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Original poster

Am i right to find this cringeworthy?

143 replies

Ledodgy · 04/04/2006 09:01

Ok today I recieved a wedding invitation to the evening do to a university friend's wedding it had this poem stuffed inside:

"We've been together a few years now;
We have pots and pans and linen and towels;
We have glasses and toasters, really quite a few;
So instead of more gifts, we suggest this to you;
If it doesn't offend and it won't send you running;
What we would really appreciate is quite simply money;
We know choosing gifts can be such a pain;
And this way there is no chance of bringing the same."

Now apart from it being an awful poem with dubious punctuation (won't) I can't help feeling that it's really crass asking people straight out for money. Am I being unreasonable feeling this way?

OP posts:
paolosgirl · 04/04/2006 10:59

You can't win with wedding presents. I know some people who hate wedding lists from shops; others take exception to being asked for gift vouchers; others are offended if the word "cash" is mentioned.

I just think that you're bound to offend someone, so just try and be as polite as possible, and let the offendees get on with it!

joelalie · 04/04/2006 10:59

Yes you are right. If they don't need any more stuff they don't need money. And the stupid poem doesn't sugar the pill it just makes it harder to swallow. They should have told you they didn't want pressies otherwise accept the gifts gracefully and then take them back to the shops!

People gave gifts at weddings to help a married couple set up their first home. They've got the home already.

paolosgirl · 04/04/2006 11:03

Don't be so mean! Unless they are loaded, the money would let them have a nice holiday or something. What's wrong with helping your friend or relative (someone that you care for, or you wouldn't be going to their wedding presumably) have a nice start to married life?

4blue1pink · 04/04/2006 11:04

People want it all ways

Rhubarb · 04/04/2006 11:06

'Scuse me, but I asked for money at our wedding too! Not disguised in a dumb poem however, but I wrote a letter to each stating that we were going backpacking for our honeymoon and would appreciate funding to be able to do this, as that would be the best wedding pressie for us. But we also put that wedding presents or money was not as essential as that person just turning up and having a good time.

Rhubarb · 04/04/2006 11:07

And actually, 4 people that were paid for and said a week beforehand that they were coming, didn't even bother to show up!

4blue1pink · 04/04/2006 11:08

Oh look its fine anyway and especially if you are straight up about it

spacedonkey · 04/04/2006 11:09

Ah, but it's the way it's phrased isn't it. You got it right rhub, imo

paolosgirl · 04/04/2006 11:09

Totally agree, Rhubarb. No-one forcing you to give money, but if you're stuck for an idea, and want to give something, then why not? I'd far rather they could put it towards the cost of a nice honeymoon or holiday than getting another pile of towels.

BonyM · 04/04/2006 11:14

It's a tricky one. Agree the poem is naff, and it's a cheek to put it into the invitations, and to ask for money.

However...when dh and I got married 3 years ago (2nd time for both of us), we didn't want any gifts as we have everything we need, so didn't make a gift list. If anyone asked, we said we didn't want anything and would just be great to see them on the day etc. Of course though, everyone wanted to buy something (apart from one friend who is is so stingy it's untrue!) so we ended up with half a dozen vases, several boxes of champagne glasses and other assorted glassware.

No easy answer.

izzybiz · 04/04/2006 11:35

most people i know, live together before marriage now, so do have all the home stuff already.
Ive been invited to a few weddings where the couple have asked for vouchers or money, i dont see anything wrong with this, im planning on doing the same for mine.
You are not forced to give a gift, if you dont want to then dont.

Hollyboo · 04/04/2006 11:56

The poem is annoying but I don't think there is anything wrong with asking for money or vouchers. I'd prefer that than having to buy off a wedding list where the cheapest item is a scabby toilet roll holder that costs a fortune!

yummimummy · 04/04/2006 11:56

Sorry but what's wrong with "won't"?

paolosgirl · 04/04/2006 11:58

I'm so glad someone else asked that....

yummimummy · 04/04/2006 11:58

missed out a comma; that should be "sorry, but what's wrong with "won't?""

yummimummy · 04/04/2006 11:59

I looked it up in the dictionary Smile

fuzzywuzzy · 04/04/2006 11:59

I think this is cultural.
Where I'm from you get money..or gold, by the end of my wedding day I was absolutely drippig in gold rings, small gold sets (by gold I mean 22 carrat stuff) and we had to have a person who accepted all the envelopes stuffed with money.......

On the other hand my parents did ask people to just come to the wedding and not worry about gifts.....

maltesers · 04/04/2006 12:05

yes a cheesy poem. Just think if that only a poem what the wedding will be like. Imagine the brides dress etc and all that goes with it. !

Original poster
Ledodgy · 04/04/2006 12:05

pmsl yummimummy Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Ledodgy · 04/04/2006 12:06

my mistake Blush

OP posts:
yummimummy · 04/04/2006 12:08

Fuzzy, I think you'll find that's "carat".
(Runs away quickly with dictionary in hand)

maltesers · 04/04/2006 12:08

TINYGANG ...That was a brilliant poem... made me laugh. So funny. a Cracker ! ! go on Ledodgy sent it .

paolosgirl · 04/04/2006 12:09

Just for that, I sentence you to one evening reception, to which you must take along an envelope with £50 (cash) inside it. You must smile sweetly at your old University friend, tell her you think the poem was lovely and that it makes so much sense to ask for money.

In short, you must eat humble pie big time Grin

Original poster
Ledodgy · 04/04/2006 12:09

Tinygang just seen that poem. Brilliant!

OP posts:
Original poster
Ledodgy · 04/04/2006 12:12

HAHA Paolosgirl. To be honest as I said before I wouldn't mind so much if she'd done what Rhubarb did and wanted money towards something. I think that's a nicer way of putting it. However as it's only an evening do invite and this is the girl who when we were improverished students bought £300 D&G dresses it kind of smacks of lets see how much we can get IYSWIM.

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