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Original poster

How often do your parents look after/pick up your kids?

112 replies

charliecat · 22/04/2006 09:10

My mum will pick up the kids from school if I cant and bring them back to mine if its easier, feed them while shes got them...she does this 2/3 time a month.
She will also have them overnight if I warn her 3 weeks in advance she does this 2/3 times a year....although she did say last time she only wants one at a time as they wont sleep but I think thats because shes putting them to bed too early.
She will cancel things to look after them at the drop of a hat...
How often do your parents help out, pick up, look after your kids?

OP posts:

LittleSarah · 22/04/2006 17:30

I am lucky either my mum or dad (they are separated) has my dd overnight once a fortnight, they will help other times aswell if necessary - sometimes for my class on Wed - but usually just the weekends.. so once a month each. She also goes to her dads a lot so I get a fair amount of time off IYKWIM... this weekend for example... ahhhh.

roisin · 22/04/2006 17:30

Never. We live too far away. My parents used to have them occasionally for holidays, but my dad has been too poorly for years now - so they're not up to it.

If one of us can't do the schoolrun, we have to rely on the goodwill of friends and neighbours.

sobernow · 22/04/2006 17:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lapsedrunner · 22/04/2006 17:52

Never. Both grandfathers are dead. Mother & MIL live in UK but we are abroad. Even if we were in UK it would be never for my mother (just gone into residential care) and very ocassionally for MIL due to distance and age (hers).

Wembley · 22/04/2006 17:58

Not very often as we live abroad and both sets of grandparents are in the UK. Whenwe go home IL's babysit but I wouldn't leave them any longer (left them over night once and found out DD had jelly for breakfast because that's what she asked for!) My parents are great and will look after them whenever they can. They are coming out for 2 weeks in a few weeks time so we will definately be able to go away for the night! (Can't wait!)

lunavix · 22/04/2006 18:01

My mum lives around an hour away. She's met my ds maybe 3 times (he's 2) which is partly her disinterest and partly me not letting her near him. Would never allow her unsupervised. My dad has only seen him once, but lives abroad. Don't think he'd want to, even given the chance.

My ILs are fab fab fab. MIL has him on average once a week or fortnight overnight, she loves having him and he loves going. She is his absolutely favouritist person in the world PIL and BIL who live there too are really great with him too.

She does a few other bits too - for example we're there every sunday for dinner and she baths him. If I need her to take him to tumbletots or swimming at short notice she will and can - she works full time but is an O/MD. I think we're very lucky to have dh's family.

I will add that me and dh are young - early 20s - and as such MIL and PIL are young - late 40s. I think this makes a whopping difference. My parents couldn't cope with ds - they're both late 50s, early 60s, - but like I said they wouldn't ahve him anyways.

petunia · 22/04/2006 19:25

ILs- don't drive and live 45 miles away.
My parents- live 15 minutes away and I'm lucky if I can get them to look after DDs 1 or 2 times a year. It's a bit of a sore point because DHs a computer programmer, and has spent ages researching and sorting out getting a broadband connection for them. So when they need help all they need to do is ring him up and he can go over to their house/give advice over the 'phone but when we need help it's a different matter. E.g I asked if they could look after DDs when I had my 20wk scan and for weeks they said they could but 2-3wks before the appointment, they arranged other things. So we ended up having to take DDs to the scan. I've just about given up asking now.
Unfortunately can't have a go at them because need them to look after DDs when I go in to hospital to have baby no3 (due any day now).

LucyJones · 22/04/2006 19:30

My parents and inlaws aren't local either. My inlaws are talking about moving closer and talk of ds going to stay with them for w/ends etc but I would ahte that. My parents help my brother and sisters out so if we lived nearer they would babysit occasionally but not do anything like school runs etc

Yorkiegirl · 22/04/2006 19:30

MIL is not in good health so can't help with the DDs. I know she feels very sad about this as she did a lot for our nephew and niece when they were little (they are 15 and 22 now).
My parents live 90 miles away so can't help with day to day stuff. They do come down and see the children, and DD1 has been to stay on her own several times. DD2 is much livlier so she hasn't been yet. I am lucky to have that support but I do wish they lived closer. I lived miles from any family when I was little and my parents had no support.

bogwobbit · 22/04/2006 19:37

Mum looks after dd two days a month but as this involves long train journeys for her I always feel really guilty. She will have the older kids occasionally during holidays or in-service days at school. The best thing about her is that although she doesn't look after them a lot, she always tries to do 'fun' things with them when she does. For example, during one October holidays she took them youth hostelling.
Dad can't look after them as he's ill and my parents in law are really too old to be able to cope.

intergalacticwalrus · 22/04/2006 19:40

My mum has looked after DS twice during the day, and has had him overnight 3 times. She won't drop everything for DS, and I can't see her looking after him and DB come September when I give birth. I don't really mind, as we never have any money to go out anyway.

Waswondering · 22/04/2006 19:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

threebob · 22/04/2006 19:47

My mum and dad are here 3 months of the year and will look after ds as much as we want while they are here.

PIL look after him each Wednesday pm for a couple of hours, except that it's been going on for 4 weeks now and they have only managed 2 Wednesdays. I think that qualifies as a work in progress.

PandaG · 22/04/2006 20:10

My Ps and PILs live 150 miles away in the same town, so don't babysit. However, nearly every school holiday the children go and stay for a week, we usually stay for the weekend and then leave them with my parents. PIL's have them to stay for a night individually, as do both aunts. Everyone benefits - children have great relationship with both sets of grandparents, and we get a break. We do really appreciate this, but I know my P's wish we lived closer so the contact was more frequent.

tortoiseshell · 22/04/2006 21:31

my parents live 300 miles away, so really can't help. When my mum visits she does help a bit with putting to bed etc. Ds and dd have stayed at their house a couple of times on their own, when I've been to stay with a friend, and I hope they might do that more. MIL is elderly and lives 150 miles away.

I could really do with some local family, especially when no 3 arrives.

jampots · 22/04/2006 21:33

my parents are dead
dh's parents live in Spain and when they're over here dont look after them at all, even if their visits coincide with our birthdays/anniversary etc

Passionflower · 22/04/2006 21:45

Am mega lucky in my mum. She will have DD's whenever I ask for however long I request. The DD's are her only grandchildren and they are her be all and her end all. My granny was the same with her grandchildren though so I think it is a family thing.

jampots · 22/04/2006 21:47

my children are the inlaws only grandchildren too and my MIL's mum had dh (only child) all the time and overnight from quite small - sadly his mum has forgotten how important that is

lewsmummy · 22/04/2006 21:52

My ds is 10 weeks old and my mum has him sleep over most friday nights and when i return to work she'll be having him for me.

Frenchgirl · 22/04/2006 21:53

ermmmmmm
never

MIL in Kent
my parents in France

we're on our own!!!

mumball · 22/04/2006 21:56

Never !

My parents moved to the isle of wight 6 years ago, but they ever picked up/looked after DD. A bit of a bug bear there! My dad has only visited me three times in twenty years. My mum has visited a little bit more but not much.

Passionflower · 22/04/2006 22:03

jampots. I think that is a bit of a MIL thing though. My MIL isn't wildly good at helping either and it's not just us. She moved to newcastle to be near "at least some of my grandchildren" but BIL told us that she doesn't help very much even though she lives near to them.

AvonCalling · 22/04/2006 23:00

I feel extremely lucky.

My parents are in Scotland, but they came to visit us in our new house a few weeks ago (Thursday-Sunday) and took DD home with them. MUm brought her back the following Thursday and stayed until Tuesday.

My inlaws now live just up the garden, but before we moved the came over to get DD for nursery on a Tuesday morning, got her for lunch and brought her home again. I would take her to nursery on a Wednesday afternoon,but they colected her and she stayed overnight so she was closer for nursey on a Thursday, they would again get her for lunch and bring her home afterwards.

Now we are closer, she does not need to stay over, but she likes going up there to see Grandma & grandad, leaving me to get on with sorting out the boxes that have yet to be unpacked.

futurity · 22/04/2006 23:02

never ever. sore point!

KristinaM · 22/04/2006 23:14

Never - MIL is not interested, she has 18 grandchildren and hasn't even met our youngest two.She couldnt even be bothered to come to DSD's funeral last year

My parents see our children about twice a year when we take them over.They didn't even know I was pregnant with DS2 until after he was born. They expected me to drive to take the children to see them at Christmas - that's a new baby, an 18 month old and a 5 year old TEN DAYS after I had a section. They are so mad that I couldn't , they haven't spoken to me since. Last time I spoke to my mother on the phone she said they were no longer my parents and they would cut me our their will ( like I care).

But we have brothers and sisters who make up for it

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