Am i right to find this cringeworthy?

[Ledodgy]

Ok today I recieved a wedding invitation to the evening do to a university friend's wedding it had this poem stuffed inside:

"We've been together a few years now;
We have pots and pans and linen and towels;
We have glasses and toasters, really quite a few;
So instead of more gifts, we suggest this to you;
If it doesn't offend and it won't send you running;
What we would really appreciate is quite simply money;
We know choosing gifts can be such a pain;
And this way there is no chance of bringing the same."

Now apart from it being an awful poem with dubious punctuation (won't) I can't help feeling that it's really crass asking people straight out for money. Am I being unreasonable feeling this way?

No,but I'd like to. Haven't downloaded one of these yet so it would be an ideal time to experiment!

dh says evening invites mean you are the 'c' list

I'm with CD here. I thought the done thing was to send out the invitations, and then anybody who wanted to give a present would phone up the person organising (usu. bride's mother) and ask which shop the wedding list was with.

Dh and I did the cloak and dagger, skulk off to the register office with a few friends thing, so had no wedding list at all, even though we were young and broke and sorely lacking in household equipment. So maybe I'm ignorant, or just have very Jane Austen-ish sensibilities, but even including those wedding list cards with the invitations makes me cringe. As as for asking for money -- my dear, the vulgarity...

Ha Ha Enid he's so right and thats one of the reasons im not going. The reception will be full of wannabe A listers, size 10 , bleached blonde and smug. Somehow my size 18 figure and slovenly looking fella aren't going to cut the mustard the only thing I own that is designer is a no added sugar babygrow for ds and that was £3 off ebay.

Well, basically, one of his chums views on it is:

You have to buy someone a gift - even though clearly they have everything. So you're spending money that you dont really want to spend.

The poor goat is minding his own business when someone decides to pack him up and ship him off to some family - he is not happy - he never asked for this

The family are going about their business when one day a goat turns up on their doorstep. So, they think "oh fuck, ANOTHER mouth to feed"

I'm with frogs. Ran off to get married, no list, no presents, no nuffink. Had a surprise party for friends in the evening.
It really took almost no planning at all.
Fair enough if you want to do it, I don't care, but I won't be forced into giving acquaintances my cash - it is so rude to ask for it.

i've never heard of this asking guests only to the evening do and not the wedding? what is this? don't people have the wedding and then the reception and that's that?

i don't get it. in the US, many people get married in the evening and then have a meal and a reception. or in the late morning, followed by brunch.

Yeah but you have the rehearsal dinner don't you,all bouffant hair and pearly teeth right,with about thirty bridesmaids and whatever you call the guys??

I've seen plenty of photographic evidence of this on my visits to the South.

no, not expat! expat eloped. twice.

expat doesn't do bouffant.

my sister, however, had big Mexican American wedding - 10 bridesmaids, 6 foot long train (GORGEOUS ivory coloured silk dress to complement her olive skin) and 300 guests at the smash up Sat. night reception. It was ace - open bar, too.

Ledodgy heres what i would do. You can buy 'gifts' for people from Oxfam. They don't receive the gift, although they will get a card telling them what they have been brought. It will be brought for someone who needs it elsewhere in the world, e.g. a cow,a well,vacinations,wages to employ a teacher for a year. That way they ain't getting any money off of you (Cheeky Sods) & you are doing something good.

Don't like it at all!

Ok love, well back it up then please. If you can explain exactly what it is you've got against giving money to charity, I would be happy to hear from you ;)

Adorabelle,

Well actually, my comments were wholly in response to the poem in Ledodgy's OP! - and absolutely nothing to do with your suggestion about charitable giving.

But that's okay, I accept your apology

SO sorry handleme Wrong end of stick,do it all the time! Thought you were some nasty old bag who was having a dig at my suggestion. You are obviously the complete opposit, as you were so gracious in your reply. Sorry again

lol, no worries. Bless you , I saw the funny side

Always putting FootinMouth but seem to be doing even more at mo as so sleep deprieved. DD 22months only been sleeping thru 3months,but has been ill &now reverted back to old ways i.e.in our bed all night,b.feeding. Thought we'd cracked it as she began sleeping thru all on her own,we don't do sleep training/controlled crying in our house. Dh with her now trying to get her back to sleep in her own room. Any tips on how we can get her sleeping thru again,we know she can do it Cheers

My brother got married in Japan to a Japanese girl. It is standard there to give money - A standard amount : About £120. So you basically don't go to the wedding unless you can afford it. Also it is totally acceptable to invite only half of a couple. Ie if you know the wife but not the husband. people would be v. upset if you did that here.

They used the money to pay for the wedding. Tough break I thought. Better to be a girl. Dad pays for the wedding and you get a lovely day and loads of presents. Bonus!!!