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Original poster

Am i right to find this cringeworthy?

143 replies

Ledodgy · 04/04/2006 09:01

Ok today I recieved a wedding invitation to the evening do to a university friend's wedding it had this poem stuffed inside:

"We've been together a few years now;
We have pots and pans and linen and towels;
We have glasses and toasters, really quite a few;
So instead of more gifts, we suggest this to you;
If it doesn't offend and it won't send you running;
What we would really appreciate is quite simply money;
We know choosing gifts can be such a pain;
And this way there is no chance of bringing the same."

Now apart from it being an awful poem with dubious punctuation (won't) I can't help feeling that it's really crass asking people straight out for money. Am I being unreasonable feeling this way?

OP posts:
Original poster
Ledodgy · 04/04/2006 12:13

Impoverished SH*T don't pounce on me!

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fuzzywuzzy · 04/04/2006 12:13

yummimummy carat, carrat, carrots...all the same to this pleb....Wink

GDG · 04/04/2006 12:14

I think it's crass too. If I didn't want anything I'd just say no gifts or suggest a donation to a charity close to my heart. NO WAY would I ask for money - yuk, yuk, yuk

cataloguequeen · 04/04/2006 12:16

Charity begins at home Grin

paolosgirl · 04/04/2006 12:17

Do you think it's OK to ask for money for something specific? Eg holiday, extension etc?

Original poster
Ledodgy · 04/04/2006 12:18

Yeah if i knew that the people concerned weren't loaded. These people however are. Sorry I should have made that clear in my original post.

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paolosgirl · 04/04/2006 12:20

I think I'd feel differently if they were loaded. I was thinking more of the young couples I know who have lived together, but aren't well off - so the cash would be a wonderful start for them.

Original poster
Ledodgy · 04/04/2006 12:22

Paolosgirl, I agree in that situation it wouldn't bother me so much minus the cringeworthy poem of course.

OP posts:
Mog · 04/04/2006 12:31

If you ask for money, even if it is for a holiday or something, there is nothing personal from the guests. I think this is where i would mind just giving money for someone's honeymoon. Just goes into a pot and you have nothing to remind you of the specific guest at your wedding.
Each to their own but I would be hugely embarrassed to ask for money.

moondog · 04/04/2006 12:45

Silly smug cow
Smack her one from me will you??

I don't mind giving money,but would like to think it is going towards something particular (eg honeymoon,bed)

Maybe the best thing to do is to put a discreet message on the invite saying
'Al enquiries to Mr and Mrs Silly Smug Cow'?

If i'm invited to a bit of a do,would always ring and ask re gifts anyway.

Mind you,panhandling when you'll be lucky to get an old chicken leg,stick of celery and a dj playing the Birdy Song is fecking outrageous!!

moondog · 04/04/2006 12:50

Tying the knot I hear?
At long bloody last!

With yuor family so laoded
It'll be quite a blast

As for your begging-I find it quite odd
There's nowt in it for me,so feck off you tight sod.

maltesers · 04/04/2006 13:09

OOOOOOHHHHH ! WHY ARE PEOPLE GETTING SO BITCHY ? ? ITS NOT NECESSARY.... This is meant to be an olde friend of yours.

moondog · 04/04/2006 13:23

She isn't though Maltesers.
That is precisely the point.

MadamePlatypus · 04/04/2006 14:01

If you were going to the wedding, I would work out what you get to eat at the evening do, calculate your share of the entertainment and send them a cheque with itemised receipt afterwards. Remember to subtract any travel expenses. (I expect that as you are only invited to the evening do you would have to pay for your own drinks).

georginarf · 04/04/2006 14:10

OK - if you invite good friends who you actually see and family to your wedding, then it is very easy to spread the word that there is a present list/you'd prefer money/nothing/charity donations etc. People can ask, rather than putting doggerel or lists in the invitation - this rather implies that they're expecting a present whether the receiever can go or not - might not be the case, but that's how it feels.

If you invite people who aren't particularly good friends and put the list/shite poetry in with the invitation then it's rude IMO - especially when it's to the evening do, where often you can invite loads of people and therefore everyone Tom, Dick and Harry you've ever met are often invited. Inviting someone you've seen a few times in 6 years and insintuating that you want them to hand some cash over, as well as all the costs that can be involved in going to wedding, is downright RUDE. Mostly, if people want to buy a present, they'll ask you what you want. Presents are not a right

I really don't think we're being bitchy here.

Socci · 04/04/2006 14:27

Angry bloody cheek - that would be enough for me to refuse the invitation.

Socci · 04/04/2006 14:31

It's also crass to ask for something when they can't even be bothered to invite you for the whole day. Can't stand evening invites...that's another thread though.

purplemonkeydishwasher · 04/04/2006 14:35

Where I come from in Canada people put "Presentation" on invites which is basically asking the same thing. We didn't, but everyone just expects it now. I guess it's easier to put some cash in an envelope than actually THINK of something to buy and then actually GO OUT and buy it.
It is kind of crass but it really helped us set up our house. Even more so because we got married over there but live over here.

Rhubarb · 04/04/2006 14:35

Whatever! It's their wedding, let them ask away if that's what they want! Don't really see the point tbh. Would you rather you went out and bought them a vase to go with the 10 other vases that they got (and will probably end up in a charity shop) or give them money so they can get what they really want? I'd much prefer the money bit, it's less hassle as I never know what to get at weddings!
You can bet they'll get pressies anyway from some people. If you were going to spend £20 on a pressie, why not just give them that £20? What does it matter if they are loaded or not? Would you refrain from buying them a pressie just because they are loaded? No? Then why kick up a fuss about giving them the money for it then?

Don't get it, sorry!

Socci · 04/04/2006 14:40

Rhubarb it's in very bad taste - you shouldn't ask for anything imo. You ask people to your wedding because you want them there, not to line your pockets! And that hideous poem is unforgivable.

Tortington · 04/04/2006 14:53

i went to your wedding
i saw you get hitched
i couldnt believe the present you pitched
if you have any decency, a moral or two
you will graciously accept the gift i bought for you
although you cant cook it, i bought you lamb
it's for a grateful family and bought from oxfam.

Rhubarb · 04/04/2006 14:58

But how many of you didn't have a wedding pressie list at your weddings then? Eh? Tbh, I get more offended by them than I do about being asked for money!

Good poem though Custy! For a southerner that is!

babyonboard · 04/04/2006 15:10

hmm..fair enough the poem sucks
but when we had out baby we got all sorts of xpensive gifts..i.e baby wipe warmer!? cashmere babygros etc etc..
would have rather had the moeny or them not spend so much on stuff we never usd tbh

Socci · 04/04/2006 15:12

I didn't have a wedding list - don't like them either.

Original poster
Ledodgy · 04/04/2006 15:14

and i'm not even married but lets not go there that's a sore point at the moment Grin

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