INTROVERTS THREAD ...shhhh, we're over here

[NorksAreMessy]

Hello fellow introverts. I hope the last thread exploded due to time since it was started, and not because it was controversial. :o

I started the original thread after reading the wonderful book quiet and realizing that I was not alone.

Lots of people were kind enough to share their thoughts and experiences, and it was a good support for those of us who like being alone; hate parties, especially hen nights; love reading, crafting, walking, painting, creating; enjoy solitude; need some recovery time after being in a crowd; prefer thought to action.

We are not necessarily shy, we can be confident and even outspoken, but we are at our happiest having a bit of a think on our own, thanks all the same

It's a bit odd to have a group of introverts, but I prefer to think of us as a collective. Separate but together.

As Christmas approaches, I thought we might need a thread to help us through it all

YY seagulls I thought Sherlock was great fun tonight.

Hi everyone, well that's Christmas over, I managed ok ish at the works do, I was probably one of the very few sober people there. The dancing was horrid I had been dreading it for months, oh well I've got a year to work myself up to the next party..

How lovely to find you all :)

I bottled out of our NCT monthly dinner again last night as once DS had gone to his dads the house was so quiet and I couldn't bear the thought of getting dressed and going to a noisy restaurant

Thanks to Mumsnet I have finally realised that I'm introverted, not socially inadequate and I feel so much happier with myself and better about refusing invites. I've spent my life desperately trying to 'fit in' and felt 'wrong'. I used to drink a LOT in social situations to feel comfortable. Thank goodness I don't need to do that anymore.

My job requires me to smile and be nice to people, by the time I get home I don't want to see anyone.

Am enjoying my last few hours of peace before back to work...

I'm so as to find this thread and can identify with everything absulutely everything!

I thought there was something wrong with me and I needs help. I can compose and write and although I speak well, dread picking up the phone or face to face meetings.

I would happily not go out for weeks, love nothing more than having a bath then curling up with a pile of books.

I prefer radio to tv and am a listener , can tune in to other peoples conversations And notice everything

I have adjusted to being as outgoing as I need to be, had to learn from having the children

Glad it's not just me

I also feel exhausted after social gatherings and really struggle going over things in my head that bother me

I hate soft play as the colours and noise are too much

Oh, can I join please?

My DH is the opposite of me and he sometimes gets frustrated by my need for silence and the fact that I don't like socialising that often.

We were at a dinner party recently. I had quite enjoyed myself but was ready to go home, it was the point in the evening where other people were becoming drunk. Suddenly, one man pulled out a packet of After-8's and announced: "We're going to play a game" I was out of my chair with my coat on immediately. My DH wanted to have his turn at moving a mint from his face to his mouth & then I managed to get him straight out, whilst hissing under my breath: "You know I don't DO games"

When we have an evening out together, for a wedding or party, we agree in advance that I will leave when I've had enough & that DH will stay later. If it's been an all-day event, about 9pm is about my cut-off when I start to dream of leaving. I like to quietly escape, so that I don't need fl say bye to lots of people, and then get straight into a taxi. The feeling of walking into a quiet empty house (DC go to GP's when we are out), taking high heels off and then making a cup of tea/settling down with a book is just PERFECT. It is such a relief when I imagine the party I have just left and realise that I have escaped and can just snuggle down by myself for a few hours...

Hello can I quietly park myself in here please
No fuss reqd

Wow just reading a few of these posts makes me realise I'm not strange!!! Phew!!!
Always tried to fit in with all the extroverts. Got married had child phew can settle down n call the shots etc
Then bam husband turns out to be lying toad and I'm on the shelf again
Dating as an introvert is hard!!!!
Hello all xxx

Evening all. Bishbash we went away for a few days last week and I took DS3 into a soft play. Normally I detest them but this was in a bigger activity place where the older children could run off and it was empty apart from one other child and DS and I spent a happy 30 minutes in a deserted ball pit. When another child arrived he said it was a time to go (4 yo introvert maybe) and off we went.

I am rather looking forward to Tuesday at 9.00 when school and nursery are back and I have 2.5 hours of just me...

I'm looking forward to a bit of quiet too, I can easily waste an hour just staring into space

What mystifies me as that I used to be an extrovert, but now I am an introvert. How would this happen? Surely no-one can change that way?

Digestives, I have a similar thing when I visit my dad. He is retired and his live revolves around socialising - he will be in the pub from 10 am to 12 am, every day of the week. I am exhausted after a few hours of it. I hate being expected to make conversation for hours and hours and hours on end. How do people do it?

I have friend who loves to host big parties. If I stay for three hours, I feel like I've done a marathon. But if I leave after three hours, she will cry "But you only just got here!".

Hello everyone this is my first visit

Digestives I SO know what yet mean about games. Every year we go to my in laws on Boxing Day and every year one of the cousins organises some kind of after dinner game. I dread it.

Happy new year everyone! Am so done with Christmas and looking forward to a couple of months of cold, quiet, reading-by-the-fire weather.

I've enjoyed this one more than any for ages I think, in particular because of this thread. I have spent no time at all feeling anxious about work or other parties- I said a gracious "no thanks" to all of them and gave them no further thought. I work with lovely people but am happy to hear second hand about their escapades.

peanutbutter I was another big drinker, as a means of over-compensating for my introversion. I did a lot of daft things under the influence. My biggest regret however is the time I wasted self-flagellating in the few days afterwards, feeling distraught with anxiety about whether I'd done anything stupid or made a fool of myself. Even substance-induced extroversion made me uncomfortable.

Does anyone else turn extremely ott extrovert whilst under the influence

Mefisto that's exactly it, painful, gut wrenching anxiety after

Bishbash-oh yes, people who know me from those days think I must be incredibly unhappy with my dull boring stay at home life :) they really can't understand that this IS the real me

Welcome all. It is lovely to read your experiences and the calm feeling you all bring.

'no fuss...settling down...deserted...staring into space...2.5 hours of just me...reading by the fire...this is the real me'

Little snippets from the posts above, all describing exactly who we are. Ahhhhhh, peace :)

Ooh, snugglesrock introvert dating...hmm..that's a tricky one.

I met DH (25 years married, fellow introvert) at my parents' house. No need for pubs, clubs and there was no Internet dating in those days (ancient) .
How do other introverts meet each other?

I was introduced to introvert DH by a mutual (extrovert) friend who thought we were equally weird. She had a point to be fair.

Until then I was not particularly successful in relationships. Apparently I can be intimidating (although people who know me don't agree, it seems to be those who don't know me who think this). There was not a chance in hell of me doing the extrovert thing of picking someone up in a pub or nightclub [shudder].

I met DH at a friend's house on Christmas eve. In those days I coped with going out by drinking.

I used to think he was an extrovert. but actually I think he finds other people very wearing and is more introverted now. He is just better at small talk.

Thanks all. I guess there's hope. I also shudder at clubs

Hello my peaceful people.

I love Christmas because it's just me and the kids and we are in lockdown from the day they finish school to the day they go back. None of us are very sociable and are happy that way so Christmases are a quiet affair here.

Someone said upthread they could waste an hour staring into space - yes, YES, YES. It's my favorite way to pass the time.

I love just sitting and just "be". I didn't quite understand what my dad ment when he said it, but oh my god, I do now. It's relaxing. So relaxing.

I love the radio but I love the TV although I listen to it more than actually watching it. Just look at the odd scene to keep up.

Clubbing is a big NO from me. Even just the thought of getting ready annoys me. I was invited to a noght out with the local gym group but turned it down when they explained it's a pub crawl with a club. I explained that I'd rather go out for a meal and thank you but no thank you, maybe next time though. From what I've heard, a few people have no started to say the same thing since I've said it!

Someone on either this thread or the other thread that inspired this one said that they listened to Joshua Radin and Jason Mraz. Whoever that was - thank you, thank you, thank you.

Anyway, I'm going to go now for a little while, Happy and Peaceful New Year to all of my lovely fellow introverts.

Hello! I havent read the whole thread but wondered if any of you here feel that being introverted is something you ever worry about? I personally have found that I have become more introverted within the last couple of years, to the point of anxiety in certain situations that before I was comfortable in does anyone else feel this?

You need to read the thread and then all will become clear Trampette.

Me and one or two others have said we like to hide/recharge in the toilets sometimes. I've just finished 'Quiet' and she says that this is actually a common phenomenon, which I'm surprised about. I honestly thought that even among introverts this was a rare thing.