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Original poster

How often do your parents look after/pick up your kids?

112 replies

charliecat · 22/04/2006 09:10

My mum will pick up the kids from school if I cant and bring them back to mine if its easier, feed them while shes got them...she does this 2/3 time a month.
She will also have them overnight if I warn her 3 weeks in advance she does this 2/3 times a year....although she did say last time she only wants one at a time as they wont sleep but I think thats because shes putting them to bed too early.
She will cancel things to look after them at the drop of a hat...
How often do your parents help out, pick up, look after your kids?

OP posts:
oops · 22/04/2006 09:14

Never Sad my mum died last year and my dad is too ill to help- in fact at the moment we can't visit him with the kids as they are too much for himSad

dh parents are both dead, and i have a birth mother who is too irresponsible to look after my kids Sad

what you describe sounds great! It would be lovely for my kids to grow up with grandparents, but sadly i don't think that will happen. My birth mother smokes =, has high blood pressure and diabetes Sad

Heathcliffscathy · 22/04/2006 09:15

once in a blue moon under duress. had a big vfight about just that yesterday. :(

lockets · 22/04/2006 09:15

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KBear · 22/04/2006 09:15

Until a year ago my mum had the kids for me half the week when I worked. From 8-6.30pm. DD is at school and DS is in pre-school so she does the school runs too. Now DH has a shift work job he's around more so she has them less but she has been an invaluable help to me since I had my children and made working so easy for me.

She rarely babysits over night though, we usually go out separately so the other has the kids. The kids are keen to go to sleep over at Nannie's though so might happen more because they want to rather than because we're going out.

kama · 22/04/2006 09:18

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kama · 22/04/2006 09:19

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ssd · 22/04/2006 09:40

never, they are too old.

would love some help, too..................

WharfRat · 22/04/2006 09:44

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ssd · 22/04/2006 14:30

you sound in the same position as me wharf rat.

my dad died 7 yrs ago and mum is 78 and I'm looking out for her now. Dh's parents both elderly, eg. early 80's.

TBH I'm really jealous when I see a young granny with her grandkids, I always think I bet the parents are having a rest or getting to work and earn some cash!! Then I feel guilty as I'm lucky to still have my mum.

tamum · 22/04/2006 14:32

How sad oops :(

Mine pick the children up from school twice a week and stay with them for an hour and a half til I get home. I'm very lucky, and so are the children. My parents are far too frail (in different ways) to cope with them overnight though, eben though the children are very well-behaved.

collision · 22/04/2006 14:32

Never.

They are 59 and 55 and retired and always on bloody holiday!

Have told me that they will have them on occasion but when I asked them to have ds2 while we went to the theatre, Dad forgot and took Mum to Holland for 3 days.

Too much hassle sometimes to ask them and they usually put the Tv on and they watch that all day.

useless they are. B useless.

WigWamBam · 22/04/2006 14:37

Mine don't. My parents would love to be more involved but they aren't local so can't help out with the school run or look after dd after school. They're also not as young as they used to be, and can't keep up with dd. They will babysit for me but it only happens a couple of times a year, and they have never taken dd overnight. My MIL is too elderly, and to be quite honest I wouldn't trust her with my daughter for any length of time anyway. She's sat with dd for the odd hour in an emergency, twice in 5 years I think, but she's moving away soon so we will be losing the limited help we get from her anyway.

I would love some help, even just once a month would be nice. I hope you appreciate your mum and what she does for you, charliecat - lots of us are very envious.

Earlybird · 22/04/2006 14:39

Never. Mum lives too far away, and even if she was closer, has a history of drink problems so I doubt I'd feel comfortable. She also isn't strong/fit enough to chase after dd or pick her up....though it's less an issue now that dd is 5.

If I want/need help, I usually hire someone to come in.

BadHair · 22/04/2006 14:42

3 days a week, in fact my mum has them now as I'm at work. She has them Monday and Tuesday after nursery and school, then Saturday if dh is working. Sometimes dh's parents have them on a Saturday too, so they get a fair bit of time with nannys and grandads.

snafu · 22/04/2006 14:44

My parents are fantastic and I'm incredibly lucky. Then again, I do live with them so it's hard for them to get out of childminding duties Grin

My mum is not really well but she will still do more than her fair share, really and my dad is a star. It is a massive weight off my mind knowing that there's always someone there for ds when I'm working a late shift, for example.

I'm very lucky - but I try not to take advantage - I can count on one hand the number of nights out I've had since ds was born 3 years ago, for a start...

edam · 22/04/2006 14:46

Never. They live too far away and are either too frail, or not willing, or not available. They are all fond of ds, it's just not one of the things they want to do.

Flip · 22/04/2006 14:50

I am very lucky and reading other people's posts I'm realising just how lucky I am. When I worked my mum looked after ds1 everyday and my sisters dd. When ds1 went to school my mum would have ds1 from 7am fresh from bed and needing getting dressed and breakfast until my dad took him to school because he works there. Then she would walk the two and half miles to his school to collect him if I couldn't get away from work on time.

Now I don't work and I'm at home with ds2. But she has ds2 for one day a week usually a Monday so I can chill out or go shopping. We often go out together places. My dad will still take ds1 to school if I need him to. Late start or sicky ds2. He will also keep ds1 with him at school if I have similar emergency until I can get there.

Whenever my dh is away my mum will invite me and the boys for tea and the kids will be bathed and ready for bed in pj's when I leave so I just need to put them straight to bed. My mum and dad are wonderful and I only need to ask and they babysit.

The in-laws are wonderful to. During the Easter holidays they've had ds2 a couple of days and ds1 about six days. Ds1 quite often sleeps over at weekends and holidays. They usually come away on holiday with us to and help with the kids. I am very lucky and I appreciate all that they do for us. I have been ill for almost seven years and they're always there to call on.

gladbag · 22/04/2006 14:58

Very rarely.

My mum died when I was little, and my dad is ancient and lives a long way away (and when he stays he often falls asleep when watching ds for me in the front room while I do the washing up....so would be reluctant to leave in charge Wink)

My MIL is very 'hands-on', and has looked after ds overnight (at our house) before, and will always have him for the day when staying, but she lives hundreds of miles away and only visits every few months or so.

I often envy people with parents on hand to help.

Aimsmum · 22/04/2006 15:08

I'm very lucky too. My mum takes my DD overnight (7pm til 12pmish) at least one, often 2, saturday nights per month.

She says it's because she enjoys having DD stay for company, but i know it is more to with helping me out/ giving me a break. I know she wishes she could do more too, but i am delighted with wat she does do and wouldn't expect anymore!

I do all the drop off/pick ups from school myself, inbetween mad dashes to and from work though!!

nowanearlyNicemum · 22/04/2006 15:10

We are very lucky in that we have 2 sets of loving, willing and able grandparents for our dd. Unfortunately we live 100s of miles away from any family members so the help they can give us is minimal. When they're staying with us they really get stuck in, we usually get a night out just the 2 of us too. dd has been to stay with both sets of grandparents for a few days at a time and I don't have to worry about a thing. Just hoping they'll be willing to have 2 at a time when lo arrives!!!! :)

Upsadaisy · 22/04/2006 15:12

Parents have children one afternoon a week as a general rule. Like you Ainsmum they say its because they like to spend time with children which no doubt they do but they do it to help me and dp too.

lexiemum · 22/04/2006 15:51

dds only have my parents so they do as much as they can for being 60miles away. both only 52 and semi retired - mum pops up on the train once a week with the view to help out with housework etc but its generally just playing with the girls.

dds have their own room at nanny's and stay approx 3 times a year (each birthday and our anniversary) for the whole weekend, whilst we get some our time. They live enroute to Heathrow so we'll disappear into europe for 2ngts.

we've just got back from holland for dh's 40th.

mum will also have them for odd ngts or meets us at my workplace if my childminder cancels a day and takes the girls for me.

i'm very very lucky....

hoxtonchick · 22/04/2006 16:46

we are very lucky. mil picks children up from nursery when i work (2 days a week), though sometimes it's a little fraught as she has her other grandsons too. pil live locally & will always help if asked.

my parents are 200 miles away, but come down at least once a month to help out, & are buying a flat locally too.

suedonim · 22/04/2006 16:46

Never. We live too far away, both grandfathers are dead and mum is 78, and MIL is 86. My mum would help a bit if we were closer but she isn't so we just have to get on with it. Smile

me23 · 22/04/2006 16:55

never, mum died when i was pregnant with dd, my dad is 71 and isnt up to it.