Would I be a terrible woman if i advise my DD's to act in a way so they are less likely to be assaulted.

[Rubytuesdayy]

With respect to lit streets, chaste clothes, state of drunkenness etc etc? Or would I be victim blaming prior to teh event. I KNOW that rape is the fault of the rapists, but I just want my DD's to be safe.

oh and yes my baby despite being born very early is now a delightful confident young lady

Running, I'm in the process of answering that. I've asked you whether the questions that you've listed - the victim blaming questions - are asked for any other attack. If they are not then how can you argue that they are the result of people being given safety advice? If the safety advice given for all attacks (including rape) is the same then it is something else that is causing the victim blaming. I do not think that society's opinion of rape or rape victims has anything to do with whether or not safety advice is being given.

Bumbley the safety advice given that you're giving has no evidential effect on whether someone gets raped or not. We've gone over this now a fair bit.

Can I ask

• why do you keep going back to it?
• is there a particular reason you are holding so tightly to your belief that this advice might keep someone safe from being raped?

socknickingpixie I'm so glad your baby was fine and is now growing up well :)

cheddar I'm so sorry for what you went through and that you are reminded of it so often. Xx

Bumbley - I don't agree that rape can be compared with other crimes - it is not helpful and just acts as a distraction to the subject in hand. We're not discussing 'general safety' here - (well you might be, but I'm not) I'm talking about the specific advice doled out to women with regard to rape.

CheddarCheese it is the case for many rapists that they do. That is why it scares me that we are telling young women that so much of the power in these cases is in their hands. I know it feels like we are empowering them and making them safer. I think that it doesn't help. It just makes them feel wrong and powerless and stupid when they are targeted.

Very sorry for what happened to you.

The victim is always on trial in rape cases, sadly, Kim.

Including those terrible cases where the rapist represents himself and is allowed to cross-examine his victim for hours on end. Essentially assaulting her twice - once in the original attack and then again in courtroom.

the cps are prosecutors for the crown but they are also there to advocate for the victim, victim impact statements are a way of making sure the court understands how you feel about what happened.

whilst there are some huge huge failings in the system there are also some great services like victim support who can be helpfull, the uk now has special measures for vunrable people required to attend courts (video links ect).rape crisis are also very good as is nhs a& e staff training.

a good way to avoid the victim being on trial is to not allow any questions relating to things like sexual history or dress and not allow any defense based on this.

i recived a great deal of support but my experance is not the norm and i expect its because i come from a family of police officers and barristers.

Probably should say 'accused' rather than 'rapist'

Sock - your story is so appalling - I'm so sorry for what you went through.

Running, it is relevant to the point that I am making. That attitudes to rape and rape victims do not have anything to with the safety advice that is being given (because that is the same for other types of attacks) - it is something else. That is what needs to be addressed. that is what needs to change. Well - one of the things that needs to change. Clearly there are quite a few. Pathetic sentences for convicted rapists being another.

Sock, I am really shocked that they are free. That is disgraceful. I'm very glad that your little girl has grown up safe and well. She has a mummy she can be proud of :)

Are victims of any other crime questioned like that?

Bumbley - I tell you what - comparing rape with other crimes is muddying the waters imo. You tell me if victims of mugging are asked the same questions - I don't know.

I'm talking about rape. If you want to mention other crimes whilst justifying what you said upthread, knock yourself out.

one thing that few people realise in fact lots of police officers dont is that any victim(irrespective of age) of any crime is able to ask for an appropreate adult if they need one to be with them during a interview just the same as a accused person who needs one is.they can be a friend a charity worker a family member or in cases of extream trauma or learning differculity/health issue/ disability/being a minor an actual professional appropreate adult there job is to make sure you understand the process understand all the questions you get asked during interview are treated properly and have included everything you wish to in your statements and victim impact statement

"Are victims of any other crime questioned like that? "

my mum was about being burgled, as she was separated it was obviously a gentleman caller who she had LET in who robbed her.. and she was finger printed and not allowed to phone my dad (who she wanted to inform what with him being the father of the child that was in the house when the burgler came in) without an officer listening in to her conversation.

My dad (also single but TBH MUCH more likely to have lady callers comming and going than my mum who hasn't dated since him) was also robbed once and got none of that!