How often do your parents look after/pick up your kids?

[charliecat]

My mum will pick up the kids from school if I cant and bring them back to mine if its easier, feed them while shes got them...she does this 2/3 time a month.
She will also have them overnight if I warn her 3 weeks in advance she does this 2/3 times a year....although she did say last time she only wants one at a time as they wont sleep but I think thats because shes putting them to bed too early.
She will cancel things to look after them at the drop of a hat...
How often do your parents help out, pick up, look after your kids?

My parents are both dead but before he died my dad babysat occasionally for ds1 and I know he would have done more once they were older - taken to sport matches and theatre, that type of thing. My inlaws are brilliant - they have had the kids to stay lots of times and MIL came down (2 1/2 hr drive) just to help out during the day when ds1 and dd were tiny. All three are off to them for a long weekend in 3 weeks time as we're going away to celebrate dh's 40th birthday with a bunch of friends. The children will have alovely time playing with all mil and pil's animals and we will have a lovley time drinking too much and sleeping late.

My parents are both dead, as is DP's dad. His mum is too old, so never.

Would love the kind of help some of you have.

i am very lucky, though my parents live quite far away. my mum has jumped on flights with less than a day's notice when DS couldn't go to nursery, she came down recently to entertain him when me and hubby were painting. we go up there sometimes and stay in a hotel for a bit of a lie in while mum and dad look after DS. they do the same for my brother and SIL who live much nearer and take the kids every friday all day and overnight, they even swap cars so my mum has the kiddy friendly one and my SIL can zip around in a smaller, sporter number.

when my niece was alive (she had huge health problems and has sadly since died) my mum ad dad said they would have officially adopted her if they could (no need, bruv and SIL are great parents) but i knew if the circumstances had been there, they would've. they were fantastic with her, sort of like a 2nd set of parents rather than grandparents.

mum and dad are in their early 60s but very active, mum also looks after my nana. the woman is a saint!

my saint of a mum will have my dd every school holiday so I can work but she also looks after my dn in the school holidays and my two dneices who are just 2yrs old. Last week of the Easter holiday for two of the days she had 1 x 6yr old, 1 x 8yr old and 2 x 2yr olds and it is her 60th birthday this wed so we are giving her a portrait session so she can have one of her and the grandchildren, thanks mum :)

Usually whenever asked if they can. My mum will cancel stuff for it. My MIL usually only does it if she is already free unless an emergency. Which I really like because it means I don't mind asking as I know she will tell me if its not convenient.

I hate that my mum tries to re-jig her whole life instead of just saying 'no, can't really that day' as it puts me off asking her.

I think Grandparents should be in the luxurious position of only looking after children when it suits them.

My mum lives overseas now so much rarer anyway,.

I feel really sad for my (widowed) mum, as her age and more importantly, physical disability, mean that she can't have charge of DS as she would love to. She lives about 60 miles away and doesn't drive, but the real issue is her health. But when she stays with me, about once a fortnight, she does as much as she can, even if it is just playing with DS while I do some emails, clean the kitchen and so on. She'd be fabulous if I hadn't left being a mum to some ridiculous age, and I'd have had my dad to help as well

My ILs are moving nearer to us (currently two hours or so away) so they can see more of DS. Age is an issue there too, but not so much physical ability. I doubt we'd leave DS with either my mother or my ILs overnight, but them being near will be a help, even if it just saves us a long drive.

Everyone adores DS though, and that's the main thing Lucky really.

My parents have my youngest child every Wednesday for the day - they come and pick him up from outside my work and the older children and I drive to their house after school/work and have dinner then before we all come home. They have done that with all my children before they started school. Usually they don't look after all of them during the school hols as it's a tall order to have all 3 - maybe 2 or 3 times a year. They also probably pick the children up from school about 6/7 times a year when I need a hand or if it's a birthday or something - also been known to attend school events if I or DH can't make it. For a while mum used to babysit once a week for a few hours in the evening while dad went to his creative writing class in our Arts Centre.

Never overnight though as my kids are not great at bedtime and I'mn still BFing the littlest one.

I think they are wonderful and am so grateful that my children have involved and loving grandparents. I might add that they are 75 and live 15 miles away not even in the same town. I am very lucky and love them to bits BTW I've NEVER asked them to do this -it's their choice and I've always made it very clear that if it ever becomes too much for them they must stop.

MIL lives about the same distance away but doesn't drive so it's more problematic for her. I know she'd do it like a shot if she could. But it usually involves us picking her up and taking her back home again which is not worth the hassle.

Gosh, I feel really spoiled and guilty after reading some of these posts! My Mum has my Dd every Tuesday and on a Friday morning so that I can get things done around the house, shopping, appointments etc. My Dad comes home from work on a Tuesday lunchtime especially to play with Dd. They will also have her overnight if need be. I'm lucky as she is a good sleeper so don't feel guilty. My In laws will also look after her overnight and come round at least once a week to see her eventhough they run a very hectic business together. All are in their mid 60's. We are very lucky and I do count my blessings often.

I realised early on that my mother in law,who before dd1 was born said she would be a willing babysitter, was far from willing. The first time I asked for her help was when I was throwing up with gastroenteritis and I asked her to come and sit with children (had ds by then) but she threw her hands up in horror and said she didn'tlike to say no but she might catch it. So instead my elderly neighbour came and sat with them. They have babysat on a few occasions but they want kids asleep in bed before we go out and us back for 9pm so they aren't late to bed!!! So it's not worth going out at all.My parents live 2.5 hours drive away so can't help regularly but again they will help on their terms as long as it doesn't disrupt their schedule. I can't understand them- I have vowed when and if I have grandchildren I will be as helpful as I can. I hope they just don't regret spending precious time with them when they are small as eldest is now 10 and doesn't want to stay in when they visit except under protest. Anyone else feel sad that grandparents don't seem to want to be involved with their grandchildren ( they will come and watch school plays etc and be the proud grandparents then though!)

try how often do they send a birthday card.

never

My parents - rarely. They live 2 hours away, Mum works and Dad has minor disability which means he's great for reading stories, but not much else. Mum will come to stay and look after kids for the day - means we managed to see Oasis last summer & attend dh's best friends wedding in January.

My hubby's parents on the other hand would be here everyday, if they didn't live on the other side of the Atlantic! When we do see them they are fantastic. Actually on their way to UK as I speak - coming to look after kids at the weekend, while dh & I spend a lovely, child-free few days at the Frimley Hall Hotel, plus a day racing at Sandown Park! So all in all, I don't have things too bad

Never - would be nice to have some help though I wouldn't trust them anyway

In-laws live 800 miles away and would just plonk her down in front of the TV just as they do with dsd when she visits in the summer. Also they'd expect dd to visit for six weeks on her own up there too

My parents didn't babysit for my nieces and nephews so never expected anything from them in that respect.

my mum looks will look after them if ive got the dentist/hospital appointment, thats about it. she's had my two ds overnight once, never offered again.occasionally we get to go out for our tea on our own, but we're expected to be back in a couple of hours.friends of ours can go out for a whole evening, but that would never happen in our house. dads, emigrated. dh dad is dead and his mum is not really interested, never offered to help.my mum actually finds the kids stressfull, she's admitted it. if she comes for a visit, she stays for about 20 minutes but then makes her excuses to go.it saddens me.. i know my kids aren't bad, they get excellent reports from school. they're just boisterous. my third is going through that difficult toddler stage. there's only the baby who's no trouble at the moment. i feel really envious of people with 'hands on' grandparents.it makes me sad that my kids wo'nt have fond memories of grandparent times.

it strikes me from reading all these posts what a difference your experience of being a parent must be when you have help as opposed to no help from family.
to me it makes all the difference, I think I would have been more chilled out with having the occasional break as well as better off as I'd have kept on working in my £10 an hour job instead of having given up to childmind at £2.75 an hour.

But that's all by the by, we all have to live with our own individual situations.

I am sincerely glad to read that some people on here do get help and support from their parents (me speaking as someone who does not get any help at all from her parents). To me its the decent thing to do.

As for my parents - well its their loss ultimately.

Both mine and dp's folks leave over 100 miles away! However, they will come up and look after ds if we are pushed (mine are retired, dp's about to be...). Essentially they'd do more if they were closer...

My parents - never. They live an hour away but don't ever look after my kids; actually when they come to visit us or we visit them, they play with the kids for about 10 minutes, max. And in between visits they complain that they don't get to see enough of them - grrr. They do spend lots of money on them though...

The PILs live 3 hours drive away. We see them quite a lot, but MIL is so desperate for as much time as poss with dh, that she would never suggest that we have some time out while she looks after the kids. She did look after dd for 2 weeks when I was in hospital though, so she is officially a saint. (my mum's contribution to that difficult time was to buy dd some more toys, sigh).

I am lucky as my mum will do whatever she can to help out. She lives a long way away though so we have to save her for times when DH and I both working on a Sat, or if DD is not too poorly but has something like sticky eye which means nursery won't have her. My father is sweet, but likes to leave hot tea lying around, let DD stand on chairs to see out of window etc etc. She'd last about 10 minutes with him.

Outlaws - only seen DD 4 times and she's now 1. They're both only 60 but too busy with allotments, cooking, wine etc etc to want to see her. Bit awkward when they try to pick her up and her look says "who the hell are you?!"

I am really lucky that my parents and PIL all live five minutes away from us and help us out every morning so that I can go to work early. They take the kids to school/playgroup for us and I pick ds up from playgroup on way home from work. Fortunately, I only work term-time at Uni so there are lots of weeks that we don't need their help and dh also works shifts so he can cover some weeks. I do really appreciate their help and reading this thread only emphasises it. I think they are so willing to help because their parents helped them as much as they could when they were working when we were kids.
It's great because my dh and I were/are very close to our grandparents and now our kids are close to theirs. Makes me realise how important family is and how nice it is to live near our families.
:)

I am amazingly lucky to have both my parents (retired, but fit and able) living 20 mins away. They come over and I pop over to them at least twice a week.

They've only babysat a couple of times as I haven't gone back to work yet so rarely need childcare, but when I do go back to work, they're going to look after DS one day a week.

My MIL lives much further away so she rarely sees DS. FIL is passed away.

I'm glad my DS has 3 grandparents. I only had 1 living when I was a kid.

The answer to your question is 24/7 and the grandparents are me and my partner. We have a residence order for our grandchildren 5 months and 3 years. Anyone else?

BTW in some ways its easier the second time around, but the downside is you have less energy, and having built up a social life after our kids flew the nest, we have to forsake it. But when two kids happiness and wellbeing are at stake, there is no competition.
Sadly our parents in law are a little too old to do any caring, FIL has dementia, but they have offered.

But just bear it in mind, you never know what the next 20 years will bring. I certainly never envisaged this.

Look out for Joash, Peaches. She doesn't get on here much these days I don't think, but her grandson lives with her.

Peaches 27, do you mind if i ask why you have custody of your grandchildren?

My parents are wonderful too, and have the boys overnight 1-2 a month & often takes them home with her as she generally loves having them around. PIL are a different story, never even offered to help with them and barely see them

my mum has my ds 18months two days a week when i work and if shes able to she will have him while i take my elder son to footie training and matches. we live in the same village

My mum takes my DS to school each day and picks him up four out of five afternoons. he then plays with his cousins at her house until I come home from work at around 4.30. She looks after him on in-service days and will keep him overnight at weekends if I ask. I don't do this very often as I feel she does enough. My DS and her are very close and enjoy each others company very much! i'm very lucky. My DS sees his other set of grandparents once or twice in a fortnight although they probably wish it was more. They live quite close but I think mothers are always closer to their daughters so she sees more of my nieces because she babysits them.