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Original poster

Spent night in A&E after falling with 7month ds in my arms-dp being horrible to me

79 replies

jmum6 · 11/04/2006 13:32

I'm feeling really shocked today, so thought by telling you all it might make me feel better.

Right here goes:

Ds has been ill with cold which has gone onto his chest. Went to drs yesterday and was given antibiotics. Came home and locked keys in the car.

I had ds, his bag full of crap, our coats and and a big soft toy rabbit in my hands.
So I decided that rather wait for my dp to come home from work, I'd walk up to my sister (who lives 2 mins away) for a spare key. Couldn't get pushchair as was locked in the car, and couldn't go round the back of the house as the side gate is bolted.

Started to walk and had probably managed to walk as far as 3 houses up the road when I stumbled, I managed to right my self but not quite, and I felt myself falling forward. I ended up stumbling forward and then off of the curb, I tried to break ds fall, but as I hit the ground he 'bounced' out of my arms and into the road. Luckily no cars were coming but he landed on his head.

For a few milliseconds I thought he was dead as he was completely silent, but he was doing that silent cry thing he does when he's really hurt.

A neighbour saw me fall and helped me up and walked me back home. By which point ds is screaming, bleeding from the bump on his head, the backs of my hands and my knees are all bleeding too(looked far worse than it actually was). By then dp had got home from work and went mad when I managed to tell him what happened.

Kept saying, why hadn't I just waited at the house, why didn't I pick up my phone from the car ect etc. By now I'm having full blown panic attack and can't breath.

We went straight to A&E and the nurse saw us straightaway and gave ds calpol to help calm him down, they gave him some more after 15mins, as he's still screaming. Then the nurse came and took me away to their staffroom and made me a cup of tea. To try and calm me down as I was still having panic attack and couldn't breath or speak.

Then the dr saw ds, and examined him and said it's a good sign he was crying and hadn't been sick ect etc. After observing him they let us come home.

I know it was my fault but dp is now being funny with me and blaming me. It wasn't until this morning he asked me how my hands and knees were, and then just said he's got no sympathy for me.

So I've spent this morning worrying about ds and making sure he's got no other concussions symptons, playing it all over in my head and generally feeling weepy and crappy. Sad

OP posts:
LadySherlockofLGJ · 11/04/2006 13:36

OMG you poor thing.

Is he normally such a pompous person, I am struggling not to be rude here.

CountessDracula · 11/04/2006 13:37

what a tosser

Tell him to sod off

You poor thing

bitsamaloney · 11/04/2006 13:38

It wasn't your fault it was an accident.

Original poster
jmum6 · 11/04/2006 13:38

He can be sometimes, but not all the time. He said in the car on the way to the hospital that he 'couldn't talk to me right now as he's so worked up'!

OP posts:
waterfalls · 11/04/2006 13:38

How is it your fault? you fell fgs, you did'nt throw him, what a tosserAngry

LadySherlockofLGJ · 11/04/2006 13:38

Ok CD has broken the seal for me.

He is a waste of F*ing space.

Tell him to go forth and multiply. Angry

MadamePlatypus · 11/04/2006 13:39

There but for the grace.... go most of us. Really glad that your ds is OK. What a nasty experience. I have got sympathy for you. I am making you a nice cup of cybertea.

Twiglett · 11/04/2006 13:39

OMG poor you

there is a reason they are known as ACCIDENTS you know .. it is not your fault

your DH is reacting out of stress .. much in the way you would react if he had dropped DS into the road I'll warrant ... try and forgive him ..

don't worry about DS .. he's fine and baby's do bounce

Pinotmum · 11/04/2006 13:39

Your dp should be ashamed of himself. Yes he probably got a shock when he saw your ds and yourself in that state but the hospital have said everything is OK. Your dp should get over it - with hindsight of course we'd all do it right blah de blah but you didn't intentionally hurt your ds fgs! If he's still a sh&t tonight tell him to back off and try to consider how you feel for a change. I don't think he could make you sound any worse than you do, could he?? I'd find it hard to forgive his attitude especially as you were having a panic attack so I wouldn't be apologetic to him to bring him round. I hope you and your ds feel better soon.

Caligula · 11/04/2006 13:39

What's his problem?

That you had an accident?

Why is he treating you so unsympathetically when you had an accident? What's the matter with him?

edam · 11/04/2006 13:39

Oh poor you. Your dh is being an a*se. It was an accident FFS. And you could have stumbled at any time, whether you'd locked yourself out or not.

He was probably reacting out of shock at the time but no excuse for blaming you, or saying he's got no sympathy. You were shocked, worried and frightened and you needed his support, not his condemnation. Bad sign that he's still being a tosser this morning - do you think he's feeling guilty about the way he behaved yesterday and is blustering to cover it up?

Hope you feel better soon. Most of us have done something similar. Babies are more robust than you'd think, fortunately!

cece · 11/04/2006 13:39

something like this happened to dd when she was 12 weeks. except it was dh not me who dropped her and she landed on her head.

he was inconsolable for days so think yours is a normal reaction. however i was a bit more considerate than your dh is being.

ds is fine you didn't do it delibrately so don' t feel too bad please!

earthtomummy · 11/04/2006 13:40

You poor thing. It's such a shock to fall when you are holding your child - I fell the entire length of our stairs holding my DD when she was 2 and she couldn't walk for a wk and needed xrays. Please don't be hard on yourself. Doesn't help that your DH is being such a .. politeness restrains me here, but this could happen to anyone. Hope you are both feeling better this morning - that DS' head and you are better.

threelittlebabies · 11/04/2006 13:40

You poor thing, hope you're both ok. Am struggling to understand your dh's behaviour- especially him "having no sympathy for you"- er why? Does he imagine you flung yourself on the floor for fun? He should be comforting and looking after you. Hope he comes to his senses soon.

sarahhal · 11/04/2006 13:41

How did you possibly do anything wrong at all?

It sounds like you had a right shock and God knows why your DP is being such an arse.

Hope you are feeling better x

shimmy21 · 11/04/2006 13:41

How can it possibly be your fault? You weren't doing anything dangerous. You could just as easily have tripped at home and fallen down the stairs or whatever.

To be generous to your dh perhaps he's shocked and frightened and reacts this way because of his concern. But tbh he doesn't deserve generosity. He deserves a slap in the face (not advocating this of course...)

is he a perfect parent? has he ever forgotten anything, tripped over or made a mistake? T%sser!

Carmenere · 11/04/2006 13:41

I have to say jmum6 that I am shocked to the core by such comtemptuous behaviour towards you. You need to put some distance between you and him for a bit. His attitude is absolutely disgusting Angry

Piffle · 11/04/2006 13:41

He is being a wankpot.
It was an accident ffs, everyone is ok bar the bumps and scrapes.
Take it easy and try to ignore himHope you're ok and not too sore and ds is perking up now xxx

OddOneOut · 11/04/2006 13:42

Angry-sorry but what a complete a&*e, it was an accident, if he were standing near me right now, i would slap him round the faceAngry.
did it not occur to him that you were just as worried, shocked etc? hes behaving as if you threw your ds on the floor.

CHICagoMUM · 11/04/2006 13:43

OMG. Huge sympathy for you. I know how you feel. I tripped going down the stairs carrying dd when she was 6months old, dropped her and she hit her head on the radiator. Went through exactly thee same - the silence followed by howling. She is now a happy healthy 4 years old.

Do you think it is perhaps shock that made dp react like that and now doesn't know how to retract it?

It is not your fault. Accidents happen. Its not like you were running down the street, throwing the child up in the air or anything like that. Hope you both feel better soon.

edam · 11/04/2006 13:43

Do you think he reacts badly to the sight of you having a panic attack - doesn't know how to deal with it? I know I can be less than sympathetic to dh sometimes because I think 'oh, here we go again...'. Which is not fair (and I don't actually let on).

Maybe you need to sit him down and spell out how he made you feel and how you would like him to behave next time you have a panic attack, or ds has an accident. Sometimes people just need telling!

fairyfly · 11/04/2006 13:44

When my x fell down the stairs with my baby i shouted at him. It was just panic and stress. Hopefully he will apologise and put it down to that.

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 11/04/2006 13:44

what an ar*ehole.

Wonder what he'd have made of my DH dropping DS1 when he was 8 months old?? DS1 threw himself back while sitting his DH's arms and as DH had a toy in his other hand (trying to calm him down as he'd got himself hysterical) couldn't catch him - and he fell head first onto the bedroom floor - no damage done - and I didn't say anything as it was an accident like yours was.

edam · 11/04/2006 13:45

(My dh doesn't have panic attacks, btw, but I have moments of being unsympathetic about his reaction to some events).

Original poster
jmum6 · 11/04/2006 13:47

Yes I know he treated me like that because he was shocked and worried about ds.

But I know now he won't let me carry ds when we are together.

But ds is absolutely fine this morning, in fact he's quite cheerful considering he's full of cold and has a lump/graze on his head - so hopefully I'll soon stop feeling like this.

Guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself!

OP posts:
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