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Original poster

India Knight & special needs

37 replies

Moomin · 15/05/2006 21:50

was ill this week and read IK's book 'how do you want me?' which is about 4/5 years old. i was shocked that she used the words 'spaz', 'spasticated' and 'retarded' to describe various characters.

since she wrote this book she has had a daughter who has some kind of syndrome that means she has/will have special needs - she wrote about it a bit in her ST column this week, and one of her daughter's main problems is with her palate and the way she communicates.

given her current circumstances, do you think she regrets using such crass and offensive language in her book now, or should she stand by her decision to write what she likes?

OP posts:
tamum · 15/05/2006 21:51

Interesting point, Moomin. Her daughter has more severe problems than just speech- I wonder if she has changed her views.

Original poster
Moomin · 15/05/2006 22:06

she did state what the syndrome was yesterday but i can't remember what it was called. i'm interested enough to have thought about emailing her - not in an accusatory way as such but to see if it has made her more aware of the terms she has used in the past, and maybe ashamed even?

OP posts:
tamum · 15/05/2006 22:13

It's diGeorge syndrome, so heart defects and immunodeficiency too. Well done for emailing, I'll be interested to know what she says

Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads · 15/05/2006 22:28

My friend emailed her a few years ago when she wrote something offensive about SN in her column.

I've always had a bit of a link thingy with India Knight. In my own head, not in reality. 2 days after ds1 was born by c-section following a hideous labour she wrote about how women should be able to get access to epideruals and all the burning candle stuff and meditating was a pile of bollards. It was good timing and I followed her column for a while. Of course as my "link" (in my own head) is through ds1 I would be terribly upset to find out that she thought wrods like retarded were OK.

Let us know how you get on- I'm interested.

Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads · 15/05/2006 22:29

Oh I remember why my friend emailed her- she said that people who didn't vaccinate were a bunch of middle class over precious mummies who didn;t give a shit about anyone else. Or words to that effect. My friend emailed her to say it wasn't always that simple. I think she got a decent reply,

moondog · 15/05/2006 22:31

She wrote a long and rather poignant article about her child in the telegraph a while back.
Seemed very subdued,very unlike her normal irritating thread.
She lives with Andrew O'Hagan who is a brilliant brilliant journalist. I often wonder what he is doing with such a silly woman.

Original poster
Moomin · 15/05/2006 22:42

her two books seem to be semi-autobiographical to a point, in that they are narratives shaped around her own views on relationships and child-rearing. the family relationships seem to be the same from what little i know of her (mostly from her columns). i know she's recently lost 5 stones -!!!!!!!! she says she 'accidently' got massively fat over a number of years, which is a big how i feel although with a few less stone to lose!

i know she's not v.popular on here but i have to agree with much of views on child-rearing; her column yesterday was a homage to cbeebies! jimjams' comment about her friend getting a decent reply confirms what i thought - maybe she regrets being so thoughtless. still, most offensive comments stem from ignorance, and she's obviously a bit better-informed these days, sadly for her

OP posts:
Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads · 15/05/2006 22:44

Moomin I've quite often agreed with her as well, I was pleased my friend got a decent response.

Original poster
Moomin · 15/05/2006 23:10

i've just emailed her. i'll let you know if / when she responds

OP posts:
tamum · 15/05/2006 23:13

I usd to love her columns, but I think in the few years she has become awfully repetitive, and does say some pretty stupid things. I do still "like" her though!

Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads · 16/05/2006 10:34

I've only read one her books though and found it rather inane and silly!

alexsmum · 16/05/2006 10:37

in 'my life on a plate' she explains away spilling food down herself by saying'me and my downs syndrome'.i should think her attitude has changed now.

franca70 · 16/05/2006 11:40

I haven't read her articles for a while, but I used to like her a lot. I found her very ironical, and irony leads sometimes to exaggerations. Haven't read 'how do you want me' or anything about SN, though.

beckybrastraps · 16/05/2006 11:45

I think she's changed her mind on a number of things. I remember a bit of a tirade against women in their late thirties having babies, and then lo and behold, new relationship and baby at 38!

Orlando · 16/05/2006 11:51

I emailed her once following a column about how dull and brain-dead SAHMs were. I wasn't working at the time and it utterly incensed me. I didn't get a reply.

It was all brought back to me recently when she wrote that column on how inhuman it was to leave your child in a nursery. Total U-turn.

Interested to see how this develops.

Marina · 16/05/2006 12:06

I think a lot of her journalism is rant-by-the-metre and don't like that aspect of her writing, but I remember that piece about her dd as well, and found it very touching.
Good luck with contacting her Moomin. I was one of the Mners who contacted Richard Curtis about the use of such language in Love Actually, and did get a reply from his office, as did the others I think.
I never saw the language in Don't You Want Me because I gave up after page one. Dreadful rubbish, even worse than Jilly Cooper Shock

franca70 · 16/05/2006 12:09

She wrote a column about how inhuman it is to leave your child at nursery? I take it all back then, don't like her anymore.

franca70 · 16/05/2006 12:09

She wrote a column about how inhuman it is to leave your child at nursery? I take it all back then, don't like her anymore.

beckybrastraps · 16/05/2006 12:10

Orlando - I don't think she's changed her mind on that one. She still thinks not working, and more importantly not earning your own money, is beyond the pale. You should work from home, with a lovely nanny. Of course!

Still enjoy her columns though. Must be the brain dead thing!

Orlando · 16/05/2006 12:17

Yep, Franca... there was a long and deliciously knife-wielding thread about it on here. I miss archive search!

franca70 · 16/05/2006 12:52

i guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow to look at that thread then. As I said I haven't read her articles for ages, but still find her witty, like becky must be the brain dead thing! Hence my love for nurseries... ...have to go now

Original poster
Moomin · 16/05/2006 16:07

firstly - i got the name of her blimmin book wrong. as someone else quite rightly stated earlier it's called 'don't you want me' instead of my version which was 'how do you want me'!!! i had to send a follow-up email apologising for my gaffe(sp?- i've never spelt that before!)

the talk about nannies and working from home made me larf as the character in aforementioned book has a huge house in hampstead or somesuch, left to her in her divorce settlement from ex-husband or partner. she doesn't work (as far as i recall) but she has a lady that 'does' and comes round almost daily to play with her child, take it out, look after it while she goes for late lunches, drinks wine, meets her friend, etc. i thought it was a very grittily realistic book about being a single parent....

OP posts:
franca70 · 16/05/2006 18:20

Oh I think I read that then, but don't remember absolutely anything about it because I read it in hospital after having DS. didn't pay much attention to it then. and to an endless number of books i read after becoming a mum, I'm afraid...
let us know what she responds, moomin

fattiemumma · 16/05/2006 19:12

never heard of her and after finding that she uses terms like that i am rather glad.

SueW · 21/05/2006 09:47

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