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Original poster

All opinions pleas on Babies going to funerals & attire.....

36 replies

GenT · 24/01/2004 07:56

My dd was 2 weeks old when her nana took ill. She has visited her daily for about 5 months then went about 4 times a week during the last 2 1/2 months. Now she is 8 months. Going was not really her choice but we had to take her.

She was usually a ray of light in the hospitals abd therapeutical for many patients and even visitors. These public appearances has probably taught her to behave well and many comment on that.

Strangely, whenever she saw nana dd automatically smiled for her, the biggest one she could give. That did give nana a moment of joy. In the end, dd looked over at nana when she laid there dying but a smile never broke only curious eyes watching as everything went on. I wonder what she thinks, that one will have to wait until dd can speak.

All that led up to my points, dd is going to her nana's funeral on Monday since she always visited and out of respect for her nana.

Secondly, I personally only choose to wear black for funerals. Everyday attire is normally something with colour, even dd uses a lot of colour and patterns which I think embodies her spirit. Since I couldn't find any suitable dress for the occasion I made her a little black pinafore type dress with white eyelet fabric at bodice and black trimming at the armholes and neckline. Can post a pic but don't know how. Tell me if you know and comments welcome.

The dress will be worn with a white sweater which has a pink ribbon heart on it and her shoes are white with a pink butterfly. She is still a baby that is why I am choosing a bit of colour.

I went to a boutique looking for babies clothes and the owner said that people don't normally take babies to funerals and they don't dress them in balck either. I have only lived here for 17 months and not sure of such customs or views regarding that topic. Can you tell me your views on that subject...clothes, attendance and if possible the pic? Region of the world would be nice to have an idea of customs.

Many thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
GenT · 24/01/2004 23:26

This is GenT DH... May I take this opportunity to thank all response in respect to my Mother, it is nice to see that people are prepeared to share there experiences as well....... God Bless and thank you all again.

OP posts:
sb34 · 24/01/2004 23:42

Message withdrawn

Original poster
GenT · 25/01/2004 00:13

we managed to upload the pic of the dress in subject, please have a look at www.genie-designs.com{} or at least trying

OP posts:
bobthebaby · 25/01/2004 02:43

It's lovely, very apt.

Clarinet60 · 25/01/2004 12:16

I agree that she should go, and agree with the 'circle of life' sentiments already expressed. I went to a funeral when heavily pregnant with DS1 (the kind of size that makes people hold out their arms ready to support you whenever you move) and was in a quandry about whether it was seemly for me to be there in that state. Several people commented that the sight of the new life made them feel better, and I couldn't have missed my friend's funeral.

I also went to my Dad's funeral when I was 4, and it was important for me to say goodbye properly. I remember it in a positive way to this day.

scoobysnax · 25/01/2004 13:05

I would advise that you should consider the views of the primary mourners before reaching a decision - the husband/children of your nana.
If they feel that they would not like children at the service you should think hard about whether to bring your baby.
Dress should perhaps also be in line with the views of the primary mourners?
It's a bit anything goes in the UK - my uncle said he wanted no black to be worn at his funeral, bright colours only!
It is fine for a baby to wear anything you like: pretty/ sombre or both!

Clarinet60 · 25/01/2004 16:11

scoobysnax, it's her MIL, so her DH and DD are amongst the primary mourners.
She's a baby not a wild animal, so I don't see why anyone could object, it is her Grandmother.
I think the outfit sounds fine.

Original poster
GenT · 26/01/2004 20:50

hello again, just an update as the funeral was today.

I gave dd a bottle in the limo on the way to the funeral home, she was fast asleep during the 15 mins. ride and seemed to have recharged and settled by the time the service began. This morning was another story, she seemed to be exercising her vocal cords in the cot, which I could tolerate but not for later.

I think she senses the atmosphere around and radiates from that. She wasn't as bubbly as normal during the service but was well behaved. At the meal/repast following, dd was the "social butterfly" and admired. Lots of people saw her who hadn't before and it was a good feeling.

Everyone was happy she was there and I am happy that I was able to take her. Thanks for your encouragement, your wishes has been passed on to the remaining family members.

OP posts:
Bron · 26/01/2004 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Clarinet60 · 26/01/2004 22:24

Glad it worked out OK.

Davros · 26/01/2004 22:48

Pleased it went well, it must have been a great comfort to have baby there in her beautiful dress.

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