ladies.

Thank you F&Z - am very cheered up but also off to book bikini line wax...

Aha....I need a new telly.
Won't get hurt or upset at all either way

How did this get posted on this thread...... Please ignore.....

I knew a guy who owned a wedding dress shop and he used to brag about how he spied on girls changing into their wedding lingerie and dress. The shop was closed down thankfully!

Joelelaie, I can sympathise- I was an 18 - 20 a year ago and 12 now, but my head hasn't really registered it iyswim, so when I pick up 12's I think I'm being stupid, which is s tress making, and also I have a tendency to buy size 14's which look saggy on me (To be accurate, 12 on bottom, 10 on top- sop a size 14 on top is way silly). I'm trying to get up the nerve to buy a shortish skirt as my legs are my best feature and I know DH would like me to, but I have got to get the body image in place first.

All these stories of dress fittings reminded me of wedding dress shopping. Went to get dresses for my Bridesmaids and they spotted the 'ideal' dress for me. I hadn't been planning on looking so didn't wear posh undies, in fact typical greying breastfeeding bra of a Mum with a 2 month old baby. Plus saggy knickers cozs I doubt I had replaced the PG ones yet. So not nice, but did she HAVE to comment on it? No, I think not....

Didn't buy the dress, got embarassed and ended up with a dark grey dress and coat combo a size too big from John Lewis. Actua;ly quite nice- Eastern floral pattern in navy over shot gunmental satin- but would have liked the proper dress.

Shoes bought the other day do rock, yes- just bought pedicure stuff so I can show them off with pride

Cooooooeee Piff >>>

Floor is fine here as well.

Oh thank you FAZ, that is the funniest thing I have read in ages.

God I love MN.

Here's another take on those communal changing rooms. Very bizarre male student at uni - wore leggings etc. completely alternative, long hair, thick glasses, zits. Anyway he finds a great pair of leggings in Miss Selfridge and is wandering around holding them when an assistant asks him if he would like to try them on.

Assuming she has the knowledge that he is male (I think he lacked theory of the mind, he had some sensory issues) he accepts her kind offer and goes into the changing room which is full of teenage girls half naked.

And then he is stuck - admit he's male and get arrested or try them on and risk his Y fronts giving him away?

So FrannyandZooey I think your baby bod is quite tame in comparison.

I haven't had time yet,to read the whole thread.It is something not be rushed

However,I have gotten stuck in clothing twice,once in a skintight short black dress & another time in a summer top.It was ages ago but I still can't walk past either shop without attendant flashbacks & memories of me getting more & more hot & flustered as I tried to extricate myself.

Goodness knows what size the clothing was,as I'm a size 8,so not exactly hefty.